ILoveMyTinkabutt
Hello...
Today, I found myself wanting and searching for someone to talk to  about how I feel right now. My 7year old Miniature Schnauzer has lymphoma...and everyday I am scared and sad. 
I first noticed the swollen lymph-nodes last May and they were confirmed as lymphoma is October. Her oncologist was shocked that she was still active and well. I decided (after a long thought out process) to not treat her with chemotherapy but provide her steroids for some relief/comfort. I am at peace with my decision although I hate seeing her begin to suffer - her lymph-nodes are increasing in size, her breathing is becoming more labored (she has to lift her head as if to make it easier to breathe), she now is limping somewhat from her right front leg, she doesn't take her long walks anymore. 
How will I know when it's time? How do I keep from being selfish? I do not want to put her down too early and I don't want her to be in pain. I don't believe that she is in SERIOUS pain and her oncologist didn't say that it was time yesterday...but does share concern.
Any suggestions? 
Any words of encouragement...anything? 
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Ms. King
Lily Marie's Mom
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BoxerMomForever
Hello, I’m sorry to hear the diagnosis of your sweet Lily Marie.   I know all too well how you are feeling.  It’s all about the quality of life.   Here is my story, but I don’t want to make you sad. 

 We struggled with this last year.  My boxer Lily, was diagnosed with a mass on her liver end of July.  Definitely cancer, surgery due to age was not recommended. I too thought something wasn’t right last year this time. But bloodwork all checked out, but with numerous trips to the vet for tummy issues and noticeable loss of weight that’s when we did ultrasound.  She was good, although walks were a struggle and only took her if it was a good day for her.  She lost more weight, refused her food, so I cooked her food which she liked, then she stopped eating for a week, slept all day, up at night pacing just not good, panting. There was a possibility the mass would rupture too.  So we had to make that dreaded decision in October.

Hugs to you.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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squares
I am so sorry that your poor girl has to go through this.  She is a beautiful, sweet-looking dog.  Animals should not have to deal with something as horrid as cancer.

Unfortunately, I am going through the very same thing right now with my cat.  He has a different form of cancer, but we also decided to stick with steroids and hope for the best.  In his case, it is not helping.  We decided that we would like our cat to pass on before the pain becomes overwhelming.  Over the last week, it's obvious he is experiencing more discomfort, so we have decided to have him euthanized this weekend.  It is so hard to do this while he's still looking mostly happy, but the last thing I want is to ever see him suffering.  And it will happen very soon if we don't act now.

My dog passed from a spleen tumor last December, so I know what happens when a tumor ruptures.  It is painful and traumatic, both for you and your dog.  As hard as it is to make the decision, if you start to notice that your dog is having more bad days than good, or moments when there is a lot of pain, it is probably time to help her cross the bridge. 

Please don't beat yourself up or feel guilty about whatever choice you make.  You're doing your best to help your dog, and she knows you love her.  Your feelings for her come across in your post, and it's obvious you're a great dog mom.  I pray that your dog has many happy days ahead.
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BoxerMomForever
Squares,  I’m sorry for the loss of your dog and to hear about your cat not doing well. Hugs to you.....
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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ILoveMyTinkabutt
BoxerMom & Squares...thank you so much for your words of encouragement, advice and your stories. Last night was a bad night...it was like neither the steroids or pain meds were working, however this morning she was better. A friend told me to ask myself "Is Lily holding onto me or am I holding onto Lily...?" sigh...I don't want her to suffer nor myself. I don't like how I felt last night with her and not sure how much more of feeling this way I can take. I have to have some serious conversations with myself to determine how this final stage will go. I am at peace with not treating her for lymphoma but I am not at peace with choosing the day of her passing...
Ms. King
Lily Marie's Mom
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BoxerMomForever
Ms. King,  I so understand it is a dreaded decision that no one wants to make.  I still tear up thinking of my girl’s last day.  They say look in their eyes.  My girl stared at me intensely her final day and I had to accept she was saying, Mom it’s time, it’s okay.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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ILoveMyTinkabutt
@BoxerMomForever
Oh my gosh...I just got really emotional about this even more. Lily and I always have staring contests so...it will be bitter sweet. 
Thanks Linda for your words...
Ms. King
Lily Marie's Mom
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Westie_angel26
Were going through a devastating time too.  Our 15 year old rescued westie is dying of cancer, we found out 3 months ago and the only option was to amputate back leg or make the most of time left with painkillers it's been 3 months and now the tumour has burst but after reading several websites we discussed with vet to have a few days with him as he is still acting normal, eating, playing, walking wagging tail etc but we are devastated, he has brought so much happiness into our lives and not sure how we are going to cope as we have been through all emotions, guilt, sadness, anxiety etc and didnt feel it was right time and vet said not to rush as he was still happy but we dont wont him to suffer so were letting him go on Saturday.
I read a website the other day, (the only one I thought made sense) explaining the different stages of pet loss and how it's psychologically like losing a child and has helped me process this, as a few days ago I couldnt come to terms how I could carry on without him.
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ILoveMyTinkabutt
Thank you @Westie_angel26! Can you share that website with me? Please and thank you!
Ms. King
Lily Marie's Mom
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Westie_angel26
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-losing-a-pet.htm

http://www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/why-losing-a-dog-can-be-harder-than-losing-a-relative-or-friend-68207
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ILoveMyTinkabutt
@Westie_angel26
Thank you...I put my sweet Lily down yesterday morning. I am so sad and confused. Reading these articles/blogs have helped. Thank you!
Ms. King
Lily Marie's Mom
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Westie_angel26
We put our charlie down yesterday as well.  Were all feeling confused and numb today but the articles did help us too.  There not suffering anymore and we gave them dignity, something many humans dont get.
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BoxerMomForever
Ms. King - I’m sorry for your loss. 

Westie Angel 26, I’m so sorry for your loss. 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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