Chloesmom67
I lost my Yorkie Chloe suddenly on Friday and I’m a mess. She was not even 8 years old yet. Thursday we noticed she was panting when she never did, drinking water and coughing and breathing heavier then normal. I called my vet after hours who told me to check her gum color which was fine. He said to bring her at 9 for him to check. He listened to her heart and said she had a heart murmur and he would need to take X-rays and do blood work. Here I was thinking it was trachea related never suspected her heart. They said they would be done in 3-4 hours. He called in 2 and said her lungs were so filled he couldn’t see her heart. He had me go to the emergency vet for an ultrasound but by the time I got there she was lifeless they rushed her and revived her but they said her lungs were so filled and the best option was to put her to sleep. Two days early she was normal how could this happen and why did GOD do this to me? She was my best friend as I don’t work and my children are 20 and 18 so it was her and I. I don’t want to leave my bed because we had the same routine every morning of her rolling over for belly rubs and then want to be picked up for hugs. Leaving the house and coming home to it empty with no happy girl excited your home killed me. Watching tv last night and not having her laying right next to me was torture. I have seen my husband cry for the first time in our 28 year marriage and he doesn’t want to be home. The crematory called to make the arrangements and I couldn’t keep it together. I have a huge hole in my heart. Tomorrow with everyone in the house going to work and school is going to be so hard. How do I cope? I just want her back.
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peachesdad
I lost the love of my life, Peaches, last month to the the same terrible disease. She fought it for ten months with six different medicines twice a day. She was doing fine that Tuesday night, playing and suddenly collapsed. She passed away five minuets later in my arms. I have her ashes in a nice wooden urn with her picture on it. I talk to her like she's still here because she is and will always be in my heart. I went through the same thing your going through. I knew she didn't have long to live and happy God took her to a better place where she no longer suffers but was mad at myself for not taking time off from work to be with her more. My life is so empty without her but I DO believe we will be together again someday. This is what's keeping me going so if you keep that in mind and know that Chloe would want the best for you, everyday will get a little bit better. The memories and love you two had is still there and can never be taken away.  
tim
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catiebee
Hi Chloesmom, 

Welcome to the forum, but I'm so, so sorry for the loss that brings you here.  What an absolutely gorgeous girl! And how tragic to lose her unexpectedly and so young.

I know the emotional pain is just outrageous. My heart goes out to you very, very much and I hope you will find comfort in knowing pretty much everyone in this group has felt totally devastated and bereft, because our pets mean soooo much to us. I think this is one of the hardest things on the planet to live through and heal from. 

Not seeing Chloe where you expect her to be is terribly painful and unfortunately will be for a long time. I wish I could undo what happened. Like you, my heart screamed, "I want her back, I want her back!"  It is just awfully hard.

As much as it hurts, tears are your friend and so is expressing grief with words. I hope you'll keep writing and I hope being here and connecting with others who understand will be a comfort.  It takes time for the pain to not be so sharp and consuming.

Take care of you. 




Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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cooper49
I just lost my dog suddenly also one week ago today. On Wednesday he had trouble breathing then I took him to my vet. He drain some fluid , he would need a ultrasound or decide to put him. So I took him to a Emergency care place. To make a long story short he had a mess. I only had him for 4 years. He was a rescue a Poodle mix he was such a good dog. So I know how you are feeling because I feel thr same way. Hope u fine peace soon, hope it gets easier had time goes on. I am going to volunteer at a rescue to walk the dogs once or twice a week. I hope that fill a void. Take care

Marce Sheidy
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Darleen
Hi Chloesmom,

I am so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss.  So many of us have similar stories on this forum.  We truly understand your pain.  I had to make the decision to euthanize my 5 yr old Chihuahua Sambucca because if kidney failure from an unknown cause.  He was at the Emergency Vet Hosp for 4 days.  They were trying to give him IV fluids to rid his little body of the toxins that were building up.   They said he was doing better, then I received a call from the MD that his lungs were filling with fluid and he had gone through so much he said he would suffer.  I brought him home thinking I could delay things and he was so content being home.  After a few hours he started to really begin to breathe heavy and I had to bring him back that evening.  I had to not let him suffer anymore but every fiber of my being wanted to scream out "STOP" when the final injection was placed in his catheter.  That moment was the most excruciating, heart wrenching moment I have ever been through.  On 1/19/18 at 8:40 PM my precious Sambucca went to the Rainbow Bridge.   I have days where I still cry all day.  I miss him cuddling with me on the bed in the morning and while watching TV at night.  He would greet me at the top of the stairs with "Awoo" - his doggy version of "hello"  when I came home from work.  I see his ashes and pawprints and pictures and my heart feels ripped open each time.  I only find comfort in truly believing we will be reunited one day.   I hope the pain begins to lessen for us all on this forum.  I am sending you hugs and prayers Chloesmom.  Pls continue to post on this forum.  The support is so very helpful with this horrendous grieving process.

Darleen
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Chloesmom67
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories, and hugs and prayers and I’m so so sorry for all of your losses all too young just like my Chloe. I still cry daily because I miss her so much. Last Saturday we picked up her ashes, paw print and a lock of her hair and I just clung to everything as if I was holding her again. My husband just told me Chloe was in his dream last night. He was showing someone a video of her and then said look over there. She was running with a bunch of other animals. Of course I read the Rainbow Bridge poem several times a day and I told my husband I think she was sending you a message that she is happy and okay. Of course since he’s told me that I can’t stop crying. I hope she visits me soon too.
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