csexton
Today was my first day back at my "normal" routine. As far as back to work, coming home, cooking supper. I hate it. I looked so forward to coming home and seeing Bug. I missed him all day at work & couldn't wait to see him. My husband always got off before I did so he would see him first, I'd always text and ask him "how is my baby?". Today, am day at work I did nothing but think about how when I got home he wouldn't be there to greet me. I didn't even want to come home. My heart hurts so bad. I just can't get over it. If I'd known at this time a week ago it would be my last night with him sleeping by my side I would have never let him go. I hate myself for what happened. I know it was an accident and I would have rather it been me that for hurt, but it still doesn't take away the guilt and pain. I just pray that he knows how much I love him and that is go to the ends of the world to have him back. I always told him " bug, I love you more & more everyday!" And my love for him continues to grow. I need to figure out how to cope, but I don't know where to begin. I can't just put my life on hold, I have a family to care for, a job to do, bulls to pay. It just all doesn't seem worth it without my best friend by my side.
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Mistysmama
I am so sorry. I know it feels so awful. I remember those early days and they were hard to get through. They were the reason for getting up in the morning....the reason we did anything.
Bug is gone from every-day life, but knows everything you do, and the depth of your love and bond, and may often walk beside you even though you might not be aware of that. Hugs and blessings from me and my dog Misty who has passed but who still 'walks beside me' many times.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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csexton
Mistysmama, I am sorry for your loss. I just pray you are right and that he does know how much I loved him. I wasn't at the vet with him when he passed, I had been there an hour before. I told him before I left I loved him and missed him one last time. I have tried to open up to the fact that he is with me, beside me, I am constantly looking for that sign. I hope to see one soon. Thank you for your kind words.
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