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meganrose577

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #1 
My beautiful dog Scout, was just 4 months old when he left my boyfriend and me. He was adopted from a local shelter in the summer and he was the best dog we could've ever asked for. He was so smart, a Plott hound (we think, not really sure), with a funny attitude and a love for chewing everything (especially fingers). On my 21st birthday, just a few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went out for drinks with our friends. My family was in town so I asked my brother to stay at our apartment and watch him while we were away. I wish we had just left him alone, safe in his crate... About an hour after we left, I got a panicked call from my brother saying that Scout had been hit by a car. At the time we didn't know the level of damage, as my brother didn't tell me. As we rushed home, I frantically called a local vet clinic to schedule an appointment. I tried to be as helpful as possible, but I didn't know what kind of condition he was in. By the time we got home, he was already gone. I don't know if it was instant but I pray it was. I tried to pet his head and comfort myself and I felt his skull crushed in.. The thought of it still makes me want to vomit. We had recently bought him a harness, as he loved to chase after people and other dogs and would end up choking himself on his collar, but it didn't quite fit him yet so we tightened it as much as possible. Apparently, he slipped out of the harness and ran across the street where of course a car was. I cried for hours on the grass outside of our apartment where he was. I asked my brother who hit him but he said the driver never stopped and although he called the police, they never came. I will never understand why the driver didn't stop, I don't even know if it would have helped, but I wanted to see who did it so I could at least know.
I have been struggling so much with the grief of losing my sweet boy, we made a memorial for him and got him cremated, but my life just isn't the same without him.. I've been struggling a lot with feeling guilty for letting my brother watch him, and for buying him a harness that didn't quite fit him yet, and for not being there to ease him into the other side. I don't even know why exactly I'm typing all of this out other than to get my feelings out. I can't stop crying whenever I just randomly think about him or look at photos of him..
Scout, your time with us was way too short and I miss you so damn much. I cry about you every day thinking about the memories we never got to make. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you, and I hope you're happy wherever you are... Love Mom
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chilover

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Posts: 46
Reply with quote  #2 
meganrose577

I wish that I could take away your pain right now, I really feel for you & I hope that you have a good loving support network around you. One thing is for sure, you will get plenty of support here so please post whenever you feel you need to or want to.

Your Scout sounded like such a sweetie & I am sorry to hear that you are blaming yourself. Please don't, you were not to know that he was going to get free,let alone get hit by a car, it was not your fault! If you have read any of the other posts on here you will discover that many many blame themselves for the loss of their pets, whether it be accidental, natural causes or euthanasia, myself included, as I lost my dog 'Daisy' in August through euthanasia. Guilt is a big part of the grieving process & you are experiencing this right now, but please do not beat yourself up over this.

You are hurting deeply right now and there is no right or wrong way to grieve but to ride it through. Cry & do what you feel you need to do & stay connected to people who will support you.

It will take time, but you will heal!
Sending comfort & big hugs

Daisy's mummy
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carmensandiego

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #3 
My heart breaks for you. This must be so hard for you, for your brother. 

The driver should have pulled over and offered an apology. It could be the driver didn't even realize it. 

We always have our "woulda, shoulda, coulda" moments. I'm struggling with our surviving pup as family members have moved in with us temporarily. They are dog people but he likes to walk him. I'm so worried he's going to get out of his collar. We do have a harness but our family member isn't capable of maneuvering it. 

You have to give yourself time to grieve. It just wasn't meant to be at this time. It sounds awful but, like many people, there's a plan and time for all of us. My heart truly goes out to you both. I'm so sorry. 

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Sami's mom
Aussie 14 1/2 yr old female
Smarty pants and ruler of our home
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meganrose577

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #4 
chilover and carmensandiego, thank you both for your replies. It has been very hard to cope with everything that happened, mainly because it was so sudden and we thought Scout was going to grow old in our home... I am going to try to redirect my negative blaming thoughts with positive thoughts and memories of my sweet puppy in the future. Hopefully that will help. If you guys have any more "tips and tricks" for how to process the pain/grief, or even let me know how/if you found comfort in everything I would appreciate it, this is very new to me.
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Gingers_Mommy

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Posts: 124
Reply with quote  #5 
Your post hits home Megan, as I lost my fur baby when she was hit a car too. I know the pain and the feelings of guilt and the thoughts about the decisions we made and wondering if we had done this or that, things might have been different. The wondering who was driving too. It's all very recent for you. It's all still raw so all these thoughts are normal and part of the grieving process. There will come a point when you slowly start to shift to the good memories instead of his death. This is a great place to help you cope and heal as you write out your feelings and read the stories of other. The grieving process is different for all, but we are united in that we understand your pain.

Sending hugs your way💛
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Lu

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Posts: 29
Reply with quote  #6 
I'm so sorry this happened. Please don't blame yourself. You had your brother stay to try to keep your pup safe, your intentions were good. I lost my little dog unexpectedly and tragically three weeks ago and it is definitely still very hard. The "what ifs", and "wish I had"s are normal I am finding. So difficult mentally, though.  I still have haunting visions in my head but they have faded somewhat in the last few weeks and it has become easier to focus on happier memories.I know that probably seems impossible right now. I have very difficult moments where I miss her so much and just want her back. I put up her photos in the living room, by my bed and on the vanity mirror; sure not the same as having her around but I feel like it keeps her closer to me. I don't understand why these things have to happen to our sweet little pups. Again, I am so sorry. Be kind to yourself and try to rest as much as you can, grief takes a lot out of you. Hang in there. Hugs.
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chilover

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Posts: 46
Reply with quote  #7 
meganrose577

Hi..

It will be hard for a while but in time thing's will start to shift, and seem easier, but your precious Scout will forever be tucked up in your heart. There will come a time when the happy memories will start to appear instead of the sad ones..I lost my fur baby in August & although it's still early days I have noticed a couple of positive shifts. Somedays are easier than others but some are horrific leaving me feeling unable to function because of the tears.It comes in waves the grief & for each person it is different, the guilt seeming to be the most common. So whatever hits you just remember that it is because you are processing it..Just take your time with it & don't feel pressured..

For comfort I bought a lovely journal/scrapbook which is especially designed for dogs..I have known other pet people write their treasured memories & stick pictures in them which is what I am doing, it's a lovely part of a memorial to honour your pet. I also call a pet helpline to talk whenever I feel the need, so this may help you too & coming on here for support is helpful - we are all in this together & it's full of compassion & support! I also planted a flower and said a prayer for my furbaby, bought a heart shaped pendant with her name engraved & will be getting her initial tattooed all in honour of her, & I still have her blanklets, coats, food bowl, collar, harness & leash, her ashes & a few other things & will never EVER get rid of them! Although nothing will ever bring them back we can always do sweet things to honour them for being the most beautiful pure, loving perfect little bundles of sweetness that they were. And also, some people believe that their spirit is always around us...I hope that whatever you decide to do to help yourself heal will bring you comfort..

I hope you keep sharing and posting.

You are in my thoughts

Hugs

Daisy's mummy.
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carmensandiego

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #8 
Quote:
Originally Posted by meganrose577
chilover and carmensandiego, thank you both for your replies. It has been very hard to cope with everything that happened, mainly because it was so sudden and we thought Scout was going to grow old in our home... I am going to try to redirect my negative blaming thoughts with positive thoughts and memories of my sweet puppy in the future. Hopefully that will help. If you guys have any more "tips and tricks" for how to process the pain/grief, or even let me know how/if you found comfort in everything I would appreciate it, this is very new to me.


Time...it's all about time. My dog has been gone for 3months and the pain is less, but she was an older dog. You have a lot of factors--but again--give yourself time to grieve. And when you are ready to share your love and life with another pup, your heart will be that much bigger BECAUSE of Scout. 

So you aren't replacing Scout, you're sharing what he taught you. <3 

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Sami's mom
Aussie 14 1/2 yr old female
Smarty pants and ruler of our home
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f_defillo1

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #9 
Megan, so sorry for your loss. Just want to say Im praying for you and I went through a similar situation.

We lost our Jack Russell as he sneaked past my legs and through the door and chased a car. He bit the tire and his neck broke. This was 3 months ago. So many thoughts of guilt and sadness through my mind. Jack was my daughter's first puppy. She reminds me that because of me Jack is dead. I have learned.to cope with the guilt and the death by thinking of all the love we gave Jack and that it was imposible we prevent every hazardous situation.

About 3 weeks ago we welcomed a new pet in our home. This female maltese had spent some time with Jack and her owner gave it to us since she had 4 other puppies. At first it was tough since we compared her to Jack,but nownis getting better. She has helped ease our pain a bit. So take your time and hopefully later you will welcome another pet.
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Rosanne777

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Posts: 150
Reply with quote  #10 
I am so so sorry over the loss of
your precious dog.   Hopefully he did
not suffer any pain.
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meganrose577

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #11 
Update: it will be a month tomorrow since we've had our boy running around the apartment.. It's still been really hard, but it has gotten easier. I still miss him so much, but we've tried to find ways to memorialize him around our home. We made a shadow box with all of his favorite stuff, and I wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was for his short life. I'm also getting a tattoo in his honor in a few weeks, and I'm really excited to carry him on my body forever. We've talked about getting another dog, or maybe even a cat, because I have such a strong motherly instinct that has been voided since Scout passed, but I can't commit yet because I want to be sure that whatever dog we get next will be loved just as much as Scout was and I can't guarantee that just yet. I still get sad when I look at photos of our boy, but I'm usually able to think of a happy memory with each picture I see. I also talk to his ashes and kiss his photo before I leave the house most of the time, it just seems to help thinking that he can hear me.

Scout, I miss you so much.. I really hope you're happy wherever you are, we will never forget you or the happiness you brought to our home.
Love, Mom
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kristenharlow

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Posts: 18
Reply with quote  #12 
Thank you for sharing that. It's helpful to hear that it's gotten easier. My baby died a 17 days ago. I'm deeply depressed. Sometimes the pain is so deep it's like complete and total desolation. 
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meganrose577

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #13 
kristenharlow It definitely gets easier, you and I have very similar stories. I wish you the best in your grieving process. My best advice is to just remember your pup however you see fit. Nothing is crazy if it makes the process a little easier for you. Sending you hugs
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f_defillo1

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #14 
MeganRose it took us about 8 weeks to bring a new pet home. Even this pet we love very much I still remember my dog like if he was with us yesterday. The pain has eased a bit but after 90 days still hasnt gotten away. Accept a new pet when you feel ready. This new has brought alot of love to our family and we're forever grateful. Without Jack we would not have met Luna. God bless.
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meganrose577

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #15 
I'm trying really really hard to find any sort of good in this entire situation and I'm struggling a lot. I can't seem to figure out why something so horrible could happen to my sweet pup who never did anything bad in his life. Everyone always says "everything happens for a reason" but what the hell was the reason for this... What good can possibly come out of me losing basically my child?? Please someone help me understand... I miss my dog so much and I thought I was doing ok with coping but I've noticed a lot of recent waves of excruciating pain and tears.
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