aditya
Hi all
My little Prince just went 8 hrs back. Just had him cremated and back home. He was my kid brother 17 yrs. The pain seems intolerable. Crying comes in spurts, I still can't control while I write this. He passed away in front of me. He wasn't keeping well for the past few days. Had stopped eating altogether but we were giving him cereal, milk and eggs in almost liquid form via syringe. Also he had been vomitting every hour for the last 12-15 hrs. He also had extreme arthritis and wasn't able to walk. I know he was very old. But still can't seem to absorb the fact...
No one in my family understands how attached I was to him and what a big loss this is for me. I can't share my feelings with anyone. I feel so lonely. I could share everything with my boy he was always there for me no matter what. And I really admire him for his strength. He had multiple health problems in his life which he went through with a lot of strength. He suffered a lot of pain during some points in life but steered through it like a hero. I wish I could switch places with him right now and just Pat and hug him one last time before that.
Why does God not want us to not be happy. I value our relationship more than I have with any human being. There are no words for it.
Can't seem to come to terms can someone please help me out

Aditya
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aditya
Don't even feel like eating anything. Feel like a really big void in my life
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gizmomybaby
Aw aditya am so so sorry for the loss of your baby prince , I do understand a million percent, can I just say you have came to the right place as wee have & are going through what you are too . The pain is like no other and iam like yourself I had a strong bond with my boy gizmo ,he was my baby boy my world my everything and it crushed me . I hadent felt pain like that losing a human . My boy is coming up for 5 month past and I still get bad days but at the start I couldnt put into words what that pain was like . People use to say to me it gets easier & I use to think no no they don't understand but the pain does start to lift little by little. Wee are on a journey of grief and its different for us all , plz stay on here and let all your feelings out and talk about your boy . Wee are all here for you & understand your pain , plz keep strong its not an easy journey but you have friends here now that will help . Sending big hugs & you can share any photos you have of your prince any time you feel upto it xx
Annemarie
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aditya
Hi Annemarie,
Thank you so much for empathizing with me.I feel that someone can understand my pain (though I wouldn't want anyone to go through it). I feel someone understands me. I wish my boy has a peaceful and happy afterlife or new life. As for me he will always be in my heart and my soul. Never realized until now how big he was a part of my life. Everybody keeps telling me he was in pain it was good for him but why couldn't he have become better health wise because I could have dedicated the rest of my life happily caring for him. I have to say though he was my rock. I miss his touch voice and smell so so much my baby bro please remember me wherever you go.

Deeply appreciate your kind words. Please see my boy.
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aditya
I didn't feel so much pain losing my grandma even though I was really close to her and I was her favorite grandson and we lived together
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mweymark
I am so sorry for your loss.  I understand the feeling that you can't share your pain with anyone.  I am doing the same thing here.  I lost my Peet 11 days ago and my heart is so heavy it hurts to breathe.  you are not alone in your pain.  we feel your pain.
Mel
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aditya
Thanks for the kind words mweymark. I am really sorry for your loss and wish Peet all the peace in the world. I wish I could come and hug all you guys and cry my heart out right now. I also suffer from OCD..my thoughts are really taking a toll on me.

I really value all your support and the fact that I can pour my heart out to people who really understand me.
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aditya
Hi Annemarie
I am so sorry for your loss. Wish Gizmo all the peace in the world and wish him a happy and cheerful afterlife or new life.

I really hope there was a way I could help all others like me, make our babies come back
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Chinadoll
I am so sorry for your loss of Prince, this a tough journey you are on but so many wonderful people here to listen and help you. The pictures are beautiful!! The first thing I noticed was the eyes, he has such a sweet look and you can feel the love in his eyes. Such a handsome boy. I've read on this forum so many times how the loss of a furry friend was more painful and a deeper grief than losing a human family member. I think this is true for so many of us. Our lives are so intertwined with them on a daily basis, the routines become so entrenched in our lives, and the love is always unconditional. When I loss China Doll I was totally unprepared for the level of grief I was to have, it was shocking to me. The first few weeks and months I just went one hour, one day at a time. Eating, breathing, sleeping was a struggle, accepting that she was gone from this physical world was so hard, I still deal with it almost one year later. Most of us never return to who we were before, we just learn that life will be different and the pain will lessen a little bit as we go forward. I am changed forever, you are too, but the gift they leave us is so precious, the bond and love they shared will last forever. Prince will live in your heart, your soul until you meet again later. As you travel this journey, know that he will be with you always. I wrote a journal of my weeks and days, I spoke out loud to China, I prayed, I cried daily. I pray for blessings and peace to come to you as you go forward. We are here to help. Blessings.
Charlie
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aditya
Thanks for the help and support. I am truly sorry for your lost and I wish China doll all the peace and happiness ahead and wish the same for you as well.

Yes the bond, the relationship is like none I have ever had in my life. I really hope that the pain lessens it is very debilitating.

My Prince left us on 30 Dec and today (31 Dec) is his bday. What a coincidence. I will still celebrate his bday. He would want me to do it because he was so cheerful and fun loving. But it is really really hard.

My pain is affecting my ability to work and function normally and I need to do some urgent and important work. Any advice on how to concentrate I can't even start.

Happy Birthday Prince. 🎂🍰🍰🍰
May you spread the cheer and happiness wherever you go. You have really shown me what true love is.
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aditya
We brought him home on 31 Dec 2000 and today on 31 Dec 2017 we are going to spread his ashes in the holy river yamuna. What an irony. I feel that God is playing a dirty joke on me. I can't seem to understand some things.
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aditya
😔😢😢😢😢😞😖😞
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Chinadoll
I"m so sorry, this is a very difficult day for you. Celebrating his birthday I'm sure was a hard thing to do, but I admire your will and I know Prince is celebrating his day with you. I don't have any advice on how to concentrate or focus on work during these times, maybe others do, I have been retired for a few years so fortunately, I didn't have to work. I'm not sure how I would have handled it. I don't know what your faith is, but for me, it was so helpful to believe my dear friends lived on in another place, happy, joyful, no pain, and that one day I will be reunited with them forever. Blessings to you.
Charlie
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aditya
Thanks. It is indeed the toughest time of my life. I will try to work again though.

I can imagine him wagging his tail really fast and coming to me all excited with his ears behind and licking me(the way he always used to) telling me that it's ok, celebrate my birthday and telling me that he is happy.
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aditya
I am a Hindu but my Faith is seriously shaken right now I feel like I hate god

With everyone around me celebrating New year I feel really out of place and so so alone. Sometimes I wish I could have died with my boy.
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