Susie

I never thought I'd have to do this, at least not for a very long time.
I can't believe what has happened now. We had four cats for years, then we lost my sweet Precious of 17 years a little over 4 months ago, something I'm still dealing with every day, and then on September 26, we lost our dear Milo, only 8 years old. We are all so heartbroken. I was still aching from Precious, and now this has happened. Milo had lung issues, but we always made sure he was monitored very closely, and he had been doing wonderfully on his medicine. Not having many asthma spells at all, only once in awhile, and always making sure to wake me up every morning around 5:30. I miss that so much. He was so excited to wake up for the day & for us to spend our time together. 

He was an angel after losing Precious, Milo was always next to me, whether I was working, just relaxing, or even when I was sleeping. It hurts so much to write this. I've never been hit with something like this. I don't even know where to begin. I haven't been able to post anything until now because I don't want to believe it. Since the first day I saw Milo at the vet, he was there available for adoption from a shelter..he reached his paw through the cage to touch my face...then they let me hold him & he wrapped his little arms around my neck like a hug. That was love at first sight. I miss him so much :(

The two kitties left, Dusty & Sassie...Dusty is the standoffish type, she always chose to be alone and away from the other cats, she enjoyed sleeping alone in the bedroom away from everyone. She has been looking around, but she seems to be okay. However, Sassie and Milo were loves. They were always cuddled together and grooming each other. They'd sleep together at night. Sassie is only 4, and she's been showing many signs of grieving. I spend as much time as I can with her, but she's searching for Milo every night. She was already searching and "meowing" for Precious, and now Milo is gone too. That is a terribly heartbreaking thing to see. 

I have been feeling very angry lately, I keep feeling like this isn't fair, but I know life isn't meant to be fair or easy on you. I just don't know how to handle both losses in such a short time. To me these kitties are like family members, and I know most of you feel the same way. Have any of you felt so angry about a loss? I've read this is part of grieving, but I don't like feeling so mad. I am usually pretty laid back. It's a lot of hurt and heartache mixed with anger.

I miss you & love you dearly, my sweet Milo. My heart hurts.
mymilo1.jpg 

 

Quote 0 0
JRsMom
Susie,

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart ached for you as I read your words, and for Sassie, too. To lose two beloved pets, in such a short time, is incredibly difficult and terribly unfair. We all feel a range of emotions when we lose our dear pets - kitties, dogs, bunnies, or horses. They are our family and to have to go on without them seems unbearable.

I lost my beautiful Arabian horse JR on September 10th. The four week/one month mark came this past week. I am right back to where I was emotionally when he first passed - desperately hurt, sad, lonely, depressed, and crying until I can't breathe. And I'm angry. Not about JR's passing. I know I did everything I could for him and his vet did, too. But I am angry at everything else. I lose my patience much more easily. I can't stay focused on anything for very long. I have to move on to something else. It's like there's an undercurrent of anger, and that surprises me because it's not like me.

Anger is a part of the process, and I just wanted you to know you are not alone. 

Sending good thoughts for you that you find comfort, healing, and peace.

JR's Mom




Brooke
Quote 0 0
Mistysmama
I think we sometimes feel anger because we would have done anything to protect them, and for us to have stayed together and been happy -and then some 'force' comes along and snatches them from us! We just want to kill that force! I guess it is natural to feel all sorts of emotions with grief, and anger can be one of them.

I never felt anger when Misty was with me. I was just balanced and happy. When she passed, I didn't feel angry either. Then one day about 5 months after she had passed I was trying to fix a mini-oven. It wouldn't fix, and was very frustrating. Then all of a sudden I saw 'red' with it, and beat the thing so hard with a tea-towel. I just couldn't stop hitting it with that towel until I was exhausted, and just crying my heart out for missing my girl. That was the only single time I felt the anger but it was overpowering for about 10 minutes. Since then I haven't felt it.
I ended up laughing at myself afterwards, but I know it was natural, and I couldn't help it.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
Quote 0 0
Susie
JRsMom, I'm very sorry that you lost your sweet horse. The pain is just indescribable, and some days it gets much, much worse. The anger that you described is what I've been dealing with. I'm very short tempered, and I've never been like this. It does feel like an undercurrent of anger to me too. I know it will pass, but this is a stage that is difficult to deal with. I don't want to be angry and so frustrated, I just want to be okay. Thank you so much for showing me that you're dealing with the same thing. I hope you're having a better day today. Thoughts and prayers, and peace your way. 

Mistysmama, That is so true, about us doing anything to protect our furbabies. That mini-oven story actually made me tear up, because I understand where you're coming from. And it's so good that you can look back & laugh at it. I guess it was a pretty silly scene after the fact. I'm sure I'm approaching something like that, I hope it's the toaster oven because it never works right! Thank you for the laugh, I really needed it. 

It has been a very tough week. It feels like such a heavy weight to carry. I miss you so much, my sweet kitties. 
Quote 0 0