Buffy
Last night my mom and I had to say goodbye to her dog Pixie. Last week she stopped eating and started vomiting and drinking a lot of water. Saturday we took her to the vet and he found a mass. He said it was most likely cancer but we wanted a second opinion. Even though she felt bad, she had so much light in her eyes. I really didn't feel like it was her time to go. So yesterday we took her to a second vet. He said the same thing. We only had the option of surgery or just trying to make her comfortable until she goes. I didn't want to let her go, and I had read online, that maybe it wasn't cancer. There was a chance. A small one but a chance. So the vet suggested we take her to an emergency vet for surgery. I don't think my mom wanted to do it. She was pretty sure it was cancer. But I really wanted to save her. For my mom. I have two dogs. Pixie was my mom's only dog. Just last year, I lost my Mina, who was 17. My mom lost Havok shortly after, and he was 4 years younger. Pixie was only around 12. We really thought she had more time. This came on so suddenly. But... I pushed mom to do the surgery. I told her even if it was cancer, we would still bring her home. I promised Pixie we would come back for her... When the vet called in the middle of the night, it wasn't good news. There was a mass in her intestine, and she couldn't eat because of it. The vet could remove the mass but her gut wasn't healthy. If it tore or didn't heal correctly Pixie would die a painful death. I told Mom what we agreed. To bring her home. But the vet didn't seem to want to do it. She suggested putting her to sleep while she was already out. My mom thinking of Pixie and not wanting her to suffer, decided to do that. We didn't go back for her. She died without us. And that is tearing us apart. I feel so guilty pushing mom to do the surgery. With this virus stuff, we couldn't even go inside with her. I wanted to do the surgery to save her. All I wanted was to save her. But then she just ended up alone... And I feel like it's my fault. My heart hurts with the loss of Pixie but it's tearing apart because of my mom. She's in so much pain and I can do nothing to fix it. Pixie was her everything. Like Mina was mine. And now she's all alone and I just don't know what to do to make it better...
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Mar
I'm so sorry for your loss. You guys were just trying to give her another chance, dont blame yourself for trying...you both did it out of love. I also had a baby named Pixie, she passed away on March 16. She's been gone close to a month and it's been hard, haven't stopped crying since then..I miss her so much. I wish you both peace and comfort take good care of yourselves. 
Blessings 
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Buffy
I'm so sorry to hear you lost a Pixie, as well. Pixie was my mom's dog 100%. But after I lost my Mina last year, I guess I kind of latched onto her. She was the only small dog left in the house. She was white like my Mina. About the same size. And even though she was smaller than my two dogs, she was such a HUGE presence in the house. It's so hard right now, just knowing that she's no longer here. And I feel so sad and heartbroken for my mom, because I know just how terribly she's missing her. Pixie literally followed her everywhere. When my mom would leave, Pixie would wait for her to come back home. Sometimes she wouldn't even eat unless my mom was in the room. And my mom took SUCH good care of her. She was so happy with her...

I've been through this with Mina, and it was hard, so I know exactly how my mom is feeling. But I think this is even harder for me this time, because not only am I dealing with the loss of a beloved family member, I'm also dealing with knowing how much pain my mom is in and being unable to truly help her. And on top of that, I just feel guilty for how we left her. I did not want to leave her. And I hate that I made a false promise to her...

I know it's natural for us to blame ourselves. I blamed myself for Mina, and I had SUCH regret. I still have some regret over how I treated her in her last year. She was very old, and it was hard on me (I suffer from anxiety), taking care of her. I wasn't always as nice as I should have been. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, because that was just how much she meant to me. And I know that Pixie meant just as much to Mom.

But I am sorry to hear how hard it is for you, as well. It does help to know that we're not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Mar
Thank you!! Yes ,we are not alone.and we are here for each other..🙏🌈🐕🐈💔
Blessings 
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bernadettelevis
Hey I just had to put my dog down yesterday. He had a bloat and emergency surgery, after two days they had to open him again. since then he has stopped eating and has been getting worse...
Yesterday I had the choice of operating on him a 3rd time in 5 days with little chance of success or letting him go...
Believe me when I say that I feel so much Guilt and I feel that i failed him and maybe that 3rd surgery could have saved him...but he was so tired and weak...
Just know that Pixie knows how much you loved her and that you only wanted the best for her. She for sure knows that you did every thing to save her.
I feel your pain, it is undescribable and so much worse than i could have imagined...
Please don’t feel guilty, our babies know that we love them and we only tried to act in their best interest...Just know that your are not alone with the pain...I feel you
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Buffy
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, bernadette. Our situations sound very similar. It is so tough to make such a decision. But it sounds to me like you were also thinking about what was best for your dog. And I don't think that you failed him at all. You did everything you could. Sometimes... it seems there is just nothing we can do. But you're right. They do know how much we loved them. We at least got to tell Pixie how much we loved her before they took her for surgery. And I like to think that both of our babies are happy now. I just wish it wasn't so hard learning to live without them... There is such a void when they're gone.
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