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Zooey
Hang in there everyone.  We are going to get through this ♥️
Zooey 
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CathyD
It rings very true to me that our fur babies should still be HERE. There's times I want to scream, where is my cat?! It IS wrong they are not here. I too can't believe I will never again feel Ginger jump on me for cuddles, her purr, her meows when she wanted to play hide and seek, and just her calming presence in general.
It's so very painful but I have found being able to express it to others who understand does help ❤
I'm so sorry you lost your Jessie, hugs 💕
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Heavenisreal
Zooey I feel like I won't make it.  The regrets and guilt are debilitating.   I just want to end it all
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Zooey
Violetta you will make it.  We all will.  Please if you are feeling hopeless and unsafe please seek help.  There is no shame. Your beloved  animal wants you to be ok.
I had to see my doctor regarding the grief. Its understandable 
Zooey 
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Gracie4ever
Violetta, please seek help. There is nothing wrong with needing help. I have an appointment on Tuesday to meet with a Trauma Counselor because I know that I need some help or I won't be able to make it through this, either.

Cathy, I can relate to everything you said. It's really hard to grasp that my girl will never be with me again. Sometimes I call out to her, just to think of how it used to be, and I can see her in my mind.

We are all here for each other, we all feel each other's pain and can relate to it. This is a safe place for us to express ourselves. Please feel free.
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CathyD
Zooey I feel like I won't make it.  The regrets and guilt are debilitating.   I just want to end it all

Violetta I know what is like to be in a dark deep place that you feel you can't climb out of. I've almost lost my brother this way many times as well. Please seek help. I've had to do just that before too, therapy does help.
And you're not alone, we are here to help support each other. We need you too. Hugs 💕
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Phoebe
Hi. I too found this forum helpful, if only to write down my feelings. I lost my dog two weeks ago, and yes it is undescribly hard and heartbreaking. I have been told by others to allow myself to grieve, I can barely hold it together when on my own however. Just know that you gave your baby so much love, and that is priceless as is the love I'm sure you received back. 
Phoebe Riley
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ClaudiaNYC
Violetta,

You WILL make it. I promise you that. You are in the throes of grief, yes. But please don't allow the depression and darkness to overtake you. Seek help if you need it, it's out there. Look at all us here supporting each other, because we're all feeling the same thing. This forum exists for this very reason. Our babies had such an impact on our lives, and the grief we're all experiencing is a testament to their importance. I've started to think about the grieving feelings as a way for them to CONTINUE being present for us after death. It's like the sharp pang of sadness I felt just a moment ago when I was outside in my garden. Jessie's garden. I went to fill the bird feeder with seed, and the entire energy out there was ALL Jessie! It was her, letting me know that she was grateful for the garden space and all the many many afternoons she spent out there napping, watching the birds, inspecting my gardening tools and flowerpots like the ever-curious cat she was. Our grief is our babies' presence ... continuing. That's why we're consumed with it - because they are permeating our hearts.

Please keep posting here and talking with us. It will get better. 

Love and hugs,
Claudia
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Heavenisreal
Claudia thank you dear.  My grief is extremely complicated because I did so much hands on care for Ariel.  Even though only 15 months he had illnesses that doctors couldn't figure out.  They didn't find out what was wrong and collected so much money.  Only on the day when he started loosing the battle they agreed with me that he is very sick.  
I am grieving because he was only 15 months old.  We haven't had any good times outside.  We haven't shared any adventures.   I am not only grieving him.  I am grieving the life we would have had but won't. His young age is making this grieving simply unbearable.   Had to euthonize my love baby girl at 14.5 years old.  As life debilitating as it was this is million times more painful.  I should have saved him.  He was too young to go.
Only God can help me.  I don't have any desire to wake up.  Although I still have his brother who also has chronic illnesses and is a special needs cat.  
Loosing Ariel is life shattering.  Don't feel like talking to anybody.  Hate when people ask me how am I..... 
You are blessed to have been able to give your baby a long, happy life.  Hugs...
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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CathyD
Violetta, I was thinking about you last night and that I neglected to tell you about what's helped me the most. You are right when you say only God can help you, that's true for all of us. God is with you right now and He wants to cover your grief and guilt with His love. He accepts you and will forgive whatever you've done wrong or think you've done wrong. You're the Apple of His Eye! The day Ginger died the verse of the day in my Bible app was "thou I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me" - and earlier, not knowing it was the days verse, I had said it aloud to Ginger. It was like God was affirming it to me. Later I was missing her at bedtime very badly and I prayed her sister would come up on the bed to cuddle because I couldnt stand the lonliness - which she does rarely- and a couple minutes later she did.
I just wanted to share with you what helps me in my darkest moments. ❤
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 AMP
https://bible.com/bible/1588/mat.11.28.AMP
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Heavenisreal
Thank you Kathy.  I have yet to receive the peace.  As the days go by I get more regretful, anxious, depressed and utterly masochistic.  Don't eat, just smoking none stop.  
I can't move on without my 15 month old boy.  I let him go instead of resorting to extraordinary measures to save his life.  He hasn't lived yet and he is gone due to my stupidity. 
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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