To all who replied to my posts, I thank you for all the kind words and wishes. On the 22nd of May, at 12:45pm, I ended Lucy's pain. For a couple days after my last update, Lucy had some good time, and we took advantage of it. She rapidly declined to the point where there were not even any good hours. I can't imagine how bad the pain was for her to bear. I doubled her pain meds... to no avail. I promised her that I wouldn't let her suffer beyond her willingness to put up with it. We spent our last hours together on the Arkansas River, under a big Cottonwood tree, and then we made the short drive to her veterinarian. It was fast and she passed with her head in my lap.
I haven't been able to function properly until the last couple days, much less give you all any updates. I wish I had been stronger. I can't believe how fast she declined. Hard as I tried to prepare... it was useless. I've never cried so much in my life. I've been chronicling the last week with Lucy, and at the end, I wrote a short note to Lucy that I will place with her ashes, next to a spring in the Collegiate Range to the West of the upper Arkansas Valley. I thought I would share it with you all here.
Thank you all again, for your kind thoughts.
To: Lucy Girl,
I’ve decided for now, to close this writing, my sweet old buddy. I’m going to try and stop all the crying, and misery… and move forward. I will always love and remember you. You will be in my heart always. I have to move on with life, sweet baby. We humans are cursed to live as long as we do. I want you to know that our 10 years together were the bright spot in my life to this point. I will get another puppy to help me continue my life’s story. She will never replace you, or what I feel for you. You were such a good friend, and more than that, a great companion for all these many years. I will miss you forever, my Lucy Girl… my Binkie. Watch over your Dadda, and keep those Wahoo Tigers away! I miss you with every ounce of my body and soul. If you can… help me with my new puppy. Give me the wisdom to raise her better than I raised you, and the heart to know how much I love her, so that I don’t make the same mistakes I made with you. Thank you so much for all you gave me, girl! You were always my angel.