milosmommy
I still can't wrap my head around this. Just two days ago you were here with us. Everything seemed so normal. You woke me up in the morning for breakfast, like you usually do. You were purring and meowing like you always did.

We took my 3 year old cat to the vet on Monday morning because the previous night it seemed like he had maybe a urine infection or something. He had peed on our dogs bed-never done that before. He was going into the litter box every few minutes trying to urinate and nothing was coming out. We took him to the vet in the morning. The vet originally scheduled us for a 3pm appointment. Then they called and said they could get Milo in at 9:45 instead so we took that.

With the COVID restrictions, we cannot go inside the vet with our babies so the vet tech comes to the car and carries them out. The tech came to get Milo. 5 minutes later we received a call from the vet. She told us that Milo was in very bad condition. He had a seizure and he had passed away. I felt like my soul left my body. It felt like some crazy nightmare and it still does. I just can't understand how it happened so quickly or why it happened. We thought they would just check his bladder, give him some medication and we would be heading home but instead it turned into the worst day of my life. 

I wonder if God had a plan and it was to get us in to the vet early so that he didn't have to pass away at home but I just feel so guilty. My Milo trusted me to take him to the vet and keep him safe, and I failed him. He went in and never came out. The vet said it was possible that he had an underlying heart condition but how was this never noticed before? Had I missed something? Did the vet miss something? Did I not take him to the vet as often as I should? I keep reliving that horrible phonecall in my head and seeing his sweet face. I wasn't with him when he left us and I feel like I abandoned him. 

I see him everywhere in my house and his littermate is constantly searching for him. I can't sleep alone. Sleeping is my only escape from this pain, yet the reality hits whenever I wake up. I look in his favorite tower and his favorite hammocks and would do anything to see him again. He was just a baby. He deserved to live a long, happy life with us. It's just not fair and I don't understand why this happened.

I don't know what to do with myself. He was my sunshine. The sweetest baby boy ever. A piece of my heart is missing.
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MaxsMom2
You’ve put into words exactly how Im feeling. Max wasn’t doing going for a couple days. He had a history of pancreatitis and chronic IBS. When he was vomiting and going diarrhea I took him to the vet right away. They gave him meds, he started whining once he came out of the vet and they had given him pain meds. The crying didn’t stop so I took him back the next day. They said he had an obstruction and would need surgery right away. Given the fact that he had swallowed several bones in his life I thought it’s what happened again. He went into emergency surgery on Friday. We got a call at noon from the surgeon. She said she had never seen so much scar tissue in her life, she said the scar tissue essentially was preventing food from passing. There was no way to remove it all, but even if she did remove it, it would form quickly again. She said he would have either died painfully from septic shock or an obstruction rather quickly. There was no alternative. I asked if he could be brought home for a few days or a week. She said the pain was so severe that even pain meds would have not worked to make him comfortable. I keep wondering how he survived so long with this condition, with this pain. I reply it back in my mind a thousand times to what I could have or should have noticed earlier on. What intervention could I have made early on to have prevented this? 
Laraine Esposito 
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CK1991
I’d like to offer my deepest condolences to both of you, Milo and Max’s mom. It’s so normal to look back and wonder what you could have done differently. It’s hard to make sense of these very sad losses. Just so unfair! I will tell you that the pain will ease eventually and happier memories will start coming back to you. However, take the time to grieve so that in time you can heal. Milo and Max both knew that they were loved. Please take comfort from that. Hugs to you both!
CK
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JulieF
Milo's mommy - I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how hard it is.  5 weeks ago I had to put my 19 year old cat, Patch, down (I prefer "give him back to God for safe keeping until I can see him again") because of advanced kidney disease.  Because of COVID I could not be with him and I felt guilty for a long time.  But in the end, I had to remember that I did what was best for him and put him out of pain.  In your situation, please do not be hard on yourself.  You did everything you could for him and took him to the vet as soon as you realized something was wrong and there was nothing else you could have done.  It stinks, but sometimes these things just happen.  You sound like you are a very responsible pet parent and I am certain you took excellent care of him.  Try to find comfort in the fact that you gave him 3 great years of his life - he had lots of love.  You are going to feel guilt for a while because that is natural - it is part of grief.  I felt guilty for several days after I put my boy down - that was my heart missing him.  My brain told me I did what was right for him and did the best I could for him.  You found the right place - everyone here knows exactly how you feel.  In a few days, gradually, you will start to feel better.  I have my boy's ashes in a box that I keep on his favorite chair.  I still talk to him and pet him.  

Just take care of yourself - let yourself grieve and cry it out.  You did nothing wrong - everything right - but sometimes things just happen we have no answers for.

Bless you and hugs.
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JulieF
Max's mom - I am so sorry for your loss.  It must have been so hard to hear those words about your sweet  baby but you also did everything you could for him.  You made the best decision for him.  Unfortunately our pets can't talk to tell us they are in pain and all we can do is the best we can for them.  Again, I am sure you were a good pet parent who took your baby to the vet and did everything you could to see to their welfare.  The scar tissue just escaped everyone's notice - it sounds like, short of doing surgery, there was no way to detect it.  He is out of pain now.  Remember all the wonderful times you had together and don't feel guilty for anything.

Bless you and hugs.
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