I have lost my helper, my bestest friend, my companion and confidante'
Of the many many words that she knew, "Helper" was one of the keynotes.
My 12 y/o Lab would perk up ears and readily respond to "wanna be my helper"?
Gardening, cooking, restoring old equipment - she was always ready to be there for me.
Now she is gone. Buried in my yard in a special garden. I have to go talk to her first thing each day and throughout the day and a goodnight. I have had too many dogs that lived over 10 years, it does not get any easier, at all. You know when that moment comes - for their good - not yours.
For an empty nester, losing a pet is absolutely the most devastating event imaginable.
I find constant guilt and blame, of myself, anger and fallen faith - on life itself, and a cloudy outlook for my future, a Huge part of me is gone and it is so hard to go on. Pain is proportional to attachment and I am guilty of the most severe degree. - I have always poured everything into those closest to me.
Just trying to get on, to hold dear all of the deepest parts of those glorious moments and to walk towards the light of hope, healing, grace, life