Lady58
I woke up around 3:00 am on Monday, December 9, 2019 hearing one of my standard poodles sneezing a lot. I turned on the light and saw my beautiful Lady who would have been 12 years old in January covered in blood. She had blood dripping nonstop from her nose, her legs and muzzle were all bloody and one of the dog beds in my bedroom and a large patch of carpet had blood clots and blood all over them. Needless to say, we put her in the car on a blanket and took her to the emergency vet. Blood tests and x-ray showed she had lost 1\4 of her blood volume, she was anemic and her kidneys and spleen were enlarged. The vet put drops in her nose to stop the bleeding but it only slowed it down slightly. They said it looked like she had a tumor in her sinuses or her brain and suggested a cat scan but at this point I couldn't see putting her through any more tests. We decided to say goodbye and after a little bit of playing and a lot of hugs and kisses we said goodbye to my sweet Lady. I am still missing her. When does it get easier? I have her ashes and paw print at home.
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Jan_H
Deborah,

I am very sorry for your loss of your gorgeous, sweet Lady. It must have been a horrifying shock to find her in so much blood. I'm sure you did the right thing by ending her suffering.

When I was a child our neighbors had a standard poodle. I loved walking her and playing frisbee with her. She was smart and sweet and I enjoyed many hours with her.

It is normal to still be missing her. It hasn't been long since you had to say goodbye. I hope in time good memories of Lady can make you smile. She would want that.

My condolences,
Jan
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kikis_mom_1118
she was beautiful..today marks one month since I lost my baby girl. Time heals all wounds although I'm still in pain.
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Gingers_Mommy
My sincerest condolences Deborah on your loss of Lady. What a beautiful poodle. So elegant. I'm sorry the illness showed itself so late. I'm at least glad that you were able to spend some quality moments before having to say goodbye. Over a decade ago I lost my toy poddle. The autopsy didn't reveal a true cause. I was heart broken. I understand your anguish. Only a couple of months ago I suffered another loss. My cat. So I'm here to tell you that it does get easier with time. Right now you're in the beginning. That first storm and it feels like you'll drown in tears. That's normal. It's ok to cry and be sad and miss her terribly. I found this website to be an immense help for me. I believe it will help you too. Post and vent your feelings as needed. Read other similar stories when you feel up to it. In time you will be able to breath again. At your own pace.

Sending warm hugs of comfort your way
-Sharon
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tulip
I am so sorry for your loss. I joined this forum tonight because it’s been a month since we had to unexpectedly put our little poodle down, Tulip, and I still end everyday with crying myself to sleep. I got her when she was 4-5 from a shelter and had her for about 10 years. She is the absolute love of my life. It’s devastating, and I wish I had good advice to give. Tulip had a horrible seizure and we found out through bloodwork that her kidneys were failing, and they estimated a couple of painful days for her, but the seizure wasn’t likely caused by her kidneys - she probably had some brain lesion too. Our vet sent us a card that said we did the kindest thing we could have done for her by making that awful decision, and that has brought me a little comfort. Also, my fiancé reminds me of how horrible and guilty I would have felt if I would have come home and she had already passed away on her own. I would have felt so guilty and wondered what if I got home earlier? How long was she suffering? Did she feel abandoned by me in this time of need? I can’t imagine how scared and helpless she felt? These are things I would have never let go, and these are fortunately questions we (in our situation) don’t need answers to.

The pain was the worst for the first 4-5 days. I refused to sleep at first because I was dreading waking up and realizing this was reality and not a terrible dream. Once you start getting in your normal routine, it gets better, but everything will remind you of them, and right now, it’s still sad. I’m hoping those memories turn into happy feelings with time. I still cry every night and I focus too much on the 12 traumatic hours and the sad moments while we put her down. It’s hard to steer myself away from those thoughts. I’ve heard to accept your feelings because that’s how you move on, but it’s so hard. Then additional guilt snowballs, like taking your time with them for granted, and everything you could have done better for them.

Within 2 weeks of losing Tulip, I lost one of my closest friends, and I feel guilty admitting that I have felt far more pain with the loss of Tulip. You are instantly impacted by the loss of a dog. They are a part of your everyday life. At my friend’s funeral, the pastor said “we grieve because we love.” So we are hurting so much because we love them so much.

I apologize for the lengthy post, and it kind of being all over the place. I joined this forum tonight and was going to post, but saw yours about your beautiful poodle, and it brought me some comfort to talk about poodles.

I’ve been told that if we only focus on the memories, the sad ones flood in and take control, but if we “anchor” ourselves in the present while visiting the past, we can have more control of our thoughts and try to focus our memories on the happy ones. I am going to try this.

Take care, friend.
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