Juni2018

My heart is so broken that the pieces could pass through button hole. Last week he started coughing and hack. We took him to the vet and the xrayed him and it was his heart. He was having congestive heart failure. The vet gave me medicine to give him for the weekend to see if he would respond. We could not get the heart rate down. Sunday night it seemed like during the night he was had a couple of attacks. 

He was suffering. It was hard to see him that way. I took him back to the vet Monday morning and I had to make the decision to send him to Rainbow Bridge. I feel like the worse person in the world to do that to him. He loved his vet. He was happy then to see her. But he dropped 12 pounds in 4 days. She said there was nothing more that I could do for him. He was not alone when he passed. I was right there with my hand on him. God I feel horrible. 

He would have been 10 this coming October. He is a boxer. We did everything together. Truck rides, walks, I read to him on the front lawn, we watched football, baseball, racing and the world cup soccer. We had to stop the walks this past spring because of all the fires near my house and the smoke. 

But we would play together as much as he could take it in the house. He was my heart and spirit and now he is gone. I just want him back. I don't know how to deal with this.


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MAlcindor
I am so sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking and the grief is utterly paralyzing when we lose our fur companions. Nothing can prepare us for their departure and it is terrible when we have to make the decision to help them cross the bridge. I have never had to make that type of decision but I can only imagine the guilt that comes with it but you have to remember you made it out of the love you had for your boy, he was suffering and was not going to get better. The guilt is something we all feel regardless of how our babies pass, I think it's human nature to blame ourselves because they depend on us for everything. Everyone in this forum understands your pain as we have suffered the loss of our babies also. Continue to post here, it has helped me tremendously. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
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CK1991
Juni2018, I'm so sorry for your loss! It seems this all happened suddenly not giving you time to prepare mentally for losing your beloved pal. The fact he was losing so much weight so quickly would indicate something very serious and possibly painful. What you did by making that decision, as terrible as it is to have to make, is to save him suffering and you let him go with peace. You stayed with him. You did everything a loving pet parent should do when the time comes. With grief, unfortunately comes guilt but I want you to know that you did the best thing, the most loving thing for your best boy. Now comes the hardest part, having to go on without him. As MALcindor said we all understand here so this is a good place to come and read others' stories or post about how you are feeling when you feel low. Hugs to you!
CK
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Juni2018
ty all for your kind words. It is just hard.

I also got a condolence card from the vet today. It is a beautiful card. One day I will be hitting that bridge and the first thing that is going to come out of my mouth, I will be screaming out "Reno!!!"
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