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ChihuahuaMom
Your Youtube bought tears to my eyes...what a wonderful way to remember you baby, he's beautiful.  the Chihuahua that you see on my shrine is actually an urn I had made.  It comes in white resin and you can either have the Etsy seller have their person paint it for you or you can find someone else (or so they told us when we purchased it.)

Here is the link to the Etsy seller we purchased from:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/RainbowbridgeGB?ref=search_shop_redirect
They are based out of the UK, so it takes a while to get it once you purchase it (if you live in the states) and a bit longer if you let them paint it (which we did.) We just sent them a ton of pictures of my Bandit as well as video clips.

I ended up keeping his ashes in the lovely chest they came in because I am not strong enough to see them yet and transfer them to his new urn 🙁
Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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ChihuahuaMom
I know I haven't posted in some time. I've been in a pretty bad state. My severe depression plus the weight of the grief and fault I feel for losing my child has really taken it's toll. Today marks 7 months since we were torn apart, yet it still feel like yesterday. I still talk to him several times a day, kiss his urn, cuddle with it and send prayers his way in desperate hope that he can hear me. i feel like I am being more reclusive than I normally am and that's saying a lot. My husband reminds me that there is no timeline on grief so that I don't feel like I should have accepted this by now (which I am no where near doing.)

I don't know what I'm doing any more. Everything just seems pointless without him with me.

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Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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ChihuahuaMom
I'm not sure where to start with how I've been feeling lately.  Maybe 'alone' is a good word to describe it.  At this moment I'm thinking that I can't believe it's almost July, my birthday month. If Bandit were still with me, I would know that I have about two months left on this earth with my son (if it were last year). I still have no desire to really be around anyone or to let anyone in on how I'm feeling.  When I talk about it or think about it, in my mind it's as though it just happened.  I'm standing still and everyone else is moving very fast all around me.

I also have this feeling that I'm not supposed to talk about him as much as I still do. No one has told me that and I know it's not true, it's just this feeling that all anyone hears from me is how much I miss my son and how much I wish I were with him. His 15th Birthday came and went with little said just the aching feeling of me dying a little bit more inside.  I talk to him, pray to him and try to listen for him everyday.  I visit his shrine everyday and hope that he can hear my voice. I still have no fear of death since he has passed and pray that everyday might be my last.

I've been in a deep depression for some time now. Some days are a bit better than others, but that's about it. I pray to be reunited with him.  I look through his pictures and watch videos of him wishing I could just pull him out through the screen.  

So this is me, reaching out to you. I feel so alone and desperate.  Can someone take my hand and tell me that you're there or there's a chance I could get stronger? Please?

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Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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Runningman66

Sending you lots of love and hugs.A very powerful post.I’m where you are right now.I don’t laugh or smile anymore and people now avoid me as I’m constantly miserable.Like yourself I’m still getting the dark thoughts like do I want to go on living without my Coco as each day I rise is a battle with my mind.I try not to look at any pictures or videos of him as that just makes me worse so could help you not to look at his pictures until you feel better and try to find things to do just to occupy yourself.I have a job which helps to a certain extent but it’s a lonely job driving so I’m even thinking of him doing that all day.Try to stay strong as we are all with you🙏🏻

Love  Runningman xx

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Ralphie
Dear Chihuahuamom and Runningman,

I could have easily written the same words. It has been 7 1/2 months since my chihuahua had to leave me. Everyday is a struggle as I fight back the tears wherever I am. Driving down roads that we once drove on together is awful and today was no exception. Some of those roads were his last with me. I wish I could erase it from my mind but no matter how busy I try to keep myself, I cannot forget and know now that I never will. I wish just like you that I could leave this world and be with my little boy again. There is no joy at all in this life and since I live alone, it is that much harder. There is nothing keeping me here, nothing to live for. I go through the motions everyday and ask myself why. I wish we could find peace somehow.... Ralphie 1D.jpg 
RLM
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ChihuahuaMom
I know there is nothing I can say to ease these feelings that you are having, as I feel much the same.  All I can say is maybe we just try to to be there for each other and hold each other up when we can.  Since my sweet Bandit has left, I can honestly say that I have zero fear of death.  Where there may have been some fear or worry before, it can't come soon enough for me now.
Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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GEMINIXX69
Bandit's Mommy,  I do understand how you feel and I wish I had the right thing to say, but I guess there is no right thing.  It's a heartbreak like no other. In due time we will all be with our loved ones again. This is the main thing that helps my hurting heart.  I miss our Minnie so much I can't function at times. Your Bandit is adorable and one of a kind. I am looking forward to when we can all see our angels again. Take care...
Linda L.
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chilover
ChihuahuaMom 

I can totally relate to your pain and it breaks my heart to read what you are going through. Bandit was your furbaby, your son & your bond with him was so incredibly strong & it is only natural that you need to talk about your boy (& for as long as you wish) to express your love of him & talk about the wonderful memories which you both shared with one another & we on this forum understand that & will support you always. You will always have this forum to talk about your beautiful Bandit for as long as you wish. I also have no desire to be around anyone, although when I do I always mention Daisy in conversation because she was my world & I need people in my life to remember her. I always feel as if I need to 'feed my soul' with the company of other pet grieving parents & also feel like I am still, & that everyone around me is moving very fast. It is a very lonely feeling. Every day I have to have my Chihuahua 'Daisy' involved in my life somehow, whether it be going to church to pray, sit & reminisce & cry, talk to her, fill out her scrapbook/research project, call  a petloss number & visit this forum. I listen to my instincts & they tell me that I  need to grieve & purge from time to time in order to heal & so long as it pours out of me I tell myself that I am healing & I believe you will too. Reading some stories on this forum about how people have survived gives me some hope that there is light, even if it sometimes feels like the world will always be in darkness. You are not alone and I believe that Bandit will hear you when you talk to him.

Please take care of yourself, you were a wonderful, kind, caring mom to your Bandit. You & Bandit will be in my prayers when I next visit my church.

Runningman & RLM.
Thinking of you both. We were all so blessed as were our babies to experience such love...

Sending comfort & peace
Daisy's mummy 
Angelina 
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ChihuahuaMom
Mommies sweet baby boy, I will love you always. You will never be replaced.

Bandit's mommy

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5/14/2005-9/26/2019
May we meet again soon my sweet baby
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chilover
ChihuahuaMom 

I understand how you miss your boy & how he can  never be replaced...The pictures of him with his toys melt my heart & I believe he is running free happy & playing. He is probably playing with my Daisy. I have heard on more than one occasion how Chihuahua's recognise one another, maybe it is because of their tiny stature when most other dogs are so much larger than them. It is my Daisy's 1st yr anniversary on Sunday. I will be alone for it  but prefer this..

Sending you peace & comfort & you & your beloved Bandit are in my thoughts.
Hugs

Daisy's mummy
Angelina 
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Baileysbro
I get you, there are times......
Bailey
October 31, 2002 - April 19, 2016 10:25 P.M.
My best friend, my companion, my love

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[Paws-for-the-News-Grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet] 
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