Yesterday, my beautiful girl Billie-Cat had to go to the Rainbow Bridge at almost 16.  She's been with me since she was a tiny little nothing.  I'm shattered.  It doesn't feel like the ache will ever end.  I can't stop crying.  I suffered guilt with the choice I had to make.  This morning, my husband sent me this email. 

"I've been praying about Billie tonight and this is what helps me. She's not in pain (if she was in pain) anymore. She's not suffering, or listless, or in agony anymore. She is running, jumping, playing again like a kitten and most important, she is HAPPY!!!  To know she is HAPPY, makes me happy. It is a gift we bestowed on her! WE chose to take on the pain and heartache of being without her now, so that SHE would be free of this torture. THAT'S LOVE!!!!!  Making the VERY HARD decision because it's best, not for us by any means, but for BILLIE!!!  It breaks our hearts to see her lying on the floor with her head resting on the water bowl especially knowing what a SWEET, BEAUTIFUL spirit that resides within!  She doesn't deserve to be suffering that way and as much as it may crush us to be apart from her, I know we did whats best for HER! I would do it again knowing SHE'S happy now AND, we WILL see her again and what a joyful time that will be!!! We have been given a major blessing to have that wonderful lil girl in our lives and we also helped her by giving her a happy home in which to thrive and teach "THE OTHERS" how lucky they are to have us in their lives!!  So, will I shed more tears and snot because she isn't physically with us now? HELL YEAH!!  BUT, I believe, she loves us soooo much, that she won't be far from our hearts, thoughts, prayers, memories, or spiritually, until we see her again. MUCH LOVE, HUGS and PRAYERS
Quote 0 0

What a wonderful gift your husband is! It has been 4 months this weekend since I had to let my Simba go to the Rainbow Bridge. I miss him everyday, but he pain eases with time. My prayers you and your husband on the loss of Billie-Cat. As your husband noted, the pain and suffering are gone and your precious baby is enjoying a wonderful sunny day at the Bridge.

Quote 0 0

Oh, how I understand the pain, grief and sadness you are feeling right now. I just put my baby down after 15+ years of us together. It sounds like you had the same kind of relationship with your baby girl, Billie-Cat.

The first few days are the worst. I went through multiple boxes of tissue, bathroom tissue, name it. I hurt so bad that I physically made myself ill. I cried....I paced the floor....I even got so angry I hit my other dog. (which I apologized to her about) I so understand the emptiness you are feeling.....the void in your heart and house. When you look at her favorite spots, when you see her bed, dish, toys, blanket....all of hurts so badly.

I'm at day six now. Tomorrow will be the one week anniversary of finding him on the floor after our other dog attacked him. I rushed him to the emergency vet and they could have saved him....but he would not have been happy. It would have been misery for him. But selfishly...I wanted him with me and I still do.

I head knew the right thing to do.....but my heart was screaming otherwise. It was so difficult to make the decision to let him go.

How did I get through this past week. I cried....a lot. I still do, but not as much. I screamed....I hugged my husband...I stopped eating....I wasn't sleeping...I called my sister a million times (as she had been through this with her dog) and begged her to tell me it will get better....that the pain will go away. I let my feelings out.....I let myself grieve.....and I'm still doing that.

Shellie...I'm here to tell you.....let yourself grieve. Allow yourself to miss her, talk to her and tell her your feelings, cry, talk to other pet owners, do what you need to do. Then, you will find that the crying spells don't last quite as long and you begin to think "I can do this". Just let yourself grieve and work through your feelings. It will get better. Little by little. 

I also felt guilt and I even was second-guessing myself to the point that I went to his vet to talk about what "might have happened if". She explained all of his health issues and what surgery and blindness would have done to him. Yes, I could have done things differently, but he didn't deserve that....not for my sake. I did what was best for his sake.....just as you did what was best for your baby. You loved her enough to free heal let her go......just until you meet again. And you will meet her again!

My heart goes out to you Shellie. It really does. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings. All of us here are either going through or have been through letting our babies go. The pain and hurt is still so fresh for me....but I can see now that it will get better. will get better. The pain lessens, the tears are fewer, but you will always hold her love and your love in your heart forever.

Many blessings to you and your husband! You both were great parents and Billie-Cat was so very lucky to have you both!

Be well!
Chipper's Mom
Chipper's Mom

Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11) My heart, my love, my buddy! I miss you and love you so, so much! I can't wait to see you at the bridge! Love, Mommy

Lady "Ladybugs" (8/2/03 - 6/5/17) My sweet girl. Thanks for the walks, playtime, sock collection, boo boo kisses and love you gave all of us. We will miss you dearly! Until we meet again...we love you!
Quote 0 0
so sorry to hear of your loss of your little cat
what a lovely email though, i was touched to read that.
I hope you are ok, it is so unbearable  so painful i know.
this is a place that can help to share how you feel.

iam just getting ready to prepare myself for one year since my beloved little girl cat Mint passed away age 13.
i am not sure how i will feel.
i still get so choked up.
i am truly lucky to have her twin Ocelot who has helped me this past year, i wouldnot have coped without her

it is to me the worse thing to lose a beloved cat--or any pet
i can understand how you feel.....
it is wonderful you can share with your husband, i was lucky to do the same.

take care, god bless and i hope one day you will be able to smile at your beautiful memories you created together with your fur baby

Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry about Billie-cat. It's such a hard thing to do.
What an amazing husband you have. The letter oozes with love and wisdom. He is sooo right. Your baby is free from pain, her spirit is still around you. Let yourself grieve, as those are love tears, and losing a family member that you love so unconditionally is very hard. my thoughts and prayers are with you. Judy
Quote 0 0
Shellie I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Billie.  It seems like your husband is very supportive and has a positive outlook even though he is, of course, suffering too.  I lost my Missy girl 3 weeks ago tomorrow and I still cry pretty frequently about it but it brings me comfort to know that she is in the most wonderful place waiting for me.  Missy always loved cats so I'll bet she is giving Billie a ride around the meadow on her back right now while they wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge.  You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Quote 0 0