It’s been 16 days since our beloved dog of 13 1/2 years passed. Finally, my husband broke down. He has a cried a little here  and there, but he doesn’t like to talk about Max because it gets him too upset. So I’ve turned to this forum to share my trauma, grief, depression, guilt and to process this monumental loss. I’ve felt I have to bottle in my pain and grief over our loss of Max. This forum lets me say whatever I’m feeling or thinking, I couldn’t be more grateful. No one understands me like the people here do. Having to cope with a loss is difficult enough, not having your partner to go through the grieving process is so much more lonely. I was sketching a picture of Max today, I don’t really know how to draw, but my therapist suggested it to help me process the emotions. When he walked in and saw it, he broke down. Just looking at Maxs face reminded him of the day at the vet when we put him down. He finally started to cry. When I wanted to talk about my feelings, he got up to leave. I wish I could be more supportive to people on here and be there for them, I don’t mean to make everything about me and Max. It’s hard enough just getting on here to write my feelings. At some point I will be the support that others need. I love you Max. I kissed your blanket that I sleep with  this morning when I awoke like I woke up to you. 
Laraine Esposito 
Quote 0 0


I know exactly how you are feeling. I am 5 days in and the pain is unbearable. My husband is very upset but is now able to go about his day and doesn’t seem as affected by the constant reminders in the house. He says he finds it good to be reminded. I just find it painful. I have started to avoid certain parts of the house as it is too much for me. 

I feel lost and like I have lost part of myself. 

sorry for your loss. 

Quote 0 0
Dear MaxsMom.
I also feel aware of talking about myself here, and sometimes feel I should be responding more to others. But you, and me...and others, we are here because we are in pain, and it's very new. I am grateful to have this place to  tell my story over and over again and I think people understand that when you are sinking in grief you are drained, with not a lot left over to give to others until your own healing starts. It's ironic that on top of feeling guilty about euthanizing my Bracken, I feel a little guilty about just talking about myself here. I'm usually the one who listens, not talks. But I will keep writing about Bracken, because that's what I need to do right now. But I read about your grief and about Patches, and I will  pray for your healing.
Diane, Bracken's Mom
Quote 0 0