adriang0mez
Juneau is my love, joy, and my reason to push forward through the difficulties of life and today she passed. She was only 2 years old and I’m not taking this well at all. I’m devastated and heartbroken. She was my reason to keep on keeping on and now she’s gone. There’s no color to the world, there’s no joy, and I don’t want to be here. I don’t have kids, I’m not married, and she was all I had. I had never experienced love the way she loved me. And now I have none. I’m lost, scared, confused, and overwhelmed because my reason is gone. I can’t see past this day. There is no future. What will I do? I wasn’t ready for this. We had such a beautiful morning together. I held you tight and sang to you. We played our spider game together like we do every morning. What will I do now?
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Living_with_tragedy
Oh, I'm terribly sorry about Juneau.  She was so young. Why did she pass?  When you are able to talk about it, what happened?  So sudden. 

So tragic. There are pet loss hotlines if you need to talk to someone. Daybyday pet support is 24/7 and LapofLove is till 9pm eastern time.  Still come to this forum. We all understand loss.  We're here to support each other. I lost my 6 year old dog and I've been comforted by many people on this site.  I write letters to my dog for my own therapeutic reasons.  

I don't know what to say that could make it better for you.  Having a pet does help our loneliness and when they are gone, we are so lost.  Grieve as long as you need. Cry if you have to.  I still cry. I am still grieving. 

What beautiful picture.  I wish you peace and comfort.  

Take care,
~ Parker's Mom
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adriang0mez
Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s been a difficult 24 hours since my little girl passed. She was so young and I had so many things planned out for us but now I’m planning a celebration of life for her instead.I miss her so much and I can’t stop crying. The world just isn’t as colorful without her.

I’ve reached out to Day by Day and they were so helpful. They’re going to continue reaching out to me and counseling me. I’m also seeing my therapist. I don’t know how to deal with this on my own. My body hurts so much. But I’m trying to hang in there for her because she would love to see me happy. It’s just so hard because she was my biggest source of love and happiness and now she’s gone. I truly feel empty but I have to take it second by second.
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Lu
I'm so sorry about Juneau. All of us here understand the devastation of losing our beloved pets. It has been over a month for me and it is a bit easier but I still definitely have a long way to go. Please don't say there is no future. The thing about life is that it's full or surprises - good and bad. You are definitely due for a good one, so hang in there. It will take some time - maybe someday you can rescue a dog who needs you just as much as you need them! You obviously have a lot of love to give and that is the most valuable thing on the planet. In a few years (or sooner?) I would like to adopt a senior, special needs or other hard to place dog. I know that's hard to think about now, we just want our pets back. I wish so badly we could. I do believe they are still with us in spirit (not just saying that to make you feel better) It's not the same, but that love and energy never dies and I really hope and believe we will see them again someday. In the meantime, take care of and be kind to yourself. Hugs. 
lea
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Lfc7118
You are not alone in your feeling of loss. My beautiful boy Tomas went missing last week and I found out on Monday what happened. He too was just 2 years old. I feel grief as mine too is very strong. I feel hopeless each day trying to figure out why this happened but knowing I will never get an answer. I too am hoping this grief will decrease over time because right now it unimaginable. Together we can make it through these tough times together.
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JCat
So so sorry about Juneau. What a sweet picture. We know that feeling. For me it's 7 months, and not a day goes by without a down period, thinking of my girl. She was 6, also young, but 2? Heavens I hope she passed peacefully.  Please let there be a reason for all this! It's hard to believe these loving animals have a short life span as it is.
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Annesmimi
I’m so very sorry for your loss! It can be hard to know how to deal with a loss of this magnitude. Dogs become our family and offer a love like no other. I recently lost my Anne and the pain was unbearable at times. I will say that it does ease with time, I still have my moments but it’s not as bad as it was.
I hope you are finding some comfort and support in this forum.
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jerigraehl
I am so sorry for your loss. I am in the same very sad position. I am not married and have no family. It has been 4 months since I lost my Tonkinese cat Khaomanee. Like so many here I was totally traumatized by how it all went down. And I really wish I had done things differently. Now I am beyond grateful that I still have my other cat Sugar Bear - this is the first time I have had the comfort of another pet after losing one. At first I was so grief stricken it did not seem to help. But over the last 4 months Sugar has transformed and blossomed as it is just her and I. She literally has not left my side since. Now I love her more than ever and the thought of losing her terrifies me. I can't bear to go through this again. She is 14.5 years old and in good health. But so was Khaomanee until one morning when he was very very sick. I chose to let him go due to not wanting him in pain and he was 15 but I can't even begin to tell you how much I regreted not waiting at least one more day to see if I could regulate his diabetes - he got pancreatitis - because I did not do it right. The guilt still stops me in my tracks if I look at his picture. I can't even look at this point. But.... that is my story. You wrote in for comfort. Just know I understand the depth of your grief and how compounded it is by being alone in the world. When we lose that unconditional and so comforting love we have for them and they have for us it takes all joy. I fully realize you can't ever replace this little soul but your heart can expand at some point. It sure never feels like it but I know it happens as it has happened to me  and others. That in no way mitigates this loss believe me I know that. Just maybe at some point - especially because you are alone - you can rescue just the right pet in need of the love you clearly have to give. Love expands not divides. Each love is just different which is why the loss is so painful - the one lost can't actually be 'replaced'. This is me being objective - but subjectively the pain is so overwhelming you want to die. It gets better with time if you can get out of the dark hole - that is the hardest part. When there is no support system. Consider us here your support system. It has really helped me. Jeri
jerigraehl
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BoxerMomForever
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is losing your sweet girl. So young and heartbreaking to say the least. I hope this forum can help you like it is helping all of us who are going through this sad time. Hugs to you.n
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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adriang0mez
Thank you all for heart-felt wishes and support. Throughout the week, I’ve been reading these and they have brought me comfort. Today marks a week since my Juneau passed and it has been difficult. It’s the most difficult period of my life. Tuesday was the hardest day and the day brought me many tears. I’ve been lucky to have a strong support network with my family, my few close friends, a grief counselor, and my therapist. On top of that, my job gave me the week off to grieve and my coworkers have sent me gifts and well-wishes. This has made things easier for me. It still doesn’t take away the pain I feel. Everyday since she has passed, I’ve cried for her. She was my child, my companion, my life partner, and my love and joy. But I know she’s having a lot of fun on the island of paradise chasing squirrels, eating cheese, and devouring cheeseburgers because she loved them. That brings me comfort to know that she’s happy and she’s with me everyday in spirit. I have been able to laugh as well when I think about how silly my little girl was. She would always take and hide my socks, she would stash away napkins because she liked ripping them into tiny pieces, and she would always play bite me when I tried grabbing her toys. She may not be here but she rules my life and my home. My Junie is everything to me and that will never change. I plan to adopt another dog as soon as I’m ready because before she passed, I was already in search of her sibling. I’m going to give her that. I’m also going to dedicate my efforts in giving her sibling a great life to her. She will be able to live vicariously through them. I’m going to contribute to the shelter where I got her and volunteer. I’m also planning on planting a tree in her name. My Juneau’s life will be memorialized because she was larger than life and she deserved it.
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Gucci
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear, dear Juneau. It's absolutely devastating, and there are really no words to match the depth of the loss. Please know that we're here on this forum to support you. I'm so glad you have what appears to be a solid support group of family, friends, therapist, grief counsellor. I'm also very glad for you that you were able to take bereavement leave from work. I lost my precious cat Sammi barely 6 weeks ago and I'm still coming to terms with it. The support of the wonderful people here, and the opportunity to share your grief whenever you need to, make such a difference. My warmest sympathies. GC
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Lu
So glad to hear your work has been supportive and that you have been able to smile at the happy memories. I love the idea of planting a tree and volunteering at the shelter. My Lulu was a Chihuahua and I also donated to a sanctuary for senior and special needs Chihuahuas. Happy to hear you're adopting a new dog! Would love to see photos when you can share.  
lea
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