JamesT
My English mastiff named, Titan, passed yesterday 3 hours after having surgery for a perforated intestine. He would have been 2 years old in 3 weeks. I am extremely depressed, and a mess. I haven't left the house today, haven't eaten and all I seem to do is sob, about every 15 or so. I know everyone goes through this type of emotion when loosing a pet, but this is my first, under my care, and I feel horrible.

Titan was throwing up, loss of appetite, more lethargic than normal. I waited a day just to see if things would get better, and they did.. He stopped throwing up, even perked up a little bit, but while he was on his side, I noticed what looked to be a raised ball like area in his abdomen, and I knew something was up. We ended up going to a vet that stayed open pretty late, and that vet told me that all his vitals were fine, however, he would need to have surgery in the AM by my normal vet, didn't think the surgery needed to happen that night.  

My vet told me what happened was that an object perforated his intestine, and the body was able to separate or enclose that area so that's why his vitals were pretty good under the circumstances. The issue was that the scare tissue started to build up, cause his intestines to compact together giving him that hard lump on the side.  They surgery was long, around 4 or so hours, and they also had to remove some of his intestine due to necrosis. 

I went to see him after surgery, and I told him I loved him and that I would pick him up the following day.. about 2 hours later the vet called me and told me that his heart rate, and blood pressure dropped, and they were trying to get him back with atropine, which I guess succeeded, because about an hour later, they called back and told me that Titan had no brain function, and had passed. 

I know time will heal all, but, I miss him dearly, he was my best friend, always excited to see me, made me happy. I will never forget him.
Quote 0 0
Baileysbro
So sorry for your loss, a puppy at such a young age. 



Bailey
October 31, 2002 - April 19, 2016 10:25 P.M.
My best friend, my companion, my love

[e8de4bc1-77ae-4da2-9834-109b68b6cda8]

[Paws-for-the-News-Grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet] 
Quote 0 0
CKMP
JamesT,
There are no words to say that could ease your sense of loss and heartache.  I am so so sorry for your loss of Titan.  To lose a special friend is so difficult and to lose a special friend that was so young it is devastating and shocking.  This is so so new and fresh a loss - what you are feeling is too familiar to all of us who are here to share our heartache and support one another through tough days and moments.  The loneliness, the emptiness and the ache is there because of your deep love and bond with Titan.  Remind yourself Titan is at peace and will have no more pain nor discomfort.  You did the right things for him - you looked after him unselfishly - you took him to emergency and you gave him the surgery recommended.  He knows you love him and knew it each day. This is a tough, hard road - grief is real and is a real and true ache, an ache in the heart and the soul.  We get through this, not over this.  I am still working through this process after losing my girl, two months and 8 days ago.  There are so many kind and supportive people on this forum - many shoulders to lean on.  Titan is always with you, always near you - bonds we form with our special companions cannot be broken or lost.  Tears are our final gift to our friends - each tear that falls is testimony to the impact Titan had on you and life.  The days will be like moving through a dense fog, tears will fall without warning, and a realization of how life has changed overnight will be unwelcome - It will take as much time as it takes to find the way to see Titan is not gone- just there with you differently.  Come here often, share your thoughts.   Warm thoughts . . .  
Quote 0 0
JamesT
Thank you for the kind words. 
Quote 0 0
wjson
James, my heart goes out to you... cant imagine loosing a 2yr old dog.

You mentioned during surgery there was an "object perforated his intestine", did the vet say what the "object" was ??? 
 
Several years ago I had an english mastiff named Kio she weighed 208lbs whom experienced the same as your dog, they found a sock in her intestine and survived, however her surgery was performed within hours not the following day. Wonder if the vet waited too long.

My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Wendy


Maverick come back to me I need you....
 photo.JPG   
wendy 
Quote 0 0
JamesT
Wendy, 

    Unfortunately that object was a chicken bone. I did my research, and talked to my vet about raw feeding, which I did for a year and a half. I deemed raw chicken bones would be safe due to their ability to be easily digested, as I fed him chicken quarters, which was the only bone in meats I fed. However, I was extremely incorrect. And that makes matters worse because it was, me, who did this to him.  We just had bad luck. And I lost the most amazing dog because of it. 
Quote 0 0
camunki
oooh JamesT, words cannot even describe how you feel........I am so sorry for the loss of your Titan. And I have read in the past where many people have given their pets the raw chicken bones, and I am so sorry this was part of the reason for his passing. Please do not let guilt consume you, your Titan knows you love him, he is now your guardian angel.

I lost my Dakota at 4 1/2 y/o due to a vet mis diagnosing her, and i consumed my thoughts with, "I should have just taken her to another vet and she would be alive"....but in hindsite, we don't know what the outcome will/would be.

Huge hugs your way for being by your Titans side, and taking him to the vet..........please know you did not plan this, sometimes in life the worst things happen to good people, please take care of yourself and keep posting, it helps.

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
jimmy17
James I am so very sorry.  To lose Titan at only 2 years old is beyond horrible, but please don`t blame yourself for his loss. Its human nature to feel guilty when we lose our animals and its a part of the grieving process , along with anger and a shed load of other emotions.   Your grief is extremely new and raw - when I had to have my dog put to sleep I couldn`t eat or sleep, I was basically just existing for the first few days, but it will slowly get a little better with time.   
 Titan knew how much you loved and cared for him, which is the most important thing,  and you`ve come to the right place here where everyone understands just how you`re feeling right now. 
                                                 Take care, Jackie
J Taylor
Quote 0 0
winstonsmom12

James  I am so very sorry for your loss of Titan.  He was so very young.  Your grief and shock are also very new.  It took me a good 2 weeks to pull myself together after my Winston passed.  I still cry most everyday, but I am a little better now than I was.  It is not your fault.  You gave him chicken bones assuming they were ok.  Don't blame yourself for that.  I wish you luck in your time of grief.  Hugs  Sue

Susan
Quote 0 0
CKMP
James - Each day is different through this journey and each is a day that will bring what it brings through grief and tears.  Memories, emotions and thoughts will flow out of your control or so it seems.  You can not let guilt in- I can tell you by experience that when it 'moves in' it takes its time leaving.  You did not knowingly hurt Titan and he knows this.  Throughout your time together he knew he was loved and cared for.  I know words are somewhat meaningless now - And there is no doubt we find all sorts of ways to blame ourselves - what ifs, should haves, could haves and dids and didnots all become 'monsters' in our self punishment.  We take responsibility for our special friends and look out for them in always the best manner.  My girl has been gone for two months + now and I still am plagued by these thoughts and still cry for her [and me] every day.  A friend so loved and so close knows the true nature of their human friend - of course they do - that is the bond of loyalty and love between us.  Titan knows, Titan harbours no anger, resentment or hurt.  He loves you for you and accepts life for what it is - even now as his life is different as is yours.  Sometimes no matter what we do or how we do it we lose those we love most dearly.  Titan is still an amazing dog - he still is who he is - and he is still side by side with you - still that super greeter and super buddy.  Lean on others here for support - Warm thoughts ..  .
Quote 0 0
JamesT
Today is a little better than yesterday. Was able to finally get some food down, and able to actually go out, and not make a scene. I know it will get better with each passing day, but it still hurts.

Thank you everyone for the kind words.  
Quote 0 0
wjson
Hi James, first and foremost this is NOT YOUR FAULT!

I also thought chicken bones are a part of the raw diet. A friend of mine also feeds her dog raw diet which includes chicken bones - whole hind quarters. You did everything right, you inquired with a professional your vet about raw diet and weren't warned about risk of chicken bones ?

Im so sorry... Be kind to your self, its obvious you never would have put your dogs health at risk.What you're feeling and thinking has got to be pure hell, all the should have, could have & would have's must be overwhelming. Again, don't be hard on yourself, you are not at fault. 
They say "time" will heal the pain ? Maybe in 'time" we learn to accept it but the pain never really goes away...

My dog Maverick, the love of my life died 10weeks ago from a heart failure. The last 3 to 5 minutes of his life was horrifying, he was so scared. My CPR attempts failed, unable to help him nor could I get him help he desperately needed. This has been a life altering traumatic experience, my world has been turned upside down. I don't feel like the same person probably because I'm not. Simple daily routines are different, looks different... Just doesn't feel right, I find it extremely difficult to acclimate into this new reality. 

This site is the only and one place I have found where others can truly relate. Maybe you'll find some comfort communicating with others here, I certainly have...

Take care, Wendy

Maverick come back to me, PLEASE
 IMG_0098.JPG 



wendy 
Quote 0 0