2 days ago I lost my best friend of 12 years. He was years old and had been progressively losing weight for the last few months. I subconsciously knew his time was coming to an end but I didn’t want to believe it. He has been with me my entire adult life and I don’t know what to do without him. We’ve moved 4 times, he’s been there through nursing school laying by my side for countless hours “helping” me study. He was there for me at the end of long 12 hour shifts. And we cuddled on my days off. He waited for me outside the bathroom door, he followed me everywhere. He loved going for walks, although over the last year that had become difficult for him. I had purposely been staying home more over the last year just to be with him as much as I could. My entire days routine revolved around our walks and his schedule and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have a SO or children so he was my family. My apartment is empty without him. I can’t bring myself to empty his water or food bowls and every toy and blanket is exactly how he left it. I don’t even want to vacuum bc it would erase his foot prints. I get waves of insurmountable sadness thinking about him and I’m not sure what to do. I would give anything for another day with him.
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My Dear Kara,

I am so, so saddened to read of your recent loss of Jake and of what you are going through during this very difficult time. Please know that you are not alone and you came to the right place. This forum is filled with many kind, compassionate, warm, wise, loving and caring individuals who understand exactly what you are going through and enduring. They have and continue to help me through my own loss and grief. And there are so many good insights and advice on dealing with grief and so many amazing stories about those we have lost.

I am just over 7 months in now on my own journey, and if you haven't had to endure something like this before in your life, I can tell you that is DOES get easier as time passes. I still miss my own boy, an orange & white Tabby cat named "Marmalade", who was my best friend, my son, my only remaining family, my love and my light. He was believed to be around 11 or 12 although our paths only crossed around 4 1/2 years prior to him being put to sleep. But when I think of him now, for the most part only good memories come to mind. Something I had hoped would finally come to pass.

I tool saved my boys water bowl and plate. And his brush with his fur (which I placed in a ziploc bag to preserve) which I will save with a few other things that were his in a Tupperware container to look at later. and I displayed his ashes with his paw prints and keep them next to my bed. I will display a photo of him with an electronic candle soon.

Your lad Jake was such a very handsome boy. I enjoyed learning a bit about him and the photo in the center is my personal favorite. Jake has a very knowing look on his face and he appears very "knowing." The area you live in appears very beautiful. I am glad he got to go on walks in such a gorgeous area. Now many of us here know of Jake.

You can easily see the great love you had and continue to hold for your lost beloved in your writing in your post. I am so grateful that your pup Jake experienced such great love from you during his lifetime. All dogs should be so blessed and fortunate. And I am happy that your boy gave you such great love and attention in return and that you both provided each other with companionship.

All we can do is continue to travel through time and allow our built-in healing mechanism to do it's job. It's each of our birthright. Please be gentle with yourself and visit us again when you are able. I wish you healing and peace. 

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
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He was a handsome pup and he looks very happy in those pictures. I know you miss him desperately. I lost my girl in November. Just know that the love you two had is greater than the pain you are feeling now and eventually the heartache will cease. I still have my moments and honestly my faith in the Most High has getting me through...I still feel the void but look forward to the day we will be reunited.
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Thank you both for your replies. It means a lot to discuss this with someone who has been through it, and I am so sorry for your loss as well. It has officially been one week without my best friend and I miss him terribly. I still cry daily and do not feel like myself. And if I am being honest I still have yet to remove his food and water bowls, which remain filled. Every blanket he laid on is in the same place as it was one week ago. To make matters worse, I have a move planned at the end of this month and I am dreading being forced to pack up his things. The thought of this is making me nauseous. I hope things will get better but I am doubtful at this point. Hope everyone has a good week. 
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I’m so sorry. Jake was a good looking boy. I understand and agree it is so hard. Especially when you have a daily routine with them. I was with my girl 24/7 and losing her almost 3 months ago hasn’t gotten any easier. She was our world, we don’t have kids. I feel I don’t have a purpose now, without her I’m lost too. It takes time, this is second dog that has passed for us. This time around I feel is more difficult. Hugs to you, hang in there.....
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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