Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 11 of 11     «   Prev   8   9   10   11
Peteyd

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 66
Reply with quote  #151 
137 days. Nearly 5 months. Almost half a year. It seems like yesterday we were playing in the back yard with the ball. Elvis carried a tennis ball with him everywhere. His favorite toy. I could buy him expensive toys, complex and interesting toys. He loved that ball more than any of them. I miss you Elvis. I think about you every day. All the time. People tell me to move on. How’s? I would give anything to spend a little more time with you. I am still waiting for a sign from you. I try to remain open in my heart and in my mind. I love you so much Elvis. You were my best buddy. I still feel lost on Saturday. I have not been to the park. I have not been to the lake. I have not gone to any of the places we went. It would be to hard. I’m sitting inside. Winter in New York. I think of spring and my heart just gets heavy again. I’m grateful that I had eleven years and I feel cheated that it was only eleven. I miss you Elvis. I love and miss you more than ever buddy. ❤️🐾
__________________
Peteyd
0
Millie18

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 451
Reply with quote  #152 
Thinking about you Pete. On my trip I thought about Millie a lot. It just won't go away, that eternal ache. Elvis won't leave you. That void will always be there in some capacity. Mine has gotten much, much smaller, but I've accepted that it just won't go away completely. I hope that one day you'll be able to go back to all those wonderful places where you and Elvis spent all that great time together and smile thinking about all those great memories. Hoping you'll be able to see Elvis in your dreams one day.
__________________
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
0
155

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 129
Reply with quote  #153 
Peteyd,
I have followed your journey with Elvis from the start. It is likly the hardest journey you will ever take.
My friend said to me as I was grieving the passing of my cat Henry that when you think about it I'm sure there are more people who have had pets than people who haven't. And those people millions and millions of them have lost them also.
I was able to take a small margin of comfort in this because I realized just how alone I was not. You are not alone in your pain, you have everyone who knows how you feel and they all want you to feel better... So much better. Your precious boy is gone.. but I'm sure he's peaceful , content and happy and wishing the very same for you. Everyone I've spoken to since my Henry has told me theyve been through it..they know how painful and gut wrenching it is. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops ..'how dare all you people just go on with your lives when my Henry is gone!' But.. they shouted it right back at me.
I guess the only real tangible thing I had left was the caring and support from other people..even strangers.
All I wanted was Henry back . I longed for him so badly that I couldn't breathe. I was willing myself to die.

But friends , family and this forum have helped immensley. Henry would not want me to be like this and they've helped me realize that too.

Elvis had a wonderful buddy in you. It's just not fair that our babies can't live as long as us but he wants to see you happy.
He needs to see you happy.

Many hugs
Carol
0
BrodysMama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 27
Reply with quote  #154 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peteyd
I am so lost, I feel l8ke I can’t go on without him. My life feels empty. I can not accept this. I want him back. It is too much to bear. I can’t imagine my life without him. What is the point. I am not eating. Everyone thinks I’m crazy. I miss him so much, I can’t stop crying. Wailing from deep down like I never have before. It is the darkest time I have ever experienced. I’m not equipped. He is all I think about. I’m begging for some kind of relief. Please God if you are there please help me. I spiral downward so quickly. I can’t do this much longer. It’s too much to bear. My Elvis. I never loved anything so much. It’s too much. It’s just too much . Please God if you are there please hear me. I am begging for some kind of relief from this . I can’t take this pain , my heart is just so heavy and the sadness sucks the life from me. I still loose my breathe. When will I get some relief from this. Will I ever. I miss you Elvis. I am parked in front of the river where we used to walk. I loved taking you here. It is close to the house so sometimes I would go in my pajamas. We would come early on Saturday mornings and sometimes very late at night. I loved coming here and letting you out of the car to sniff around. We would walk together. I loved coming here. We came in a foot of snow and the trail was non existent, but we managed. We came in the heat of the summer and the bugs were just awful but we managed. We came here in the fall when the leaves were turning and it was so beautiful. The weather was perfect. A little cool, you loved that. Me too. Our favorite time of year. We would walk and I would speak to,you and you would listen. Sometimes you would get excited at something I said and you would jump up and lick me in the face. You knew what I was talking about. You understood me. I would laugh and get such a kick out of our communication. It was perfect. We understood each other perfectly. I am here right now Elvis. I am at the river parked in the car looking at the river. I got out and walked a bit, but it wasn’t the same. I tried so hard to imagine you with me, but it hurt. It hurt so bad, it stole my breathe. My heart ached so I went back to the car. I’m here Elvis. I’m sitting in the car, remembering our time here and wishing I could have one more walk here. Just one more moment together, God I miss you so much Elvis. I’m here and you are not. I’m lost without you Elvis. Mom an I are fighting and things are not good. We both miss you. I am suffering without you. You were my best friend Elvis. I loved our time together more than anything. I’m lost without you. God if you exist please help me. Elvis you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish you were here with me right now . I love you Elvis. Love-Love.
0
BrodysMama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 27
Reply with quote  #155 
im so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.  I read your words and its as if you are in my heart speaking the words for me.  I can so identify with all your emotions. We lost our precious boy, Brody yesterday morning and the pain is literally taking my breath away. Cancer sucks.. I know you understand..
0
Peteyd

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 66
Reply with quote  #156 
I do understand, and I am sorry. So sorry. There is nothing at all that I can say that will make you feel better. I wish that there were. This process is just that. A process. It is different for everyone and can be challenging to say the least. I am here for you. If you’d like to message me , feel free. I can only tell you what I did to get through some of the toughest times. It is still hard sometimes. I like to think I’m healing, but some days I’m not so sure. I’m so sorry that you Brody is gone. Remember him and keep him in your heart. He is there, deep down inside your soul. He’s there. Always.

Pete🐾❤️

__________________
Peteyd
0
BrodysMama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 27
Reply with quote  #157 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peteyd
I do understand, and I am sorry. So sorry. There is nothing at all that I can say that will make you feel better. I wish that there were. This process is just that. A process. It is different for everyone and can be challenging to say the least. I am here for you. If you’d like to message me , feel free. I can only tell you what I did to get through some of the toughest times. It is still hard sometimes. I like to think I’m healing, but some days I’m not so sure. I’m so sorry that you Brody is gone. Remember him and keep him in your heart. He is there, deep down inside your soul. He’s there. Always.

Pete🐾❤️
0
BrodysMama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 27
Reply with quote  #158 
That unconditional love and deep connection that we developed over the years with our soul dogs makes it so hard to live without them now. I also am struggling with some guilt feelings over the management of his last two days with vets. Hindsight is always 20/20 and there are things I certainly would have done differently if I could do it over. Sigh. 😔
I ordered a book from Amazon that many others had recommended to me. It’s called, “Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates.” Just started reading it and already it has provided some much needed healing. I highly recommend it to anyone that has lost their pet. My boy’s presence was so huge. There definitely is a big space in the air without him here. Hugs to all of you who are missing your fur babies. I understand your pain and I’m here for you. 💔🙏🏼🐾
0
BrodysMama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 27
Reply with quote  #159 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peteyd
I do understand, and I am sorry. So sorry. There is nothing at all that I can say that will make you feel better. I wish that there were. This process is just that. A process. It is different for everyone and can be challenging to say the least. I am here for you. If you’d like to message me , feel free. I can only tell you what I did to get through some of the toughest times. It is still hard sometimes. I like to think I’m healing, but some days I’m not so sure. I’m so sorry that you Brody is gone. Remember him and keep him in your heart. He is there, deep down inside your soul. He’s there. Always.

Pete🐾❤️


Pete,
Here's the post I wrote about my boy..(photos)...
https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/what-we-had-should-never-have-ended-10026556?pid=1307224538#post1307224538
0
Peteyd

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 66
Reply with quote  #160 
Today is 171 days that your gone. Not a day goes by that I’m not thinking about you. Mom misses you too buddy. I heard her watching videos of you yesterday. She does it when I’m not around, she try’s so hard not to talk about you in front of me cause she knows I’m likely to fall apart. I was watching one the other day of you chasing a groundhog. I was running behind you yelling for you to leave it. You were around 2 or 3 years old. Your muzzle was so black and your coat was so shiny. Your waist was small and you chest was huge. Such a beautiful boy. So strong. I miss you Elvis. The other day I woke up and thought I heard you crying. It was a bird outside my window. My heart skipped a beat as I was still groggy. I was sad when I realized it wasn’t you. I’m still hoping you will come to me in some way. I’ll listen,and wait. I’ll remain open in my heart and mind. I will wait forever. I love you Elvis.

Pete/ Dad
🐾❤️

__________________
Peteyd
0
Peteyd

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 66
Reply with quote  #161 
It has been 209 since I have had the privilege to touch you. To hold your huge head in my hands and kiss you. I would give just about anything to be a able to spend 5 minutes with you. It wouldn’t be enough. It would never be enough. I still miss you terribly Elvis. I think about you every time I come home from work. Every time I go into the yard. Spring is coming and I could care less. I have no desire to clean up the yard, or even be outside. Mom will be doing that this year. She is doing better than me. She watches a few dogs here and there. We have had 3 who have spent a long weekend at our house. I let them lie on your bed. It’s still out. So is your bowls. I will not let them play with your favorite toys. They are put away upstairs in my dresser. So are you coats, leashes, and collars. Your favorite collar is hanging from my mirror in my car. I touch it every morning. God I miss you buddy. I sometimes see your spirit shine through in theses fellows we watch. It’s uncanny. I know you are close, I feel it. I must sound like a nut, but I don’t care. My world is not the same Elvis. I really wish you were here with me buddy. I love you. Please stay close to me, I’m always looking for you. Every day, all the time. Please find your way into my heart buddy. I love you Elvis. Love-Love 🐾❤️
__________________
Peteyd
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,080
Reply with quote  #162 
You don’t sound like a nut Pete, not at all.
I heard something a few weeks ago that really made me think, or rethink. A man talked about holding his fathers head as he died, the death was expected, he was terminal. He said the moment of death changed him forever. His every thought centered on his father consumed his mind day and night. Everything felt as if it had just happened, or hadn’t. As if he should turn around and see him, but couldn’t,,,
Like us
Looking back he now feels that at that moment of the death of his body his soul became at one with his.
I know if kindof sounds crazy but when I think of how my Tankie feels like she’s everywhere, all around me, yet nowhere it made sense. We will never grasp our spirituality until we are one but we definitely have spiritual feelings. The human side wants to see and touch, those are our realities.
Pete, 3 days after Tankie died something happened and I was forced to leave the house. The truck radio was on and a melancholy song was playing and I quickly changed the station. The deejay was a woman who said I have a message to share, she said someone called it in and asked that it be read, this was it-
* I love you, I’m at rest, I’ve come home*
I don’t know how long it was before I let my breath out. This was a country station and I’ve never heard them do something like that.
I took my phone out and it’s been in my notes every since.
Up until recently when I read it I’ve always felt the *home* part was wherever you go when you die. But Tankie’s home was here, where she was born and where she died.
Maybe we don’t have to look as hard as we do to feel them,,,,,

Attached Images
jpeg 0BAFD2CD-96CF-42FE-84D7-045513C8C7F6.jpeg (45.84 KB, 4 views)


__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

0
Millie18

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 451
Reply with quote  #163 

Pete,

Think about you and Elvis often wondering how you are doing. And just so you know, you never sound nuts. The process and the loss are nuts, make us feel nuts.

Lynn gave us much to think about above. It's so true, they're with us even though they're no longer with us.

I'm glad you are able to take in some other pups here and there. I've been housesitting and dog walking for friends. It's nice to be around different dogs without the expectation that they will be a replacement for our lost friends.

 


__________________
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.