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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #31 
Hi Silvia,

I love the photo of Max relishing that pear! It looks like he found a treasure in the snow and gobbled it up very happily.

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And when I found this forum I started to feel better because I saw that it was just not only me. And I learnt that my pain and grief is valid. 


I realize you're still hurting. But I'm glad that a measure of "better" has come. Any relief from those first awful, raw emotions is so welcome.

I hope things continue to ease for you and that you'll keep sharing about Max and how you are doing, when you are up to it. Hugs!


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Catie
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #32 
Catie,

thank you so much for your words. Oh yes, I am still hurting and I think I will for quite some time to come.

Sometimes -just like outa the blue- I relive Max' last days and his last moments which were traumatizing for me. I remember very well laying awake at night with an overwhelming feeling of helplessness questioning the sense of life as I knew I was going to lose something I wanted to keep forever.

In dark moments like this I try to do something nice or go for a long walk in this really cold winter. Or I say to myself that I should be thankful I had him for such a long time.

You see, when Max was only 7 months old he was diagnosed with a severe hip dysplasia where the vets predicted a life span of only 5 years for Max. He lived a happy life to almost 13. So yes, I should be very thankful indeed.

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #33 
Hi Silvia...

I hope things are going as smoothly as possible for you.

Yeah, last days are truly awful. I hate when thoughts and pictures of that time return. Just heart rending. How awesome it would be if their life spans were far longer.

Yet I am soooo glad your Max proved the vet wrong!  Good for you, getting out walking in the crisp weather, though I'm sure you miss his presence. I'm really cold nature, tend to cocoon when it's freezy outside. 

Was Max a cuddly boy or more independent in his ways?

Hoping today is a gentle day for you. 


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Catie
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ForMitookie_03

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Reply with quote  #34 
Silvia,

Thanks so much to you and Max for the picture! It literally made me laugh out loud.  Which is much needed these days.  That is so funny that he liked pears and even funnier that he dug them out of the snow and ate them.  What a special boy.  I hope you are doing well.  Tuesday was one month ago that Mitookie passed.  I miss him so much.  I still think about him all the time, talk to him, write letters to him.  There is a huge hole in my heart.  This forum has been such a blessing.  I don't feel so alone in my grief, and in my thoughts.  Thank you for sharing Max with us.  I can tell what a special baby he was!  Hugs to you!

Marina

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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #35 
Catie,
thank you for coming here and comforting me in such a lovely way. I wished I would live around the corner from you and give you a real hug.
You asked: "Was Max a cuddly boy or more independent in his ways?"

So here is Max the cuddly boy and independent hero:

Max’ philosopy of life was simple but extremely rewarding: Food, food, food, sexy female dogs and rock’n’roll
 
And yes, Max loved to cuddle -  if possible all the time.
 
Max:”We’ve never cuddled today!”
Myself: “Max, we just did cuddle.”
Max: “No, we didn’t!”
Myself: “Oh yes, we did just 1 hour ago.”
Max: “Do you have any idea how long an hour can last??????”
 
We had all kinds of cuddle sessions per day. And in the afternoons, we had the “Wellbeing Hour” where Max would receive his full-body-massage to loosen suspected tensions of his muscles and where he would be brushed with a softer brush to improve bloodcirculation. He loved his wellbeing hour so much that he would make all kinds of funny sounds to show how much he enjoyed that and how content he was... then he would slowly but surely fall asleep and softly snore.
 
Whereas outside in his hudge territorry he did not even like to be patted. There he was ‘The King’ of the valley and what would all his girlfrieds have thought or his opponents? That he was a cuddly baby? There he would make sure that his opponents understood that all those lovely doggie-girls were his and he would be so charming and flirting with all his girlfriends in dog-society. And yes, all the female dogs adored him. Some would run away from their humans when they smelled Max’ scent and follow us up a mile or so.
 
So yes, Max was always in love with every female dog and he suffered – oh yes, he did - and would then want to be cuddled by my husband, because only real men know how love can hurt.

Maxinlove.jpg 

cuddle.jpg 

What a life!


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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #36 
Marina,

Thank you so much for visiting me. And yes, it was my intention to send a laugh your way. You really do need to laugh in all your grieving. One month is still a very short time, Marina - I was not even able to post anything or say anything to anyone at that time without having the feeling to faint or break into tears. So please, give yourself time and be good to yourself. Today I was at the supermarket to buy the weekly groceries and Max' favoured sausage (also our favoured one) and I broke into tears.

You know, every Friday was our "hunting day". I would stop the car on my way home to lay a sausage trail (little pieces I would drop here and there) about a mile's length through the forest. I would then drive home, greet my beloved Max and put all the groceries into their place. A couple hours later I would go "hunting" with Max. As soon as I put out his harness, he knew and got all excited. He would work like a Bloodhound pulling the leash like crazy whilst I was shouting encouragement. It amazed me every time how well he found that trail because he had to trace my footprints that were hours old and invisible to me. I had layed the sausage rather for myself to make sure we're still on the right track. At the end of the trail Max was so so proud and happy and I sang a song for him. 

Only the Gods know how much I miss hunting with my dog.



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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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ForMitookie_03

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Reply with quote  #37 
Hi Silvia,

That's a great story about Max's hunting adventures.  Today I started telling a friend at work how if I wouldn't get up to feed Mitookie when he wanted me to, he would actually start retching and make himself vomit right in front of my side of the bed.  One time he did it in my flip-flop sandal.  He was a drama queen (or king, I should say).  I used to imagine him sticking his paw down his throat to make the retching begin.  That is how predictable it was. 

I so enjoy hearing about Max, so I can just imagine what a joy it must of been to share life with him on a daily basis.  I truly understand the depth of your pain.  Thank you for being encouraging, even though you are struggling with your own loss.

Marina

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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #38 
Sylvia,

I love hearing about Max and his cuddle sessions. What a loving little, big guy. I can just hear those contented noises he must have made. And you guys must have had a ball when you’d go hunting, what great fun! It’s amazing you were able to keep him so happy and active despite the hip displasia. Good job, I know that must not have been easy at times!

Glad to hear from you, and wanted to stop by and send some hugs your way. Keep on hanging in there as best as you can.

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Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #39 
Silvia, those hunting treks sound delightful. How clever you are to create that activity for you both to enjoy. And you invested a lot of time and work, spreading the sausage bits about!  No wonder he would get so excited to go with you!

I loved reading how very much he loved to cuddle and how frequently he insisted that he needed another session. What a hoot. And....it's a stitch that he sought out special comfort from your husband for his issues with the girl dogs. What a fun, furry guy! As for wellbeing hour, wow, how very, very well-cared for he was!  Amazing. 😉

How could you not miss such an extraordinary and loving creature? You are on my heart and I send warmest thoughts and hugs to you.




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Catie
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #40 
Marina,
I had to laugh when reading your story of the "drama king" especially your own imagination about it. Thank you for sharing.

Val and Catie,
Thank you for your words. It eases the pain when I recall the wonderful time, beautiful moments, laughs. And did Max make me laugh ever so often, each and every day. Looking back now I think we lived in some kind of paradise world. Every season of the year was so special. We would watch wild animals in spring time, water world in summer, pear time in fall and snow games in winter. I invented many games and was curious how Max would find his own solution to little tasks.

Against the vets' predictions Max was doing fine with his hip almost all his lifetime - maybe because I did the opposite on what they had advised me to do (which was not easy). But there were only two options: Quality or quantity. I chose quality of life.

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #41 
Your heart and Max's heart were knit together in such special ways. It's very cool that you and he shared so many games. You must be a creative person, Silvia, to come up with these ways to engage with him and to stimulate his mind and interest. 

And with keenest interest in his living fully, you helped him overcome his hip issues and be such an active boy! You're amazing. And it is an amazing love you showed.

Wishing you the best today... Hugs for the journey.

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Catie
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Avabear

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Reply with quote  #42 
I came across this earlier and thought it was so beautiful I had to share it.

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.'

 


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Avabears mummy

'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon

 

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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #43 
Catie and Avabear's Mom,

Thank you so much for your loving and kind words. You are both so beautiful with such great hearts, I dont know what to say really than wishing to all of us the inner peace and painless but rather sweet loving feelings our beloved ones would want us to proudly feel.


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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #44 
Hoping the days get easier and can become less and less colored by the grief, Silvia.  Best to you!
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Catie
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RileysMom

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Reply with quote  #45 
Sending some fresh hugs to you today Silvia. Hope you’re hanging in there and doing okay today.
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Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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