GrievingForJoshie
My good man Joshie is gone.
He and his brother Drake were the first cats I ever fostered, and we winded up adopting them. They're like my kids... Joshie was the sweetest cat you would ever meet. He loved to suckle and knead on my leopard print blanket, loved to snuggle in between my legs to sleep, loved to lay down on my Moms lap. He was perfect.
When we first got him he was more playful, and bigger than Drake. Slowly he began to decline. He wasn't playing much anymore. He was lethargic, not eating much, one of his eyes color changed and became inflamed. He had a parasite that he was trying to fight off. His red and white blood cell counts were extremely low. The vet expected based on those numbers he would be so much worse than he was. At one point he was acting so much better. Then this past week things took a dark turn.
He lost almost a pound, and almost stopped eating completely. Yesterday he kept having tremors, and seizures. He was slowly becoming paralyzed and at one point couldn't even swallow anymore. It broke my heart to see him like that. He winded up passing away in my Moms arms.
It turned out to be the dry form of FIP. We first tested for it a couple months back and it came back negative. Sometime between then and now his immune system just gave up fighting it off because it came back positive this past week. I just don't understand...
Josh was such a sweetheart. He didn't deserve this!!! He was only 5 months old! Why did he have to suffer like he did? Why did he have to get FIP? I'm so depressed; I haven't eaten much at all, I'm naceous, I can't sleep because every time I try to I hear Josh letting out the wails he let out yesterday while having seizures. I keep crying, I keep calling out his name and trying to talk to him like I used to. I just want him back! I just want to hear his meow that he made while he was getting ready to knead and suckle his leopard print blanket (It was only that blanket he did that to; no others.) My Mom and I tried everything to help him; medicine for his inflamed eye, three different medications to try and kill the parasite, giving him vitamins, mixing broth in with his food... What's the point if you can't even protect those who mean the most to you from something as horrible as FIP?
RIP Josh 10/30/15. You'll always be my good man. I love you, and miss you so much...
Miss you so much Josh.
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Toes
You are in shock and are devastated by the loss of Joshie.  I feel your sadness and pain vividly, I recently lost my cat baby to kidney failure.

I relate to a lot of the frustration and pain which you have in coping with your Joshie's illness and suffering...

The fact that you have Joshie and Drake fostered makes it likely that they were being rescued from a highly undesirable if not totally horrible condition. That means they were perhaps at their vulnerable and tender age being exposed to a terrible environment where the FIP viruses were rampant.

Sweet Joshie did not deserve to suffer like this...non of our little-not-so-little-furry-feather-four-legged friends do...

Only 5 months old...I wouldn't want to imagine Joshie's situation had he not had the luck of a foster home. His immune system might already at risk before you got him...

You have just being struck by a painful fact, and the grieving process has just started, don't shy away from it, take your time to grieve, in your own way...drink some fluids, take care of yourself...

My thoughts are with you...Sharon
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GrievingForJoshie
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your cat to kidney failure.

I do know before I fostered them they were being fostered by someone else whose fostered countless cats and dogs before. It's possible Joshie picked it up there; one of the cats this lady fostered could've had the corona virus that leads to FIP and Joshie picked it up. Before that though he was in a shelter so he could've gotten it there too. We'll never know for sure.

No animal ever deserves to suffer.

I have a feeling that if I didn't foster him he would've died a while ago. I gave him all the love in the world. He was like my kid to me. I hope he knew how much I loved him.

I'm making sure to spend lots of time with Drake. He's grieving too; he misses his brother.

I know it's going to take some time to process Joshie's death, and get used to the new reality without him.

Thank you Sharon; I appreciate your kind thoughtful words and support.
Miss you so much Josh.
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dvtedgar
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I went through this back in February.  I too adopted two brothers, Coda and Felix.  They were both super healthy at first, and loved to play together.  Coda would spend hours cleaning his brother - when they weren't wrestling.  They always slept together - on my legs - every night.  One day I noticed Coda did not seem "right."  His coat was not the same... he seemed off.  We set up a vet appointment for the next day - I thought he had a cold or something.

I called home a few times the next day - I was worried and nervous... I think a part of me knew that this was no cold.  Finally I got hold of my wife - but when I asked, she told me we should "talk about it when I got home."  Then I knew.

He'd been diagnosed with FIP - the "Wet" form.  Our vet recommended we euthanize him. 

I went into denial.  Took him to an animal hospital about an hour away.  They tried different things - different tests.  Suggested Interferon.  We tried EVERYTHING.  Made several more trips to the hospital over the next two weeks.  Coda seemed to improve for a short while.  But then came a day when he refused to take his medication.  He was going downhill fast. 

This was the worst point in my life.  I had to choose to end his suffering.  I had to let my little buddy go. 

It has been nearly 9 months since that horrible day.  I still feel Coda kneading my leg when I come home.  I still feel him sit upon my shoulders, and he still sleeps upon my legs with Felix.
Felix and I look at each other every so often.  That "special " look, when I think we both know that we are thinking about Coda.  He will always be in my heart, and in his brother's heart as well.
I know he will be there waiting for me upon the other side.

I want you to know this, because I want you to know that your Joshie will be there for you, and his brother as well.

Take care, and know that we are all thinking of you.
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GrievingForJoshie
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Coda to the wet form of FIP.

It makes me feel a little better that someone went through the same thing a while back. Whether dry or wet, FIP can be a deadly disease. I truly hope they find a vaccine or cure for it someday so no other cats have to suffer like Coda, or Joshie did.

Drake still has his buddy Talia at least. She is a 1 year old cat and they love to play together! Granted the past few days they haven't been playing as much but at least they're still playing a little bit.

Every now and then Drake will wander around meowing constantly. I think he's still looking for Joshie. He actually saw Joshie die and he jumped in the box we put Joshie in before we put him in (we buried him yesterday.) I don't think he fully comprehended that Joshie is gone. I do feel Drake is still hoping that Joshie will come back. Poor guy :(

He also was very sad when I had to leave for my college classes yesterday. I hope between me spending time with him, my Mom spending time with him, and Talia playing with him that over time he will slowly begin to heal.

Thank you for sharing your story dvtedgar. And thank you for your kind words, and support.
Miss you so much Josh.
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westerhh
I'm so sorry you lost your kitten Joshie. I am writing because I too just lost my kitten Jerry to FIP the wet form yesterday. He was 6.5 months old, and made such in impact in our family lives. Its surprising how being home now is so different with out him by our side. I'm so very upset for the way he had to go, being uncomfortable with all the liquid in his belly, losing weight, crying, having tremors, and just so many other things. He was only content if he was on us at all times. Making the decision to put him down was so hard but he seemed so at peace and in comfort afterwards.

I feel such a guilt to continue on my day, to do anything. I never want to forget him and I just so wish he was right by our side still. Our other cat doesn't know what to do and seems to continually look for him, cry and just snuggle with us. It is heart breaking.

You are not alone in your pain.

Here is to Jerry, Joshie and all the other Kitties who died from FIP, may they rest in peace and know that they are loved!
Hanna Edwardson
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romeoslady
I am very saddened for your loss having just lost my baby 5 weeks ago.  It will take some time every day will be different.  Sometimes you think the grief is subsiding and other times it is right back with you.  My Romeo was my favorite cat and I  had him for 16 1/2 years.  I blame myself but his system wasn't digesting food and he was passing it within a half an hour.  I thought he was okay cause he was eating so much.  He had almost died last year and got better so I thought.  Then his bowels started.  I am distraught today.  I don't know what to say to make you feel better.  It is nice to see on this website how much people love their pets like I do.  You could not control your baby getting FIP.  So many cats get this when they are rescue animals and it is unfair that they do not get to live out their lives.  But God sees what is in your heart and he knows the loving home you gave this baby even if it was for such a short time.  He was blessed and you were blessed.  You did the best you could do.  I will pray for you and all the wonderful people on h ere who have suffered this tremendous loss.
rosann russo
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GrievingForJoshie
westerhh; I'm so sorry to hear about you loosing Jerry to wet FIP at only 6.5 months. It truly is different without Joshie here. So much more quiet, and empty. He was such a sweetheart, and kept fighting and going about his daily routine until the very end. Deep down underneath that sweetness he was a fighter not letting this FIP get him depressed until it killed him.

I feel the same way about feeling guilty to continue about life without him. I too wish Joshie was still at our side and I don't ever want to forget him. Drake seems to still be looking for him. He saw him die but I'm not sure how much he comprehended at that point, He gets so sad when I leave the house now.

Thank you for sharing your story, and your support.

At least Joshie, Jerry, and all the kitties who had FIP are no longer suffering. May they know how much we loved and cherished them!

romeoslady; I'm so sorry to hear about your Romeo. At least he is not suffering anymore. That is what we have to remember is that our babies are no longer suffering. As hard as it is sometimes to not think of the grief it is important to remember they are no longer suffering. Today has been one of my better days but I know that I will have good days and bad days as the grieving process goes on.

This website is truly remarkable; it's absolutely wonderful to see a community of pet lovers come together and give love and support to one another when our pets die. It's nice knowing one is not alone.

I was truly blessed by having the chance to foster Joshie. He brought so much joy, light, happiness, and love into our lives. I couldn't have asked for a better first foster (along with his brother Drake.)

Thank you for the support, my prayers are with all of us grieving pet owners.
Miss you so much Josh.
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