Pearlsmommy
It's only been four days since I released Pearl, and I knew I would have crying jags, but I knew her release date was imminent; her arthritis was so bad, but as long as she was taking her joint chewies, vitamins and Juuva wafers, and eating and drinking very well, I knew she'd be around for an undetermined amount of time.
 
But she was crying from pain and unable to go back to sleep after going out for her middle of the night pottty trip, until I gave her her liquid Hydrocodone.  I don't like administering it if I can avoid it, since it makes her constipated, but it did help her relax and go back to sleep.  It occurred the next night, with another administration of Hydrocodone but I was now aware of her vile breath, indicative of kidney failure.  She hasn't had any teeth for over a year now, so her breath has been very sweet until last Tuesday.  I put the puzzle together in my mind and realized it was time to release her from her physical prison.
 
I thought I would have some difficulty, but in reality, I was numb for three days.  I cried a bit on and off, but today, the damn broke and I haven't been able to stop crying except for small, sporadic intermissions but in no time at all, I was wailing my heart out again!  I can't seem to get it together!!!! Pearl on Nicole's couch at 6 years old.jpg 
 
Linda Stradley
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Jan_H
Linda,

I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Pearl. She was gorgeous! It's only been four days and it is normal to experience shock, cry and feel lost. You ended her suffering and it was the right thing to do. Now you are suffering and it is painful.

There are many understanding and compassionate people here. It can help to share feelings, pictures and stories about Pearl, when/if you want. I hope in time happy memories of Pearl help ease your pain.


My condolences,
Jan

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Pearlsmommy
My head and my soul know it was the kindest thing I could do for my sweetheart puppy, but my heart isn't accepting it yet!
Linda Stradley
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Pearlsmommy
She was 6 weeks away fro her 17th birthday, November 30th.

Linda Stradley
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Linda,

As you well know 17 years is an extraordinary lifetime for any pup. A midsize dog in the wild only lives on average 10 years. Dogs are not biologically designed / engineered to live over 10. 17 years is a testament to how well you cared for your Pearl and how she did her best to hang on to life for as long as she could.

I too had to make that final, fatal decision and put my beloved to sleep. Prior to doing so he had moaned in his sleep all night while we were sleeping. Which he had never done before. He was near completely deaf (prior to my adopting him) so he was unaware that he was making that sound. But it contributed to my making the choice that I did. As your Pearl crying informed you.

You made the right call. It is heartbreaking to be forced into making that decision, but I am glad that Pearl got to live such a long life and experienced your love and devotion. Well done!

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James
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Pearlsmommy
I really did give her a great life.  In the past four months, I have been feeding her with a souvenir spoon (smaller bowl) to insure that she ate all her food, and getting water into her with a large syringe.  She ate on her own, but with no teeth left, she couldn't eat as much.  And when she drank water, only about every 5th lick would grab the liquid.  But she had a hearty appetite and would drink four or five syringes of water, so I continued to monitor her.  I gave her joint chewies and Extend Powder in her food (also for her arthritic joints) as well as her vitamins and Sun Chlorella wafers for dogs and cats, and saw three large lumps disappear (the Sun Chlorella changes the body's pH to an alkaline, and Cancers cannot live in an alkaline environment).  I also had been adding a powder to her food that kept her kidneys functioning well.   

By the beginning of September, though, her arthritis was really becoming a limitation and I was carrying her up the stairs and outside to the back yard to go potty every two hours, except when she would sleep for four solid hours after breakfast.  But the minute she woke up, I would swoop her up off of the armchair (where she liked to nap on a pee pee pad so she could see me working in the kitchen) and take her out for another pee pee (to extend the life of the pee pee pads).  She was incontinent and totally toothless, and partially deaf but had perfect vision.

Still though, she had a good appetite and drank plenty of water.  I did daily sniff tests of her breath because my Vet told me that when her breath starts to smell like urine and is very foul, she is in kidney failure.  It was especially easy to discern when it changed because once she was completely toothless, her breath was very sweet.

So once she had two bad nights, rejected her vitamins and supplements and breakfast, and breathed on me, added to moaning in pain with her ears back, I knew that I had no choice; she'd reached the end of the road and she deserved to be relieved from being crippled and in pain.

Rationally, I know she is with her Momma, probably all of her siblings (based on how long she lived), and greeting my first Pomeranian, Rocky, my cat, Rascal and my daughter's Golden Retriever, Rosie (who made it to 14 and was released on December 1st, 2017) all of whom Pearl knew well, except Rocky (he died six months before I got Pearl and her 10 week old daughter, Leah), I KNOW that she is overjoyed to be free of pain and being a clumsy pup.  I am just feeling sorry for me.  Leah, her daughter, has been feeling like I didn't love her anymore, because I devoted so much time to her Momma.  She doesn't even seem depressed!  Not yet, anyway.
Linda Stradley
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chilover
Pearlsmommy

I am so sorry for your loss of your precious pearl...
The heartache is awful, it is exhausting, but having them in our lives is worth all the pain!

You clearly worked around the clock making sure that she was well looked after & you did an amazing job..

I lost my little one 'a Chihuahua' to Kidney failure too & she also had arthritis. She was also taking the powder in her food, it was 'Ipakatine'as her phosphate levels were high! She was a little anemic too but the vet said that he didn't really want to prescribe any drugs because of the kidneys..She was already on steroids for the arthritis too..

It is such a shame that they don't live as long as we do..
They light up our lives in so many ways.

Sending comfort & support

Daisy's mummy



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Pearlsmommy
And yet, it's harder on them if we go first, isn't it?

Linda Stradley
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chilover
Pearlsmommy

Yes because they wound pine for us.
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AP44
You were such a devoted mom to your baby and that shows in your exceptional dedication and care of her. I am sorry for your loss.
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