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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #16 
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Originally Posted by MichelleKinkaid
Hi Jackie,
Thank you. It will be 3 weeks this Thursday for me too (realizing it will be July 4th of all days) and I feel the same ... that this isn't real ... it can't be ... he is just away ... or outside and I can't find him right now. Everything was so sudden for me ... no warning ... at least none that I was aware of. I search in my mind for things that maybe I missed ... was there some sign and I missed it? Did he try and let me know and I didn't see it? There are a million questions running around in my head but the bottom line is that my Rocky is no longer here with me. There is a huge hole in my life and my heart. The emptiness is overwhelming. I walk around calling his name and saying "I don't believe that you're not here".

I'm so sorry that you are going through the same thing ... in what looks like the same time frame. 
Hugs to you too,
Michelle


Hi Michelle,

Ugh I get it. I so wish we both didn't understand this at all. I try to look for the signs too. Now I'm starting to think his endless amounts of affection could have been a sign. He was a very affectionate kitty but I heard when they don't feel well its more. Typically when he didn't feel well he wanted to lay with me on the couch. That didn't happen. Not sure if I had to time to let it happen. He didn't do the upside down pineapple cake that James nicknamed it since October. Well that's the last picture we had of it. Honestly the last nine months have been a blur because of our baby daughter. I feel like I didn't give him the attention he may have needed because of our baby girl. It breaks my heart. He was my baby boy. 

I feel the same...bottom line...they're not longer physically with us. And that's what gets me the most. Knowing his little body is no longer whole. It destroys me.

I look out the back doors to our creek and talk to Bubby a lot too. I say I'm still here bud. If you need me, Mommy will always be here. 

Thursdays will never be the same 😢

Hugs,
Jackie

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Jenniferhiggs1221

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Reply with quote  #17 
Michelle..sorry you are still grieving your rocky so much.i also am missing my reeses(also orange tabby) like CRAZY!!tomorrow will be a whole month since he passed and i cant believe it..i miss my baby so much and still hurt for him like it was just yesterday..i just pulled in driveway getting home from work and was thinking..if reeses was here hed b stretched out in the driveway waiting for me to get home..and it hurts me evertime i have to pull in and know he wont be there anymore.still so hard to believe..about the litter box..i just got up the nerve to throw his away yesterday..he hadnt even used it since last time id changd it..he had just been going outside. But i didnt wanna get rid of it yet..but i knew last night there was no need for me to keep it..so i threw it out..then got sad right after looking at the empty spot that was his for so many years
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MichelleKinkaid

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Reply with quote  #18 
My dear sweet love cat Rocky,
It is three weeks today since I last held you, petted you, kissed you, talked to you. It's July 4th and I don't want to celebrate ... there is no joy without you here. I still expect you to be there next to me when I wake up ... or waking me up because you want me to get up and feed you and let you go outside for a bit. Rocky you were definitely one-of-a-kind. It was you and me ... together ... just us! You were such a beautiful cat ... a loving cat ... my cat! Rocky ... I can't believe you are not here with me ... seems impossible ... like a bad dream. I prayed with all my heart that you would be ok ... but it didn't happen. For some reason you were taken from me ... I cry and wonder what I did wrong ... why were you be taken from me? What did I miss? I would have done anything for you.  My heart is so broken, I miss you all the time.
I love you my sweet little love cat!
xoxo
M
00-20190315_152157-Rocky in yard-head shot-CROP2-SMALL2.jpg


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Michelle Kinkaid
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #19 
Beautiful photo of Rocky! I love the two yellow flowers. Rocky reminds me of my husbands first orange kitty, Simba. Both so handsome 😻

Sending you tons of hugs!
Jackie

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MichelleKinkaid

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Reply with quote  #20 
Thanks ... I think he's handsome too and he was such a good, loving boy. I'm sure your husband's Simba was a sweetie too. ♡
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Michelle Kinkaid
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #21 


Hi Michelle,

What a gorgeous photo of your Rocky. He was a handsome lad indeed. And as I've written to others, you can easily see the "Knowingness" in his eyes. There is a strong presence within him in that photo image. Thank you for sharing it with us. It is beautiful!

Like so many here I feel exactly the same way that you do. Every single day and night I walk around where Marmalade and I resided and I can believe that any of this is real. It is SURREAL. I can simply not wrap my mind around the fact that he is not here any more, and that I will never, not ever, see him again! I'm 7 weeks in as of yesterday and still completely devastated. 

XO,
James
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Jenniferhiggs1221

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Reply with quote  #22 
Michellekinkaid
I feel the same way about my Reeses.its was a month wednesday since i had to say goodbye and am still so sad and miss him soooo much..i was so mad at the fact i had to say goodbye to him and kept wondering what i did for that to happen..i wouldve done anything to help him and sure tried..i had so much anger in me for the longest time after and just didnt understand why it happened..he was the best cat ever and loved me just as much as i loved him.he didnt do anything to deserve what he went through.as the weeks went by i got tired of hating everybody for what happened to my baby..and tried to start thinking about the good times i had with him everyday and how happy he made me being in my life..and even though i get angry going back thinking about all the bad stuff again..i try to push them thoughts away and remember him happy
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MichelleKinkaid

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Reply with quote  #23 
Thank you Jennifer ... I have anger, hurt, guilt, frustration, sadness and they keep rotating around and around. I have such trouble accepting the fact that my Rocky is not here with me. I feel like he's just hiding somewhere and will come out soon to eat or want me to open the door for hin to go outside. How I wish he was still here with me. I try to think of the good times and funny things he did and that works for a bit but then the image of him in distress pops back into my head and makes me sad all over again. Our loyal and loving companions (Rocky, Reeses, Marmalade, Bubby/Milo, Simba, and all the others are so terribly missed by us. I thank you all for the compassion and support at this painful and sad time. 00-20180612_175257-Rocky-bed+Copy-SMALL2.jpg 

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Michelle Kinkaid
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #24 

Dear Jackie,

"Now I'm starting to think his endless amounts of affection could have been a sign. He was a very affectionate kitty but I heard when they don't feel well its more."

Same here. Marmalade was purring WAY to loudly his final months. It was obvious, but I just thought he was being affectionate and sweet. But looking back he was clearly in distress and trying to make himself and I feel better by putting out sweet vibes. I did finally take that into consideration in the end with my final decision after reading on-line that at times cat's will purr louder or be more clingy as their healths fail.

Dear Michelle,

I feel the exact same was honey. I love all of the cats others have shared here. I feel I know them all now in some way. Your Rocky sure was regal, noble and a handsome fellow. And such a "Snug Bug Rug" as I used to call Marmalade at times. : )

I thank all of you out there too, for being here, sharing your stories and feelings so openly and supporting everyone the way that you do. It's truly helping me to try and keep moving forward.

XO,
James
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #25 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleKinkaid
Thank you Jennifer ... I have anger, hurt, guilt, frustration, sadness and they keep rotating around and around. I have such trouble accepting the fact that my Rocky is not here with me. I feel like he's just hiding somewhere and will come out soon to eat or want me to open the door for hin to go outside. How I wish he was still here with me. I try to think of the good times and funny things he did and that works for a bit but then the image of him in distress pops back into my head and makes me sad all over again. Our loyal and loving companions (Rocky, Reeses, Marmalade, Bubby/Milo, Simba, and all the others are so terribly missed by us. I thank you all for the compassion and support at this painful and sad time. 00-20180612_175257-Rocky-bed+Copy-SMALL2.jpg 


Michelle,

I’m with you. I feel like Bubby is on vacation. A very long vacation. It just doesn’t seem real. Maybe it’s because I think he was too young for this all. I’ve heard of kidney failure in 16-17 year old kitties but 9? Just doesn’t seem right. In the end, he got dealt a bad hand of cards in the kidney department. I’m sure they were never functioning probably from birth.

I too have those same issues. I try to think of the good memories then I get a bad one. One from his final week. Today has been a pretty gloomy day for me. Not sure why. I’m just pretty bummed about him not being here. But like you, I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other.

Thank you for being here during this difficult time along with everyone else. I think we can all say we’re fans and members of the “Orange Boys Club” as James said! 🧡🧡

Hugs,
Jackie

PS Rocky is so handsome! Quite the photogenic one 😻

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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #26 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Jackie,

"Now I'm starting to think his endless amounts of affection could have been a sign. He was a very affectionate kitty but I heard when they don't feel well its more."

Same here. Marmalade was purring WAY to loudly his final months. It was obvious, but I just thought he was being affectionate and sweet. But looking back he was clearly in distress and trying to make himself and I feel better by putting out sweet vibes. I did finally take that into consideration in the end with my final decision after reading on-line that at times cat's will pur louder or be more clingy as their healths fail.

Dear Michelle,

I feel the exact same was honey. I love all of the cats others have shared here. I feel I know them all now in some way. Your Rocky sure was regal, noble and a handsome fellow. And such a "Snug Bug Rug" as I used to call Marmalade at times. : )

I thank all of you out there too, for being here, sharing your stories and feelings so openly and supporting everyone the way that you do. It's truly helping me to try and keep moving forward.

XO,
James


James,

I feel so stupid sometimes. Like I knew this about cats. I mentioned this to my coworker years ago when her kitty had a tumor in its sinuses. Love is blind I guess? Maybe I didn’t want to see it? Not sure. I just hope Bubby wasn’t in serious pain. He didn’t act like he was.

Our orange boys sure did love us to tough it out for us! 🧡🧡

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MichelleKinkaid

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Reply with quote  #27 
My Rocky's cat box ...
I have an automatic raking cat box (originally got it because our dog, who passed in 2013, used to go into the regular cat box and get the "treats" out) ... and this box automatically rakes the sand about 10 minutes after the cat has triggered the motion eye -- it has periodically gone off now about 4 or 5 times that I am aware of. I wonder if it is Rocky sending me a sign ... I'd like to think so as there is nobody else here. It's just me alone now and the silence is very lonely. I go over to my sister's house as she has a few cats and I can pet them and just be there with them. It helps a bit but then I come back home and my Rocky is not here to hold, talk to, kiss, sleep next to and just be with me. Oh how I miss my little love cat.

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MichelleKinkaid

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Reply with quote  #28 
(rk) 010-Rocky bed-back-CROP&SMALL.jpg 

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Jenniferhiggs1221

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Reply with quote  #29 
MichelleKinkaid
I know what you mean about the litter box thing..very shortly after i lost mu Reeses..it had been one little cat turd in the box on the very corner..almost the side of the box because he mainly went outside but if he was in hed use his box..well a few days after he passed..i noticed it completly moved and immediatly thougt it was him giving me a sign..so of course i didnt throw it out..and would look at it every morning to notice maybe every two or three days that one little turd would be moved enough i would notice..almost like he would come in and use it..or try to cover it up.it eventually went all the way as far aa could go to the whole other side..then it just stayed thay way for about two weeks..i eventually had to come with terms of throwing it out..and knew mu husband had been understanding about me still having it this long..so maybe a day or two before the month date of his passing..july 3 i had to eventually on my own throw his litterbox away..it was hard even though it just a box..it was still his and felt like another step i was taking that he wasnt here anymore..but i knew i couldnt keep that forever and the movement in it had stopped.i just hoped he would have another way to send me a sign.that was the only thing of his i have to throw away and have put evertything else of his in a trunk i bough just for that reason..every so often..i come across more of his things lying around the house and get so sad but put them up in the trunk..so maybe your Rocky is sending you a sign too with his litter box
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #30 


I do believe in the cat litter theory. That there can be "signs" associated with it. Even subtle ones. It's an important part of each cat's lives. And I feel the same way. I have not thrown out Marmalade's out yet. 

I heard a meow once again last night in the middle of the night. It's either a trill or a meow every every single night. Just one per night. 

Michelle, I LOVE that "Patented Pineapple Upside Down Cake" pose that Rocky is in, in the photo you just shared. Beyond adorable! Now that is TRUE contentment! 

XO,
James
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