Wadsmom
I lost my angel Wadsworth Oct 8th and my life has changed terribly!  Wadsy had a cancer tumor removed in June and the Doc felt good about  the removal and we had him Xrayed in Aug and he said there is nothing anywhere....that rang false Oct 6th. Wads was just not acting right, like he had a tummy ache so I stayed up with him until 3am and he seemed more comfy. I took him to the Doc at 9am and they had him for the day. The thought was he had gas in his tummy and nothing else. Well, that wa sooo very wrong! The next 12 hrs at the Vet ER forever changed my waking hours and my dreams. To make a terrible night short, Wads had emergency surgery that found a tumor around his aorta so the Doc could not remove but we talked about treatment...then Wads went into cardiac arrest and .....
I keep seeing this movie from that night and it stinks! I'm mad! I question my faith! I'm pissed at my vet! My heart is just empty!My attitude is different and I just can not find a true happy place. My husband says "you're deppressed" and that just makes me mad!!!!! I am greiving and I can not find how to move forwrd!I have other pets and I have had losses but this is just killing me. I just miss my black and white Shih Tzu  sooooo bad!
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Aikilts
I am so sorry for your loss I know all those feelings all to well I work for a vet and could not catch My girls she 2 had a tumor hermangio sarcoma tumora of the blood vessel that grew without our knowledge and she hid it so well even xrays hid it it spread and grew on the right ventricle of her heart causing blood supply to stop to the heart. I also have that er nightmare replay we did get to bring her home to confirm diagnosis but had to put her to sleep the next day she had labored breathing. I cry with you and feel your pain I feel like a thief in the night came and stole my life to. I am so sorry there are many here that have experienced the same thing and are here to listen and cry with you this is a wonderful web site.

Alicia
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Woodypatty
I wish I had all the right things to say to you to ease your pain. I lost my girl Raven Oct.30 and still battle with anger and guilt at times. She was a Lhasa Apso mix.
I hope coming here and writing about Wadsworth and what you are going through helps you if only a little. I understand replaying the incident in your mind. It is torment.We will be here for you .I hope you can find some peace in this day.
                                                                                                  Patty
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judylinn

I'm very sorry Wadsmom...there are no answers as to why things like that happen. the anger is part of the grief, and it's okay. There was nothing your vet could even do, or you, but the loss is such a terrible things. Let yourself feel all the grief. We will be here for you. Judy

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Wadsmom
Thank you all and I extend my sympathy for your losses too.
It just seems like I lost my happy place. I miss him soo much and I am angry! I cry everyday at one point or another. I see those events in my head and I just break down. He was my child and this is soo hard!
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judylinn

I know what you mean by seeing the events...and that can be tormenting. Someone gave us a good idea, when your head starts to see those hard pictures, try and replace then right away, with a memory that was nice. It really does help. Judy :)

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Wadsmom

The pictures of events are soo hard to hide but I am trying. I miss my boy soo much! I just have such an empty spot. I feel for him at night on the pillow.

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