Melkay718

My little girl left us today!
She was 12 years old and the BEST pet I have EVER had!! Making the decision to put her to sleep was NOT an easy one! They lymphoma that took over her life the last few weeks was the WORST! I just feel SO guilty for having to put her down today...my heart, head, and body hurt today because of it!!

I am BESIDE myself and don't know HOW to cope!! I am a 37 year old woman that (luckily) has never had to deal with THIS magnitude of grief! I DON'T know what to do!! ANY coping advice would be MUCH appreciated!!

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ML77
Hi there, I'm in a similar situation. We had to put our beloved 13-year cat to sleep yesterday. She had large cell lymphoma that had spread to her brain and was causing some really bad neurological symptoms. It feels like a part of my heart died as well. I have spent pretty much all day today in bed because I just can't bear to do anything. I don't know if I can manage going to work tomorrow.

I also feel guilty about it. Did I try enough? Did I give her enough of a chance? Should I have tried chemo? But rationally I know that I did the best thing for her. And that trying to prolong her life would have been only for my benefit at the cost of her pain and diminished quality of life. I just couldn't do that to her and as difficult as this is, I would rather be in pain myself than watch her go through it.

The advice I'll give to you, though, is that it does get better. I was in the same spot last year with my other cat, who was also beloved to me. I didn't go to the office for a week. This is not an easy thing because pets are really and truly members of our family. Slowly, gradually, it does somehow get better and the pain starts to feel less raw. But give yourself time. Our pets are always going to be a part of our hearts whether they are with us physically or not.
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Allicat
I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels losing a pet to cancer. My 11 year old cat passed away 3 weeks ago from a suspected brain tumor. I've been completely devastated over her loss. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You helped end her pain, and she's in a better place now. It hurt to put my cat down too, but at least I know she isn't suffering anymore. I myself am still learning how to cope but let me tell you some things :) posting here on the forum is helpful. Everybody here is so kind and supportive. We're all going through grief so we understand! Try writing a letter to your pet. I tried it, and it helped a little. Go out for some fresh air, maybe eat something you really like. Try to take it easy though and rest. I hope you begin to feel better.
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Melkay718
Thank you! It is nice to know that I am NOT alone! I am a mess!!!
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TabithasDaddy
I am sorry and do understand. People around you will expect you to 'get over it' much quicker that your heart wants to. Keep coming here, we all understand. I lost my baby to cancer over a year ago and am still in a 'one day at a time' mode. Everyone here is allowed to take their time healing.
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Miki_and_Me
I'm so sorry for your loss. First off its totally ok and normal to be a mess. Losing a loved companion of 12 years is devastating. Everyone grieves differently and allow yourself the time you need.

I wish there was a magic answer. I found in my case the only answer I can think of to ease the pain is to have her back. And I can't.

I'm still in full out grief mode myself. But I hear it over and over that time will help.

No. You are not alone. Here to listen.
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