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BEllomom22

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
II am 46 years old. I loss my baby Bello my cat last Tuesday, he was 6 years in human years and the online image says 41 in cat years , it was so pain cause it was all of a sudden death and no signs of him being I'll at all that day or night. He came in my jewelry room where I was and I acknowledge him and let him know mommy got to finish these bracelets baby I can't hold you right, mommy will soon as I'm done. So he left out and my niece called me and 2 mins in the conversation I heard a loud plop and I looked and Bello flipped over on his back I told my niece to hold on as I screamed Bello name trying to make sure he was ok. I tried to put my finger in his mouth thinking he was choking but nothing helped as I was holding my precious Bello in my arms against my chest I could feel his life slipping away I screamed for my husband and he didn't know what to do I looked into Bello eyes and begged him not to leave me and kept telling him mommy loves you sooooo much please dont leave me baby. Then begging God to please dont take my baby away please save him. Bello had and still has my heart. I held him and didn't want to let him go I could still feel a heartbeat and that gave me soooooo much hope I begged my husband to please can we rush him to the hospital my husband kept saying El Bello gone baby he gone all i could do is hold him scream rock and cry cry cry . My husband sometimethrugh the wee hours got me to put him in his bed and he kept trying to get me to go to bed around 2 I think in the morning not sure nothing worked I did not want to leave my Bello as long as he was still breathing or had a heartbeat or was warm. I still wanted to be with my baby I just couldn't believe out of no wheres no sign that my baby was fine one minute and gone the next. It hurt like hell. A hurt I has never experienced with a pet and family member before. I loved my baby with everything inside me . He would come and put his paw on me everyday and try to wake me up and then lay on me and sleep until I did he would wait outside the shower waiting on me. He loved being in my arms and I loved him being in my arms. He was my Christmas present the first year and Christmas me and my husband got married. He was sooooo special to me since day one . Now I feel half of my heart is gone and I dont know how to get it back. I have had animals since I was a little girl but never a relationship like me and Bello .😭😭😭😭 He loved to play tag, peekaboo, hide and seek . I'm like what cat does this I had never seen this before. He was so compassionate and affectionate and unconditional love. I have almost died from abuse before and I suffer with anxiety depression and PTSD so Bello comforted me and made me feel.so loved wanted and needed. He was the most loving cat I had ever know. Animals are drawn to me anyways since I was little but I love Bello as if i birth him I always told him this too. I also suffer with abandonment and rejection issues Bello always let me know he cares and love me. I miss his head buts kisses love affection and unconditional love soooooo much. And all his little unique ways. My husband is allergic to pet fur but He loved Bello and Bello loved him too!!! Please pray for me this is so hard I can't get the way he died out my head I feel.like did I miss something if he wasn't in my jewelry room that he might still be alive. He had been in that room with me soooooo many more others times. So my husband thinks it was his time. So itsssss so hard cause soon as my husband got me to lay down for maybe 10 minutes I got up to lay by Bello and he was turning cold and their was no doubt my baby was gone but Why ??????? I grabbed the Bed held it in my arms with him in it and screamed and cried πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ’” my heart was shattered. That morning around 8 he had begun to smell and my husband said El we gotta bury him so we did. I had to keep the little boy I keep but my husband did it for me and let me grieve later when the baby left we made a cross for him wrote on it and made something with is name on it and his bell on his thing I can't think straight right now the thing around the pet's neck. We had a small intimate ceremony for our Bello and said how we felt. It was heart wrenching for me. My husband misses him too but not like me. Please help.me people keep telling me to get another cat but it wont be the same I want my Bello back that's my main conversation and words that comes out my mouth alot every day. I dont eat like I used to I cry alotttt my body aches and hurts so much I know my life isn't the same without my baby in it. My husband was and is heartbroken for me he dont know what to do. He stayed home from work 3 days with me. I put up some pics to show you the connection we had , he made sure we always knew he was apart of the family too. One day me and my husband was on the couch holding hand Bello gets up and lay on me and put his paw on top of our hands . I melted all over again like butter. I misssssssssssssss him soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!! Help me please!!!
Sincerely El Hendrix πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

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CK1991

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Posts: 577
Reply with quote  #2 
My dear Elizabeth, I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Bello was such a special little one and you shared a beautiful bond together. It’s very, very painful having to let go especially when he was only 6 years old. It’s so unfair! I tend to agree with your husband. I think that we all have a time when we will leave this earth and move to the next world. That includes our precious fur babies of course. People mean well when they tell you to get another cat but you need to grieve Bello before you are ready to move ahead. When I say move ahead though, I’m not saying you’ll ever forget or stop missing your beloved Bello. At some point things will slowly start to get better. Right now I would cry as much as you need to and if you can talk to someone about Bello I think it will be helpful. Maybe someday when you feel like you can open your heart again you’ll be ready to get another cat but for now allow yourself to grieve. Thank you for sharing all of these beautiful pictures!! They really show what a handsome cat Bello was and even more so how much you loved each other. I’m so sad for you! I know how hard it is losing a little fur baby. I hope you post again. This is a good place to express all the sadness you’re feeling in your heart. Hugs to you!
CK
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Mistysmama

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Posts: 1,749
Reply with quote  #3 
Elizabeth, I too am so sorry for your loss and your pain right now. Bello is such a beautiful and special soul. He has incredible intelligence and spirituality. I can see that in his face, and the way he is with you.

Because he left so quickly with no warning you are suffering with shock right now as well as grief.
My heartfelt kindest thoughts sent out to you, and to Bello's lovely Soul. He will ALWAYS love you, and will not forget you. I know that.
Many blessings.

__________________
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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