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harmys_legacy
Penny's Mom, 

I hope what i continue to write to my Harmony, truly helps you. It's easier for others to read and relate.. and that's what i hope to give others.. comfort in the words i write. 

I am so sorry for your loss of Penny. I hope with time and with the help with these Rainbow Forums will bring us a little relief. 

Thinking of you, 

Harmony's Mom, Alex
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harmys_legacy
My Sweet Harmony, 

I have had so many people ask about you. I'm not sure if this is supposed to make me feel better or not. People ask how i'm doing, and i tell the truth.. not good. We've had lots of flower deliveries.. while they are addressed to me.. they are for you. Your sister, Honey has been looking for you and it breaks my heart. She's been roaming the house, crying, and restless. Sniffing your bed, laying in the spots you laid around the house.. which is so unlike her. Our house feels empty and even unsettling to stay there. My grief comes in waves.. I get a moment of relief and then jolted right back to reality. I know i am supposed to rely on faith.. but i'm terrified that you're not at peace.. or stuck in a void.. in this blank space. My thoughts consume me. I am so sorry i left you dead on the table at the vet. I feel guilt - guilt that i took your life too soon. I remember your face, you were so calm and trusting. I was a disaster squeezing your paws... I couldn't let go. 

I received an Amazon delivery the other day and quickly realized it was your order. I melted to the floor. It was all of your favorite treats. I couldn't even get myself to open the box... still haven't. Life is moving along but my days drag without you. I am here but i am numb. Nothing has meaning to me now. I haven't received a sign from you but i haven't lost hope. I have this constant lump in my throat.. on the edge of an another meltdown. I still fully expect to come home to you and although i know you're not there, i open the door and tingle with disappointment.

I received the dreaded call today. That you were back at the Vet and ready to be picked up. I feel sick. I dropped my phone and couldn't speak a word - I have no words. I'm shaking, my eyes are blurry and my head is pounding. Disgusted I have to go back to that place but anxious to get you back. How can i stay strong for you? How can i stay strong for your sister, Honey, when i'm so weak. Show me clarity. I need guidance because i'm lost. Everything is happening so fast and yet so slow. 

I wrote this quote down on a sticky for you, I don't know why but it's been stuck in my head.

"Goodbye may seem forever, Farewell is like the end, but in my Heart's a memory.. and there you'll always be"
-Fox and the Hound

I love you. I'll be holding you soon.

Thinking of you always, 
Your mom 09/05/2019
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redgirlraven
I am so very sorry. I know this pain. I do. I know the shock. Time will lessen the pain somewhat but it still hurts horribly in waves even months out from my unexpected loss of my boy Roary.
AR
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Houndsaremyfavorite
Tomorrow marks one week since I lost my Penny. I am so very sad. I look for her around the house, desperately wishing she will just appear as if this has been a bad dream. Her brothers have realized she's not coming home. My heart hurts. I've never felt pain like this before. She was my very best friend for 10 years. I want to hold her again and tell her how much I love her. Pet her floppy ears and give her a belly rub - her favorite. I can't fathom how this will get better. I feel stuck in despair. I miss her so, so much. I don't know how I can move forward without her.
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redgirlraven
I am so sorry. Roary had two brothers as well and I find petting them difficult at times. I spend so much of my time apologizing to them. When my Roary left the house for the last time on his way tot he vet I promised him and that he would be back home soon. I didn’t know I was lying. It’s heartbreaking It is. Hang in there. Take care of yourself the best you can. Try to weather the worst of the storm.
AR
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Momtozeus
Dear harmys legacy,

I’m so sorry for your loss of Harmony💕 I can feel your devastation and hurt and am happy that you found this forum because we are all going through the pain and suffering of losing a fur baby. There is no easy way to get through it, it is day by day and you just do what you need to do to make it through each one. I too write to my boy Zeus. I lost Zeus in July , he had a brain tumor and was 10 1/2. My heart shattered and my life changed forever. I still miss him every day and writing and talking to him does help me through it. I know eventually it will get easier to navigate this life without him, as it will for you and all of us here. Xo
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harmys_legacy
My Sweet Harmony, 

I haven't had the right words to say. 2 weeks without you. I still feel lost. We got your ashes back and they also gave us your paw prints, your nose print and some of your hair. It looks me hours to unwrap everything. I cry because my heart throbs. I cried because when i got your prints and hair there were numbers on the back and on the bag. I was angry.. angry that you were just an assigned number, angry to think that you were just poured in a box. The guilt is still raw. The heartaches and loneliness still have me on the edge of meltdowns.

I hope you know how much i miss you. I put you where you on the fire place ledge where you use to eat your food and right by your bed. Your sister Honey sniff's you everyday. I hope you hear me say goodnight and good morning to you everyday. Life is so busy, how do i slow it down? My mind in trapped in this void, i move with the motions but i don't feel. I miss your eyes blinking at me, i miss your head pushing against me for more head scratches. I miss you chasing squirrels. I miss watching you sit at a tree for hours waiting for that one squirrel. Your dad misses you too. I know he's so sad. He doesn't know me without you. When we met, you and i were a package deal. And now a piece of me is missing. 

I'm always thinking about you. I love you, Harmy.

Your Mom ❤
09/16/2019
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harmys_legacy
Hi Harmy, 


Today has not been a good day for me. I jolted out of bed this morning from a nightmare. I got up to get water and i so badly wished you were there. I looked at your bed and then your ashes. I laid in bed for three hours looking and pictures of you and i just wept. I thought i was okay over the last two days, but i'm not. My reality still doesn't feel real and i still feel like you're alive.. i still have hope that when my phone rings it'll be the groomer or the vet telling me you're ready to be picked up. How can i be at peace with things when i don't know if you're at peace. 

On the way to the train station this morning, You're dad reminded me of one of the funny things you used to do that always made his day. You learned how to open the sliding barn door to the bathroom. You'd open the bathroom door and stick your snout in the shower and nudge the shower curtain out of the way to say good morning. Then you'd sit on the shower mat and wait for him to be done. Those morning scratches were your favorite. He misses that. He misses you. 

Life isn't fair. I miss you so much. I know i say this allllll the time, but i wish we had more time together. Please visit me soon.

I'm always thinking about you. I love you.

Your Mom
09/18/2019 🐩🐾💔
Harmy_20190907_010635 resized.jpg 


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