Rocsi
As I write this my tears are streaming right out of me. Yesterday I had to say good bye to my sweet Rocsi. I’ve been with Rocsi for 13 years. My father surprised me with her when she was just 1. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. Now there is this emptiness filling my house and me. She was such a good sweet girl. The best dog I could’ve ever asked for. I never thought the day would come that we would no longer be together. I miss her so much and can not begin to describe the deep ache I feel in my chest. Everywhere I turn in my house I think of her. From walking down the stair to even hearing someone come to the door. She was with me always. Even when I would use the bathroom. I don’t know how I will ever get over this, all I know is I wish she was still here. I loved her so much and just can’t believe this had to happen. I just can’t stop crying. Rocsi just meant so much to me and had/has such a big spot in my heart. 
Rocsi 💖
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Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Rocsi. I feel that animals can reach a part of our hearts that others do not. They give us unconditional love and support through everything. They are wonderful, constant companions. And when they leave us it is heartbreaking.

My condolences,
Jan
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Rocsi
Jan,

Thank you so much for reaching out. 
Rocsi 💖
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Buddy_Mama
I’m so sorry for your loss of Rocsi. I truly understand the pain you’re feeling, and the emptiness, feeling lost, the deep and profound grief. It has helped me to come here, share my feelings, read others’ experiences, receive support and give support. I hope this is helping you too, and I hope you continue to come back. You’re not alone; we’re in this together. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Rocsi
Cindy,

Thank you you so much for reaching and I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I wish no one ever had to go through this and that they could just have lived for the rest of our lives. This pain comes in waves and sometime I feel like I’m drowning. I pray for everyone on here and send a big virtual hug back to you. 
Rocsi 💖
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Runningman66
So sorry for your loss and sending you virtual hugs.I’ve just joined as my beloved 10yr old choc lab Coco was put to sleep almost a month ago as he’d just had enough what with his heart disease + arthritis + he’d virtually stopped eating but I can honestly say even now a month on I’ve thought of taking my own life as I just want to be with him + that makes no sense to me as I don’t believe in the after life.I must have cried every single day especially in the morning when I realise he’s not on my bed licking my face wanting to get up.The emptiness is overwhelming + his passing has taken a huge toll on my own health as I have not been the same since he passed mainly due to my own guilty feelings as I keep asking myself did I cause his death by letting him lick our dinner plates + hands after we had eaten as these would have had salt on them so I keep blaming myself for his heart disease even though we’ll never know now.I picked up his urn last week which was in itself a very traumatic experience + I know people have been very kind saying it will get easier but at the moment I’m in a very dark place as i cannot comprehend my boy is now in a little albeit lovely box.Hugs to all who have lost a pet.
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Helena79

I totally understand everything you have written. I am only on day 5 and it’s overwhelming. I too have thought of joining him. I genuinely don’t want to pretend everything is ok without him here. 

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Runningman66
Helena79 wrote:

I totally understand everything you have written. I am only on day 5 and it’s overwhelming. I too have thought of joining him. I genuinely don’t want to pretend everything is ok without him here. 



Sending you hugs on your loss.I’m not going to give you any advice as I’m sure you’ve had plenty but I’ll just say these forums are a nice way of expressing your feelings with people who have gone through the experience of losing a pet but I can suggest you go on Amazon and look at Kate McGahan’s books on pet loss and grief as even though they have not healed my emotional distress at losing my dog they are making my acceptance he’s in a better place a little easier.Just take one day at a time🙏🏻
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Buddy_Mama
Rocsi, Runningman, Helena... please know you are not alone in anything you’re feeling. All of us grieving pet parents are experiencing wrenching loss together. Although you sometimes can’t help doing it, please do *not* blame yourself for your baby’s passing. Even the best vets can’t always detect hidden conditions, and our pets usually hide symptoms of illness or injury - it’s hard-wired in their DNA. And many times all the medicine or preventive steps in the world can’t reverse nature’s course.

Grief is all-consuming when it’s fresh... that’s natural and OK. The good news is, we humans also have something hard-wired in our DNA: the ability to cope and heal. It just takes time, being good to ourselves, having a way to express what we’re feeling, and getting understanding & support. That’s what this forum is for. Sending hugs to all of you...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Runningman66
Totally agree.I’ll never ever get over my Coco’s death as he’s a huge loss in my life being our first and only dog but I’m praying as time goes on I can accept he’s in a better place but at the moment I cannot even look at pics + films of him as it’s still to raw and even writing this I have tears thinking about him but a month on and he’s all I ever think about everyday.So wish could turn back time as his 10yrs seems like only yesterday😢
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Helena79

Thank you 🙏 
we are getting the ashes back this evening and I don’t know how I feel about it  
my heart is breaking 



QUOTE username=Runningman66 userid=7219641 postid=1311649838]Totally agree.I’ll never ever get over my Coco’s death as he’s a huge loss in my life being our first and only dog but I’m praying as time goes on I can accept he’s in a better place but at the moment I cannot even look at pics + films of him as it’s still to raw and even writing this I have tears thinking about him but a month on and he’s all I ever think about everyday.So wish could turn back time as his 10yrs seems like only yesterday😢

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Runningman66
Personally I found going for his ashes probably more traumatic than the day he passed over and then the questions started in my head like how do I know his ashes are in that urn even though his certificate said he was individually cremated.This is another example of what losing a pet does to our minds.Well it does to mine but my one regret of many is that I wish I’d have stayed with him longer at the vets as my mind at the time was in another world as I could not comprehend he was going and I still haven’t accepted I’ll never hold and kiss him ever again.Emptiness is an understatement.Hugs to all.
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Rocsi
To everyone who has responded to my post, I can not tell you enough how good the support feels. I find myself reflex checking on her and then somehow having to remind myself she isn’t here anymore. I still can’t believe she is gone. We must stay strong however for them. They would want us to be happy as they were such bundles of joy. I know this is going to be hard but now we have our beautiful little angels looking down on us. I’ve found just letting it out when it comes helps and then just trying to remember all the good memories. Sending everyone virtual hugs and love. It will get better. I am planning on lighting a candle and saying a couple words for her. 
Rocsi 💖
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Buddy_Mama
Picking up my Buddy's ashes was tough. We did that at the end of March, after waiting 3 agonizing weeks for his necropsy to be completed. Due to coronavirus restrictions, the staffer came out to our car and handed me a little bag through the car window. In it was an impossibly small box of his ashes, and a card signed by all the staff. I burst into tears and cried all the way home. Starting that night and every night since, when I go to bed I bring Buddy's ashes into our bedroom and place them on the dresser, so I can see him (and he can see me). And in the morning, I bring them to the living room and place the box in one of his favorite nap spots, just 10 feet or so from where my husband & I work from home, so he can be with us during the day.

Rocsi, you are so right. We do need to be strong, because our babies would want us to be happy... even though it's so hard as we're coping with our sorrow and grieving. And yes, letting it out when it comes - and making an effort to remember the good times - does help. We need to allow ourselves to do both.

I wish all of us a peaceful night... calm and healing... eventual smiles as we remember wonderful things about our babies... and the realization that taking good care of ourselves is the very best way to honor their memory.
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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