I, along with many of you, are completely heartbroken and shattered over the loss of my fur-child. I adopted Poe when he was only 8 weeks old, we had an instant connection and he was my little cling on. That cat would follow me around the house and would be anywhere I was, no mater what I was doing. Poe grew up to be the most beautiful white and grey Maine Coon, with the biggest amazing personality. When I would pull into the driveway, he would be waiting at the door for me, and would jump up to headbutt my hands with his eyes closed and pure love expression. I have a full cell phone of about 2000 photos of him. hehe

I was worried about how strong our bond was, knowing that if anything happened to him I would be left devastated. My fear came true, this weekend. One moment he was fine, and the next he started throwing up and wouldn't eat. I brought him to his Vet the next morning and they preformed an x-ray, showing an intestinal intussusception, and surgery was done the next morning. I got my hopes up when they said he was recovering and I could take him home the next day.. but the next day came and he was declining fast. When I saw him he looked so bad, it haunts me. 

The doctors tried a few last things with him, but last night we had to make the decision to send him over the rainbow bridge. I feel good that we did everything medically possible to save him and get him back to me, but someone on the other side just had to have him.

I am a zombie, a shell of myself, and trying to keep myself peaceful knowing we did everything we could. But I am selfish, and I want him back and feel like I have been cheated and dealt the short end of the stick. Every time I walk into a room I make sure not to trip over him, and realizing he is not there hurts more than words.

Your Friend,
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Dear Sahavah,  I am so so sorry for your loss.  You did all you could and were a great mother to your kitty.  I do know your pain (wish I did not)  It's all the little things that get me.  Going to make my bed and my dog is not in the way, coming home nobody to greet me, thunder windy my 93lb labrador/newfoundland mix will no longer be on my lap.  Crying as i write.  You are not selfish, you are human.  I too want my baby back, but he was suffering so.  We make these choices and then they are so hard to live with.  In time I hope you will feel a little better. Reading the posts on this site I have gotten some nice words of encouragement.  And then sometimes I see people who are grieving for years.  I know I will always hold a place in my heart for Thatcher (my dog)  But i hope the pain eases soon.  I meditate and try praying to something to help my pain.   It works sometimes.  But sometimes  is better than no times.  
I hope that soon your pain and heart ache will ease.
Sending hugs
PS your baby is adorable
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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What a beauty Poe was! He looks so unique, with those long tufts of hair shooting from the ends of his ears like antennas, and his super-thick white lion mane, as if he is from another planet or something! Thank you for sharing Poe's photo and your and his story.

Please know that you are not alone. All of us here feel and can totally relate to your pain & suffering. I am sorry for your loss.

It is very admirable that you tried to save your beloved Poe. And he was brave and courageous to try and pull through the surgery. I had 2 surgeries performed on my cat "Marmalade" (an orange & white Tabby cat) and there were complications.

I always felt that surgeries can result in a decline in health for cats, and then I read one Vet's quote: "You treat one thing and it triggers something else." But I too was faced with it being a must to have the surgical procedures done. It was truly "a damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario.

I was always worried about my boy too. For the short time that I knew and tried to take care of him. 4.2 years. He had been a stray cat that I adopted in the high desert of New Mexico. He and I worked very hard to deal with his chronic health problems, that he had had most likely for years before our paths crossed. His first Vet thought he was somewhere around 13 years old. I had to put him to sleep too, as he was suffering so much.

I hope you continue to travel through time and continue to heal. Hour by hour, day by day.

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