I have lost my helper, my bestest friend, my companion and confidante'

Of the many many words that she knew, "Helper" was one of the keynotes.
My 12 y/o Lab would perk up ears and readily respond to "wanna be my helper"?

Gardening, cooking, restoring old equipment - she was always ready to be there for me.
Now she is gone. Buried in my yard in a special garden. I have to go talk to her first thing each day and throughout the day and a goodnight. I have had too many dogs that lived over 10 years, it does not get any easier, at all. You know when that moment comes - for their good - not yours.

For an empty nester, losing a pet is absolutely the most devastating event imaginable.
I find constant guilt and blame, of myself, anger and fallen faith - on life itself, and a cloudy outlook for my future, a Huge part of me is gone and it is so hard to go on. Pain is proportional to attachment and I am guilty of the most severe degree. - I have always poured everything into those closest to me.

Just trying to get on, to hold dear all of the deepest parts of those glorious moments and to walk towards the light of hope, healing, grace, life
thank you,

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If is funny how most of us have boy Monty who recently left us a Maine Coon had the most charmed life...I jumped when he wanted food...when I was on my PC he would love to sit on the desk and I would move to let him have the whole area...when I went to bed he would want a certain pillow and I would give him the one he wanted and that would be the one I was resting my head on...and his litter tray had a swinging door on it and at times he would look at me to say ''well come on then open the door for me'' and I would.

In fact I was his servant and I loved every minute being just that as he was my darling boy...and yet I felt guilty when he had to leave us.

The guilt is now starting to subside...but I know how you are feeling...the amount of emotions you feel are overwhelming.

My daughter loved Monty as much as me and we can talk about him and his funny ways and yes at times we shed a few tears but out of love and knowing how he loved us.

If you have no one you can talk to about your darling girl then post on here as much as you want as there will always be someone here to listen and post back.

You have nothing to feel guilty about...your girl had an amazing life and knew how much you loved her.

Take Care

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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Thank you.
Received a package today, from my daughter. 2 pictures of Maddie the lab, created on a very lightweight foam board, amazing! Put one on the stairway wall of heroes and one in my BR.
The guilt still trickles in here and there, but so do all of the wonderful memories
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