AbbyC

I can't say for certain that my pet cockatiel, Tenshi, is alive or not.  He went missing on Monday evening and I feel solely responsible.  We live near a wooded area where wild animals roam.  I've hiked the woods multiple times, put fliers in the mailboxes of every neighbor in my area.  I've posted fliers on street corners.  I've posted on all the missing pets sites and facebook pages.  I've signed up for pet Amber alerts.  Not even so much as a sighting of my baby yet.
Temperatures have already gotten into the 40's the past couple nights and are going to drop to near freezing tonight.  I don't want to give up hope...but at the same time, I know the odds of his survival are extremely slim.
My 11 year old daughter and I have gone through so much this year.  My boyfriend whom we lived with broke up with me in August, leaving me and my daughter devastated.  I was forced to stay with my mother as I haven't any money saved.  After about a week staying with my mother, and crying myself to sleep every night, my mother forced me out of bed and took me and my daughter to a pet store.  My daughter went straight to the cockatiel enclosure.  All the cockatiels ran away from her hand...except for one. 
We had no idea that we would be taking home a bird that day.  My daughter bonded instantly with this little bird and he fell asleep in her hand.  As I stood by my daughter, enjoying the moment with this little bird, I watched my mother walk to the register.  I didn't know what she was saying but I saw her pull out her credit card and hand it to the clerk.  I said to my daughter, "I think your grandma just bought this bird for you."  Her eyes widened and she said, "WHAT?!" and started to tear up.  I started to tear up too seeing the happiness on her face that had been long gone since my breakup.
Little Tenshi, which is Japanese for "angel", became so attached to us and we to him.  Since my daughter has been primarily staying with her father since my breakup, Tenshi became more attached to me.  Every evening after work, I would take him out of his cage and lay down in bed to watch TV.  He'd stroll around the bed exploring and then come up to my chest and lay there and close his eyes.  This was our nightly routine for nearly a month.  Some nights he would perch on my finger and I would hold him close to my face and whistle songs to him.  Everytime I did this, he would freeze and stare at me in wonder.  Whenever I had to get up to walk around the house, he'd be firmly planted on my shoulder.  If I left the room with him in his cage, he'd squawk and go crazy until I return.  Tenshi was my little ray of sunshine in these dark times of my life.
Monday evening, I was walking around the house with Tenshi on my shoulder.  I noticed that the pumpkin I had carved the night before was sitting in the kitchen and starting to wilt.  I thought it might last longer outdoors so I went to the front door.  The thought hadn't even occurred to me that Tenshi would leave my shoulder.  The second I opened the door, he flew off my shoulder into the yard.  I tried to catch him but he was too fast.  He turned the corner around the house and vanished.  I heard a few more chirps from him and then nothing.  I didn't even know what direction he flew.  My mom's house has a wooded area behind it and I figured he would have taken interest in that area.  I ran around the steep, muddy area in my pajamas whistling for him but no luck.  I searched and searched until the sun was completely down.  I was devastated.  How could I have been so thoughtless?!  The next day I called into work and spent the whole day hiking the woods, walking up and down our neighborhood, going door to door with fliers.  Eventually the sun went down again.  The quiet in my bedroom since Tenshi's escape has physically pained me.  I've barely slept...barely eaten.  All I can think is how I don't deserve to eat and be warm if my baby Tenshi can't.  He was my responsibility.  He trusted me to take care of him and it's not his fault that his curiosity got the best of him.  It was my fault that I didn't take proper precaution.  It's my fault that he's either suffering or dead right now.  My daughter is distraught as well but I think she has forgiven me however I don't think I can ever forgive myself.  I've had to leave my desk at work multiple times to go into the bathroom and cry or else I'd be crying in front of clients.  I just don't know what to do with all this heartbreak.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear AbbyC,

I am very sorry to read of what you are coping with.

Please do not give up hope and keep the faith. Although your bird was of a tropical breed, they CAN live in the wild in cold temperatures contrary to popular belief. Here in Southern California the temperatures do drop to below 40 degrees, and yet against all odds, there is a large tropical parrot population. Here is a link to some info about them below and how they made the Southern California area their home.

There are GIANT, very loud groups of parrots flying around. You can hear them gather together and they are beautiful! I would recommend putting a bird feeder outside and continuing to routinely call out for Angel. And do your whistling song. She may remember it and come back to you. I sincerely hope so.

I hope you and your daughter continue to hang in there, regroup and heal. You can easily read in your post what a caring, loving, sensitive, kind souls both of you are.

Kind regards,
James

https://californiaparrots.us/


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AbbyC
Thank you for your kind word, James.  I'm trying to hold on tight to what faith I have left...for Tenshi's sake.  He's just such a young bird who was hand-raised and has little/no survival instincts.  Plus he's nearly all white so he'll stick out like a sore thumb to predators above and below.  I'm so scared for him.  He's probably terrified, hungry, freezing, and exhausted.  We have a potential lead on him.  A neighbor down the street said she heard an unfamiliar chirp in her backyard so I'm going to check it out tonight.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up....but I'm praying I find him.
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StephanieW

Abby,

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know the heart break you're suffering from is made much more intense with the addition of guilt. The 'not-knowing' and 'should-of's are hard to escape in these circumstances but it's clear you are doing everything in your power to find Tenshi. He is so fortunate to have you as an owner. I can tell he is so loved.

My family has also lost a pet bird in nearly the same way. We all felt responsible and we were heart broken over the intense loss. It isn't easy and it will take time to forgive yourself. Remember to keep nourished and rest when you can, it sounds like you are working very hard and eating and sleeping makes a huge difference on how we cope and manage our emotions. Even if you may not want to.

Small birds sometimes turn up in backyards or porches. There's plenty of stories like that and we may never know if our babies flew to new owners.

Sending a warm and comforting hug to you.

sw
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JinglesMom
AbbyC wrote:

I can't say for certain that my pet cockatiel, Tenshi, is alive or not.  He went missing on Monday evening and I feel solely responsible.  We live near a wooded area where wild animals roam.  I've hiked the woods multiple times, put fliers in the mailboxes of every neighbor in my area.  I've posted fliers on street corners.  I've posted on all the missing pets sites and facebook pages.  I've signed up for pet Amber alerts.  Not even so much as a sighting of my baby yet.
Temperatures have already gotten into the 40's the past couple nights and are going to drop to near freezing tonight.  I don't want to give up hope...but at the same time, I know the odds of his survival are extremely slim.
My 11 year old daughter and I have gone through so much this year.  My boyfriend whom we lived with broke up with me in August, leaving me and my daughter devastated.  I was forced to stay with my mother as I haven't any money saved.  After about a week staying with my mother, and crying myself to sleep every night, my mother forced me out of bed and took me and my daughter to a pet store.  My daughter went straight to the cockatiel enclosure.  All the cockatiels ran away from her hand...except for one. 
We had no idea that we would be taking home a bird that day.  My daughter bonded instantly with this little bird and he fell asleep in her hand.  As I stood by my daughter, enjoying the moment with this little bird, I watched my mother walk to the register.  I didn't know what she was saying but I saw her pull out her credit card and hand it to the clerk.  I said to my daughter, "I think your grandma just bought this bird for you."  Her eyes widened and she said, "WHAT?!" and started to tear up.  I started to tear up too seeing the happiness on her face that had been long gone since my breakup.
Little Tenshi, which is Japanese for "angel", became so attached to us and we to him.  Since my daughter has been primarily staying with her father since my breakup, Tenshi became more attached to me.  Every evening after work, I would take him out of his cage and lay down in bed to watch TV.  He'd stroll around the bed exploring and then come up to my chest and lay there and close his eyes.  This was our nightly routine for nearly a month.  Some nights he would perch on my finger and I would hold him close to my face and whistle songs to him.  Everytime I did this, he would freeze and stare at me in wonder.  Whenever I had to get up to walk around the house, he'd be firmly planted on my shoulder.  If I left the room with him in his cage, he'd squawk and go crazy until I return.  Tenshi was my little ray of sunshine in these dark times of my life.
Monday evening, I was walking around the house with Tenshi on my shoulder.  I noticed that the pumpkin I had carved the night before was sitting in the kitchen and starting to wilt.  I thought it might last longer outdoors so I went to the front door.  The thought hadn't even occurred to me that Tenshi would leave my shoulder.  The second I opened the door, he flew off my shoulder into the yard.  I tried to catch him but he was too fast.  He turned the corner around the house and vanished.  I heard a few more chirps from him and then nothing.  I didn't even know what direction he flew.  My mom's house has a wooded area behind it and I figured he would have taken interest in that area.  I ran around the steep, muddy area in my pajamas whistling for him but no luck.  I searched and searched until the sun was completely down.  I was devastated.  How could I have been so thoughtless?!  The next day I called into work and spent the whole day hiking the woods, walking up and down our neighborhood, going door to door with fliers.  Eventually the sun went down again.  The quiet in my bedroom since Tenshi's escape has physically pained me.  I've barely slept...barely eaten.  All I can think is how I don't deserve to eat and be warm if my baby Tenshi can't.  He was my responsibility.  He trusted me to take care of him and it's not his fault that his curiosity got the best of him.  It was my fault that I didn't take proper precaution.  It's my fault that he's either suffering or dead right now.  My daughter is distraught as well but I think she has forgiven me however I don't think I can ever forgive myself.  I've had to leave my desk at work multiple times to go into the bathroom and cry or else I'd be crying in front of clients.  I just don't know what to do with all this heartbreak.
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Dear AbbyC,

I am so very sorry to hear that your beautiful bird Tenshi is missing. I did want to tell you not to give up hope, where there is love, there is hope, and you have so much love in your heart for your boy, and wherever he is, I am sure that he can feel that, even now. Please do not let that awful guilt that so many of us deal with get the best of you, this was so not your fault. You had absolutely no idea that when you opened the door for just one moment, that your birdie would go flying out. I also agree with James that your boy very well may be alive and well, and he may have joined another flock of birds because there is strength in numbers, and they know that, their survival instinct is ingrained deep within them, and there is absolutely no way that any time of domestication would ever take that away. I suppose that is why so many cats are able to live outside and on the streets, because they join up with feral colonies and if they are sick they know not to even show any weakness to keep their predators away. Our animal companions are so smart, so bright, so resourceful, and never cease to amaze me, so keep hope and faith alive, your baby would want you to do just this.

I would definitely put his bird cage with his food and all of his toys out near the wooded area where he flew to, and I would leave it there for some time with the door opened, and I would occasionally check it. There is a distinct possibility that your Tenshi will come right back to his home if it is available to him. I read a wonderful true story about a sweet little Budgie who escaped from his cage and flew off during the winter months. This little bird, with what others thought had no survival skills at all, joined a group of sparrows, and they traveled to and from the different bird feeders and found warm nesting places together for the cold winter nights. He was missing for about a year, and then one day someone found him and was able to catch him with a regular bird cage with food in it, and the rest is history. He was found and returned to his original mama, no worse for wear, and he made it through the freezing cold, the wind, and the snow, because of his strong instincts and wonderful will to survive. There was even a picture of this cute little budgie with his family of little sparrows, who took him in as their own, and this is what brought about this happy and joyful ending.

So please keep hope in your heart and courage in your soul and know that with prayer and faith, all things are possible. I am going to keep you and your dear little boy in my thoughts and prayers that soon you will be reunited. I am so sorry for the sadness and worry that you are going through, but just know that even though you cannot reach out and touch your little bird, he will never ever leave your heart. There are miracles that happen every single day, and all we have to do is believe and receive. I have always been the one to believe and keep hoping when others thought all hope was lost, and I cannot tell you the number of times in the face of the greatest obstacles and adversity, how I stayed steadfast and unfaltering, and was met time after time with such beautiful and unexpected miracles. Your little one is so sweet, so special, and so loved, and may just be much closer than you think. May the beautiful love and radiant light you share with your special boy illuminate his path, so that he will be able to find his way back home to you where he belongs, safe, warm, and loved. Hugs to you and your little angel, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear AbbyC,

Pamela is one of our wisest sages here. She wrote:

"Our animal companions are so smart, so bright, so resourceful, and never cease to amaze me, so keep hope and faith alive, your baby would want you to do just this."

I totally concur with her observation above. I have noticed repeatedly how when you "work" with a pet, by being with them, communicating with them, interacting with them, showing them affection etc. they become even more intelligent. Same thing happens, as we all know, when working with human children. So by your paying such quality attention to "Angel" when you did, you have given her more of a fighting chance at life.

Kind regards,
James
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Mistysmama
AbbyC....I hope your dear little Tenshi comes back soon. Those are wonderful posts above full of hope, and reminding us of the strength of nature !
My kindest thoughts and prayers for his safety and return home.

The Budgie who lived with the Sparrows....what a beautiful true story. If anyone has a link to that story I would love to read it.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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JinglesMom
Mistysmama,

The story of the sweet little budgie who found a new home with the sparrows is certainly one of my favorites. I have been trying to find that story, as I know I had shared it on my Facebook page, so hopefully it will come up on my feed or in my memories, and I will be sure to share it with you. I just could not get over how against all odds, this dear little bird survived the elements and being lost for so long, what a strong little spirited bird he was to defy the cold and snow of winter and keep going in the face of such adversity. 

I remember when I first came to this forum after my beloved boy Jasper had crossed over, you were one of the first friends I met, and your words and your posts were always so comforting and never failed to give me such a peace and calm in my heart. I also remember reading your blog about your wonderful Misty, and it was absolutely beautiful and so heartfelt.
I do recall the very first night without my Jasper, how I lay down in my bed, totally hopeless and devastated, just ready to throw in the towel so to speak. How in the world could I ever go on without the little love of my life? Then it happened, I felt him jump onto my bed, and I even saw the sheets and blanket move and the imprint of his dear little paws. I will never ever forget that, in the throes of my deepest and profound grief, that my sweet boy found a way to comfort his mommy. I had just lost him about an hour before, was he between worlds? I will never know, all I know is that for those few fleeting moments, I finally had just a tiny bit of light to guide me through the terrible darkness.

Well I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and compassion through each of my losses. This journey has been so hard, and it has been so long, but thanks to friends such as yourself, the road isn't quite as difficult and that tiny little light at the end of the tunnel is visible. Your blog about your Misty truly touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes, and helped me to stay open and receptive to the special signs from my little ones. I was wondering if you ever adopted another pet? So many people just cannot understand when I tell them that I will never have another one, because my heart could never take another loss. We all know how strong we are and what we can handle, and I have been beyond blessed to have such beautiful, dear little souls as my Jasper, my Jingles, and my Pootie Tang, but they broke the mold, and there will never be another, and this makes me a little sad, but I know in my heart and soul that it is right for me. I know you can understand, as your love for your Misty was one for the ages, and that special bond and connection very often only comes once in a lifetime. Take care, and I hope all is well with you, and thank you again for being such a wonderful and kind friend to myself and so many others on this forum. Sending hugs your way, JinglesMom
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Mistysmama
Dear JinglesMom,

I don't like taking this thread too far off topic but am inspired to reply to what you said.

Yes when you find that story about the budgie it would be nice for me to read it ! It sounds like a wonderful true story of how even the most fragile-appearing creatures are natural at heart, and can adapt. Which is what I hope is happening to the Cockatiel so missed and worried about here.


You said:
"I do recall the very first night without my Jasper, how I lay down in my bed, totally hopeless and devastated, just ready to throw in the towel so to speak. How in the world could I ever go on without the little love of my life? Then it happened, I felt him jump onto my bed, and I even saw the sheets and blanket move and the imprint of his dear little paws. I will never ever forget that, in the throes of my deepest and profound grief, that my sweet boy found a way to comfort his mommy. I had just lost him about an hour before, was he between worlds? I will never know, all I know is that for those few fleeting moments, I finally had just a tiny bit of light to guide me through the terrible darkness."

Sometimes they do stay with us a little while before fully transitioning (and even then can come back sometimes to visit)
They love us so much, and it's like their Souls are suddenly expanded, and they understand. Yes they want to comfort us and most of all their mission is to show us they are still alive, though in a much much bigger way ! In Spirit -yet as real as they ever were, and with a love at least as strong as it always was.
About 5 months after my girl left I also felt her in my bed. wriggling around ! She woke me up. I laughed, and told her I was going back to sleep and to shut up ! (would you believe I said that?) The next minute I heard as clear as day -a dog shaking out its whole body next to my pillow, and got her scent as well !
Well I just sat up laughing, and could feel her embrace in my heart,  then I fell asleep peacefully. In the morning, there was no sign of her. (Thoug she did come back at a later time, though in a different way, and I never had that same experience repeated.)
So I surely do know what experience you are talking about. It is good.

No I didn't get another dog yet.
I did however foster a cat for seven years -since just before Misty passed in fact -until last April. Now she has returned to original people, and I get regular updates. She is happy.

Bless your dear Jasper, your Jingles, and your Pootie Tang.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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margej
I'm so sad to hear your report on Tenshi. I know another who lost one and it ever came home.I have several birds different breeds, 2 tiels also. All my mine have wings cut. If you can get cockatiels chirping from internet, take it outside and play loudly! It may attract the bird. Also put seed in the yard and his cage also it may help him come home. I hope u find this little darling before it's too late.😥
Marge James
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