We had to put my buddy, my big black cat down and I’m so broken heart-ed. Albert was 16, he was a big black cat, not fat, just a big friendly guy of 22 pounds. He was the friendliest cat you would ever meet, he never hissed or scratched anyone and loved people and loved to be around people. One week he just wasn’t himself, he just wanted to be in dark places by himself and was sick to his stomach a lot. A few days later he started to come back around a bit but would hardly eat or drink. We took him to the vet and she found a mass in his abdomen, not sure if a tumor or cancer but pressing into his other organs. My girlfriend had a flash back to one of her previous cats that had the same thing happened and after numerous tests and vet visits had to put her to sleep. She didn’t want to put Albert through the same pain and we were also told that frequently older cats would not survive major surgery. We made the painful decision to put him to sleep before things really got worse. I was there holding him through it all and after he passed – the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. This was two weeks ago and I still cry everyday. I miss him so much, my heart is just broken in two. Albert used to come up in the morning if I wasn’t out of bed to check on me and give me heck in his own way for not being up yet. He would come to the front door to see me off every morning and would get off his favorite blanket on the couch and come over and welcome me home after work each day. It’s so painful now every morning and everyday after work when I open the door and he’s not there. I now feel so guilty and regretful I maybe should have stepped in and we should have done more tests and vet care. I didn’t want to see him suffer either but I feel so bad. Our house is so quiet now and is just not the same. I never realized how attached I was and how much I loved Albert until he was gone. He has left a big black void in my life that I don’t think I will every get over.
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