Jhoradan7791
Today I said goodbye to my mini dascund of 14 years Ruby. I always knew this day would come and it would be difficult. But I'm missing her so much!!! I layed down where her bed used to be crying...is it bad of me to put her bed away? I'm not sure how I'd feel staring at her bed and she is no longer there.
Ruby had a disc in her neck go and she became paralyzed. We had her at the vet for 2 days with steroids trying to get the inflammation down. Her front legs worked but not her back. I knew it was time when we were at the vet and I tried to stand her and she kept falling over on her side. It broke my heart to see her that way. I knew it was her time. She died peacefully in my arms. It was the most hardest thing I have ever known. I got her when she was 2 months old and she lived 14 years.
How do I deal with this loss? She was my first dog. I miss her every second. It's so quiet here without her collar gingling around. I can't stand it!!!!!!
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jimmy17
 I am so very sorry on the loss of your lovely Ruby. Its so very hard coming to terms with what`s happened. I am 8 weeks in from losing my beloved boy Jim and still finding it so hard. All we can do is try to remember we gave them the best lives ever, and at the very end we didn`t let them suffer any more. She passed in your arms, and would have known you were there with her. At the moment you cannot see beyond the next hour, let alone the next day, but you will eventually realise that you could have done no more.

 I was told that its like a home losing its heartbeat, and it surely is, but Ruby will be with you every step of the way. I truly believe that we will be reunited with our furry friends one day. You have most definately come to the right place, this site helped me so much as I honestly thought I was going out of my mind. The people on here are all going through the same loss, some a few weeks in like me, and some just coming here like yourself. 

        Hugs to you, Jackie. xx
J Taylor
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ktramey
I lost my Hanna Marie in much the same way. I look at her spot on the couch and cry. I miss her talking to me while fixing her meals. I've had many dogs and I know the pain will dissipate, but it hurts so much in the beginning. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Beaglemomma
Honey you are not alone in your grief.  All of us on this site are still grieving and this is a safe place for you to say whatever you want and ask questions.  No one will judge you.

I put my Molly's bed etc away quickly too, although there are people who want things left alone.  There is no right or wrong.  Whatever gives you comfort is ok.  I took Molly's "treasures" and put them where her little box would be when we got her back home to us, so it is all together.  She slept with me at night and I still pat her spot where her little butt would be at night, her special spot with the pillows arranged just so and only she knew what that meant.  I did that every night to say goodnight to her and can't stop doing it now.

Molly was 14 as well, but that isn't nearly long enough for the best little souls ever.

I hope being here will help ease your grief some.  You are among friends here and I wish you well.
janice
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FinNJ
I am so truly sorry for the loss of your precious Ruby.
These first few hours and days are so difficult...we all weather them in different ways...let your heart lead you.
I lost my little dachshund Duffie just last week and I too packed up her things quite quickly.  I felt selfish doing it...but, in some strange way, it got me through that first night.
You have found a wonderful place to come for support...everyone here is so incredibly kind and understanding. 
Wishing you loving light, strength, and peace.

 
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MyTacoBaby
jhoradan: I've been crying tonight as well. My baby's remains came back today. I tried to be strong all day, thinking if I made myself strong, I'd be ok. Not ok. I almost hyperventilated I cried so hard. This has totally changed my entire life. Almost 16 years old. His b-day would be Feb. 9th. I became physically ill the week before his spiral down. We were both exhausted. I feel some stronger than I did, but I feel like my heart is broken - so broken my chest actually hurts. I am so sorry for your loss, words can't express.
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MyTacoBaby
I also had to package his things away....I started it the day before...his things are all in one place together. I feel sick when I think of him never being in my arms again. This was my first inside doggie. I was talked into getting one to help me with my grief of my mother's passing. Taco chose me (twice). We chose each other. My husband reassures me daily, but sometimes nothing helps. Taco's journey of life ended Jan. 21st this year. It's still way too fresh. I hope the pain eases up soon, I feel so awkward around people sometimes, like I'm a pitiful mess or something though I try to act like I'm alright.
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Jhoradan7791
Thank you so much for all your kind words and thoughts...I really needed it.. I cant believe my Ruby is gone...It was always me and her for 14 years!  She was my world...I realize how much I loved her. This house is too quiet now...No collar chiming, no feeding her at 5:00 when I feed my husband.  No letting her in/out.  No one following me around the house like she did for 14 years.  She used to sit on the rug next to me when I was cooking dinner hoping for a scrap lol.  I cried so much after I got out of the shower today because she used to lay on the mat and when I got out she liked to lick the drops of water on my legs.  No Ruby :(.
I asked for her to give me a sign she is ok.  I think I heard her collar gingle one time tonight at dinner....seriously.  My husband didn't hear it but I did.  I know I am not going crazy!! I truly hope it was her.  I really need a sign she is ok...
Jess
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Beaglemomma
Golly I am right there where you two are as well.  It is horrible to be in this position.  Molly was my whole life.  I am not as well as I would like to be and Molly was ALWAYS with me too.  She followed me around like my shadow no matter how close I was or how soon I would be back.  I used to tell her "I'm coming right back you don't need to follow me" but it never worked.

How to go on without our babies is the question for all of us.  I had 14 years with Molly too, so I know what a HUGE hole you have in your life.  Not sure all of us get a "sign" or even if it is real, but I have had what I am "choosing" to believe is a sign from Molly, so who is to say you didn't hear your babies collar?  Not me.

All of our heats are broken----that one thing I do know for sure and whatever brings comfort is what I will choose to believe in right now.  I am so sorry that you are going through this pain, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
janice
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