Today is the 1 week period that has passed since our Johnny died. The vet's office just called and said they had his "cremains" and were ready for pick up. I cried really hard, again. Oh my, I just feel so empty for him. His soft little head has been reduced to ashes. How can we every feel whole again without him. I want him so bad to return whole to us. I just can't understand this.

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I know how you feel, I wnted that for my Maddie girl too, but it just isnt possible. When I first picked up her ashes, I had a hard time with them, but as the days went on, I found comfort having them nearby. My prayers are with you. This is sooo hard.

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I am sorry you are sad today.  It is very difficult when our precious babies come home.  I cried so hard I almost couldn't drive.  It took a few days but I do feel better and find having Ted home a comfort.  At 1 week, your grief is still so new and raw.  As the days go by you will find relief but it will take time.  Just know you are not alone.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
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Dear bc,
We all remember that day because it is so very tough to make that drive to pick them up.  In time, it helps to have them home with you...at least a piece of them.  I hope, when you feel like it, you will share a little about Johnny.  We all understand the empty feeling and the sadness.  I hope you have time to go back and read some old threads.  A person named Susie Squillions has posted some very uplifting threads but you'd have to go past page 1 to find them..they are buried a little now.  I mention that because you are asking 'why' and expressing that you can't understand it.  There is so much on this website that can help you.  But, mostly, you have people who understand, who are willing to listen, and who want to support and encourage you in your time of pain.  We are here with you.  
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I picked up my Tootie's remains yesterday.  I know what you're going through.  I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling.  I know it's so hard to deal with.  I felt the same as you.  It haunted me to think of my girl being cremated, but it was the only way I could have her home with me.

My girl had a rectal prolapse.  It was not repairable.  I asked the vet if she could make her whole again after she passed away.  I can only hope that the vet did that for me.  I stayed with my girl until she was gone.  I held her sweet body afterward and balled like a baby. 

Just know that you are not alone in your pain.  We are all hurting so bad, but we are also here to help you in your time of pain.  I have "met" some wonderful, sweet, and caring people here.   They have all helped me a great deal.

I wish I could say more to make you hurt less.  I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much.  Bless you. 
Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
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