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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #166 
325 days today. When I’m in the back yard, I still long for you to be there. It feels like thee is something missing. We dog sat this weekend, there have been a few dogs in the yard this summer. It’s not t same. Sometimes I see you shine through in them. It’s odd. I miss you a lot again buddy. It comes in waves. The bone you hurried so completely is still there. I check once and a while to make sure. We are getting the bedroom painted in a few weeks and decided to put your bed away. Your bowls are still out, the dogs we sit for use them. You other bed is still out in the family room, I think we are putting that one away too. It’s fast approaching a year. It was an odd year Elvis. I miss you . Mom does too, a lot lately. We miss you in the yard l the change os seasons is hardest and like I dreaded the summer, the fall will be worse. It was “our” season. We hiked a lot you and I . Mostly in September and October. I have the fall leaves tattooed around your portrait. I’m so glad that I did that. Mom loves to look at it too. It’s nice to see you staring back when I look in the mirror, well I rambling now. Just wanted to tell you I love you and miss you buddy. I’m having a hard time again. Wish you were here. 🐾❤️
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Peteyd
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Blue_Laura

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Reply with quote  #167 
Hi Petey,

I wanted to drop in and say hello as well.  I still think of you and Elvis.  You two are a favorite love story of mine.  Reading about your adventures and seeing the pictures of you two, it is amazing and beautiful to me, the love between you and Elvis.

Take care,
Laura
 
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Reply with quote  #168 
Hi Peteyd

I oftentime wonder how you are coming along.
I too , think about you and your beautiful Elvis and how much love you had for each other.
Time continues to pass but our hearts remain broken. Like yourself , I dread the start of each new season. With summer, winter, spring and fall there come vivid memories of times we shared with our dear wonderful babies. It is very difficult and very sad but we have to focus on knowing that they are at peace now and that we will be with them once again when our time comes around.
I'm completely positive they are running and playing and having a grand old time while they wait for us😄

Do take care

Carol (Henry's Mom)
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Millie18

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Reply with quote  #169 
Hi Peteyd,

I've been thinking about you wondering how you were. Wondering whether you were working on the house in order to move away from all of the Elvis memories, painful, yet happy too. I was wondering whether some of the wounds have closed a bit.

I just passed my one year mark this week that I was dreading so much, but it came and went. I could still break down next week or next year, there's no rhyme or reason when the grief bubbles over. I have left the bed in the living room and the bowls and feeding stand in the kitchen. They are currently overflowing with lemons from my trees. They will stay even if I don't get another dog. I still consider my house a dog house until whenever.

I hope you and your wife are at least able to enjoy some of the dog sitting you have been doing. You have started to put some of Elvis' things away now. That didn't seem possible for you a few months ago. I know the fall is the hardest season. The 2 of you were constantly outdoors. That is so difficult to overcome. Having his bones buried in the back yard can still bring comfort knowing he's still in that backyard.

Anyway, just thinking about you and sending you and your wife strength to make it through the summer

Capture2.png 


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Diana

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Ronnie

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Reply with quote  #170 
I just lost my precious feline boy 2 weeks ago, and it aches so bad I can't stand it. I hope it gets better in time, but I can see by others' replies that it never goes away. He was not the first feline I had, but he was the most special and close to me, head and shoulders above all others. I want to just hold him right now and bury my nose in his neck and make him purr away. Our relationship was deep, and I understand exactly how you feel. I hope in time there is only good memories and less pain...my precious Talyn was only 11 years old, and his condition spiraled so quickly. he seemed fine when he trotted in that morning, and 12hrs later he was gone! I'm blown away. A piece of my soul has been taken from me. I see for you it's almost been a year and you still feel like it was yesterday...I also created a memorial for my special boy. I wish us all good memories..

Ronnie

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Ronnie A
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Reply with quote  #171 
Hi Ronnie,
I am so deeply sorry to hear that you lost your precious Talyn.
I lost my beautiful kitty Henry at 11 years old also. I always figured he might be around another 3 or 4 years at least. He passed away of cancer two months after his diagnosis. That doesn't mean that when I received the diagnosis I wasn't in total shock because I was. Shock and devastation.
It's been almost 7 months since his passing but it still seems pretty surreal.
I know exactly how you feel as does everyone in this forum and we all have a connection in our grief and despair. Please post as much as you need and want because it really can be very helpful. The people here are so wonderful and caring.
Take care of yourself and little by little the raw pain you are feeling right now will lessen. I know it seems hard to believe but it truly will .
Once again I am so very sorry for your loss.

Carol



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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #172 
Thank you all for you kind words and understanding hearts . For me it has been a process and Laura told me early on what I have found to be so true: The most difficult part is aligning the head with the heart. My heart still aches, but I no longer lose my breath. I would literally feel like I was suffocating. The pain was so sharp early on.. I cried all the time and felt like a part of me was missing. Empty, alone, depressed, angry, hopeless. My emotions would overwhelm me. I would sometimes feel guilty. Could I have done more? Should I have done more? It’s never enough. It would never be enough. If he lived for a hundred years , it would not be long enough. I love him with all of me. Completely. He was mine. I was his. My Elvis.
When he was young his hearing was so acute , he would jump up off of his bed and go to the door wagging his tail and start to bark when I was still almost 2 blocks away! I drove a Diesel engine car and they have a different sound than a regular car. At first my wife couldn’t understand how he knew because he would be up in front of that door a good 4 minutes before I would pull into the driveway. Amazing. He was amazing. He was eager to learn as a pup. Eyes wide , looking, waiting, wanting to please. He would get such joy pleasing me. I swear, he would light up with a simple “good boy” and if I said it excitedly because he just learned something new, he would lose his mind! He would jump up and inadvertently smash his huge cinder block of a head into mine attempting to lick my face. He was a character. So different. Quirky. Funny. Sweet. Goofy. Brave. Strong. Handsome. Loving. Sensitive. So sensitive. If my wife and I would argue he would get up and physically stand between us. Sometimes he would just go to whoever was angrier and push that big Block head against you. He was the peace keeper. He was my friend. My Elvis. I miss him a lot again. I am dreading the fall. It was our favorite. It is hard again for me. I miss you buddy. I feel lost again. I keep my heart open and do my best to “listen” for you. I pray that you will touch me someday. Somehow. In my heart. I will wait. Forever. 🐾❤️

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Peteyd
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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #173 
Thank you all for you kind words and understanding hearts . For me it has been a process and Laura told me early on what I have found to be so true: The most difficult part is aligning the head with the heart. My heart still aches, but I no longer lose my breath. I would literally feel like I was suffocating. The pain was so sharp early on.. I cried all the time and felt like a part of me was missing. Empty, alone, depressed, angry, hopeless. My emotions would overwhelm me. I would sometimes feel guilty. Could I have done more? Should I have done more? It’s never enough. It would never be enough. If he lived for a hundred years , it would not be long enough. I love him with all of me. Completely. He was mine. I was his. My Elvis.
When he was young his hearing was so acute , he would jump up off of his bed and go to the door wagging his tail and start to bark when I was still almost 2 blocks away! I drove a Diesel engine car and they have a different sound than a regular car. At first my wife couldn’t understand how he knew because he would be up in front of that door a good 4 minutes before I would pull into the driveway. Amazing. He was amazing. He was eager to learn as a pup. Eyes wide , looking, waiting, wanting to please. He would get such joy pleasing me. I swear, he would light up with a simple “good boy” and if I said it excitedly because he just learned something new, he would lose his mind! He would jump up and inadvertently smash his huge cinder block of a head into mine attempting to lick my face. He was a character. So different. Quirky. Funny. Sweet. Goofy. Brave. Strong. Handsome. Loving. Sensitive. So sensitive. If my wife and I would argue he would get up and physically stand between us. Sometimes he would just go to whoever was angrier and push that big Block head against you. He was the peace keeper. He was my friend. My Elvis. I miss him a lot again. I am dreading the fall. It was our favorite. It is hard again for me. I miss you buddy. I feel lost again. I keep my heart open and do my best to “listen” for you. I pray that you will touch me someday. Somehow. In my heart. I will wait. Forever. 🐾❤️

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Peteyd
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #174 
Hi Pete
I’ve held off responding to your posts, searching for the right words but only coming up blank. I know the grief is different after almost a year. Looking back at the months when we felt death was better than the pain, still can’t deny that one, but something made us mindlessly keep going. As the quote goes * It doesn’t get better, it gets different” Somedays the ride home still puts a knot in my stomach and brings tears to the surface and some days I’m just mad as hell about the injustice. Time becomes a word with little meaning because in a heartbeat it can be brought back and we feel wasn’t it just yesterday this yard was his/hers? ‘
Aww the bone, tangible proof of Elvis leaving his first sign Pete. It wasn’t a coincidence, that was for you❣️🐾❣️ The amazing tat that stares back at you in the mirror, the fall leaves surrounding your hiking bud, he’ll be with you on those walks if you go. On you as well as running ahead to one of his ponds, creeks or lakes which he loves so much.
Blue Laura as you said is right. The heart and mind work in two very different manners. When mine align I’ll let you know. I think mourning is our debt that we can never reconcile because we shared a love that has no equal or greater value. We are forever indebted to them, it just is what it is,
Wishing for you many signs from your magnificent soulmate, Elvis,,,,,

Attached Images
jpeg 03189B9D-E596-45D4-9AB3-482E05C5D7AA.jpeg (174.53 KB, 7 views)


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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #175 
Thank you Lynn,
I am going through a rough patch again. Your words are so true. It doesn’t get better, it gets different. Sometimes I feel as if he is still here, I forget, even after so much time. I pulled into the garage the other day and for a split second, I thought he would be there , tail wagging, barking, waiting. I don’t know why , I imagine this journey is different for everyone yet the same. The pain can cut into your heart and steal your breath sometimes. Thank God it is not so sharp most times. It has eased a bit, but I still have my moments. My wife reminds me of how good I was to him and I can find comfort in that. She tells me how much he loved me and that she has never witnessed love in that way, so beautiful. I like to believe it. I hope that it is true. In a million years I could not do enough for him. It would never be enough, that’s the ironic part. I need to have more acceptance I suppose. I am grateful for this place. Somewhere I can go and be understood. I hope that you are doing well. I know that I’m not the only one who suffers. I wish I had some answers,. Time. Love

Be well,
Pete🐾❤️

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Peteyd
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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #176 
Thank you Lynn,
I am going through a rough patch again. Your words are so true. It doesn’t get better, it gets different. Sometimes I feel as if he is still here, I forget, even after so much time. I pulled into the garage the other day and for a split second, I thought he would be there , tail wagging, barking, waiting. I don’t know why , I imagine this journey is different for everyone yet the same. The pain can cut into your heart and steal your breath sometimes. Thank God it is not so sharp most times. It has eased a bit, but I still have my moments. My wife reminds me of how good I was to him and I can find comfort in that. She tells me how much he loved me and that she has never witnessed love in that way, so beautiful. I like to believe it. I hope that it is true. In a million years I could not do enough for him. It would never be enough, that’s the ironic part. I need to have more acceptance I suppose. I am grateful for this place. Somewhere I can go and be understood. I hope that you are doing well. I know that I’m not the only one who suffers. I wish I had some answers,. Time. Love

Be well,
Pete🐾❤️

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Peteyd
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