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Millie18

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Reply with quote  #136 
What a stunning boy! Just gorgeous! I know, it's bittersweet looking at those photos. I finally was able to download Millie's photos and videos off of my phone.

All of my cables stopped working and I was terrified that if my old phone died I would lose her photos forever. I bought 4 different cables to make sure that at least 1 of them might work. Spent 2 days sorting through all of those pics. Very glad I did. That's all we have left of their physical being. I hope you will one day truly enjoy seeing your boy's photos. Once you move from your old home to the new one you'll have those photos along with your tattoo to remember him by.

I hope your holidays run smoothly. I won't be on the forum much. Between my grad school application deadline looming, my trip and a nightmarish work situation, I'll need to disconnect for a while. I wish you the  best and if you need to reach me you can always PM me. Take good care of yourself.



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Diana

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SummerBear2018

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Reply with quote  #137 
oh my goodness elvis is just so handsome! He is so strong and soft at the same time. I want to reach through these photos and squeeze him. Was he shepherd/pit mix? That's what Summer was! 

I volunteered at the shelter tonight. There's a dog that looks just like Elvis! I will try and get a picture of him when I am there Wednesday - maybe it will make you smile?

What year do you think Elvis was at this peak? I think back at my Summer and can now look at pictures without too much pain (just tears). I think she peaked around 4 years old. So soft and strong and fiesty and crazy but perfect. 


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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #138 
Elvis was all Pit bull . His mother was a Pit Mix though, she had long legs. His dad was all Pit, huge block head, all muscle. I will post a pic of them . Elvis peaked around 5 I would say. I mean he was Athletic even as an old guy, 8, 9 and 10. That pic of him catching the frisbee was taken when he was 9 . But as far as his peak, I would say between the ages of 2 and 5 he was a force to be reckoned with. A beast. A beautiful majestic beast. He was so fast. Once when we were hiking he almost ran down a deer! I’m so glad he didn’t, I hated when he would catch groundhogs. I suppose it’s natural for them, and hiking off leash I often did not have the kind of control needed to prevent it. He would wande off the trails and hunt. He would get a few every year. A force to be reckoned with. Summer that’s great that you are volunteering at the shelter. Being around dogs is good for the soul. For me anyway. My wife and I go every few weeks and stop in and walk dogs. We are approved to foster and adopt too. I will wait to get a forever dog. It’s too soon for me. We will be moving in the spring anyway and I’d. Like to be settled in before I get another dog. I’m glad you are healing. It’s a process for sure. I miss my Elvis every day. The holidays will be hard for me. He was my best buddy. I miss him dearly. Hope you continue to heal. I hope you find peace in your heart. You will make a great dog Mom again someday to some lucky dog. Keep moving forward.
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Peteyd
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #139 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peteyd
Came across some pics of my buddy. I am missing him terribly this weekend. Elvis the 80 pound lap dog! A pic of him as a puppy, waking me up. Elvis was the best at frisbee too! I miss you buddy.

Pete I never commented on the picture with Elvis in your lap. That smile. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more content man🥰,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #140 
Thanks Lynn,
He truly filled me. I am missing him so much lately. One step forward two steps back. This has been my journey thus far. I long for his soft warmth as the season changes. I made it through the fall which was our favorite.. Winter approaches and I’m dreading the holidays. We used to go to the local nursery and pick out a huge tree. The three of us. A family. There are reindeer, sheep, goats, and pigs there for the kids to pet. Santa and hot coco. Amazing cinnamon doughnuts and the smell of fresh cut pine everywhere. Elvis would stare at the pigs through the fence and I would have to really be on my toes. He wanted to eat those Pigs. No bones about it. He went into predator mode . I did not condone it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a thrill seeing the beast in him come out a little. Standing tall, chest out, head and ears at attention. He was a spectacular beast. Strong and smart. Always looking, learning. Perfect. It brought me so much joy doing that. I looked forward to it.
There will be no nursery this year. No tree. No joy. I am still very sad. I still cry. I don’t know what else to say. I miss you buddy.🐾

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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #141 
It really is a wonder to have this amazing bond with an animal who has such capabilities yet loves You and we know they’d give their lives for us. Makes the loss epic. Life changing.
Elvis is such a beast! Perfect example of a Pit and yes, you can see his intelligence shining through.
I read somewhere that looking for signs is like trying to remember something, the minute you stop trying so hard it will come to you. ❣️🐾❣️
I love your Christmas traditions but I know they just can’t happen, not now. I’d really like to just sleep through the end of the year. But the New Year will bring no escape because Tankie’s 1yr will ne on the 3rd. Still one step forward and u know the rest, but I’m skipping ahead here and there these days. Sometimes that almost makes me feel guilty.
Pete I see you reaching out to others and it makes me smile. We are all travelers on a road we are just winging are way over. I fall on my arse all the time but this has made us deeply empathetic to the pain we read in others words and we end up reaching out. Paying it forward I guess, I hope the week is gentle,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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SummerBear2018

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Reply with quote  #142 
Peteyd - how was the holiday for you? I know for me it was super tough. 

I agree with Lynn that Elvis seems like such an amazing beast. He was so beautiful. Theses weeks are really tough for me and it is really hard for me to get motivated to do anything. I just dont feel like myself at all anymore 
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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #143 
Latley the pain is sharp again. I know what you mean about feeling guilty when things are ok. It’s like how dare you forget that their gone. Gone forever. I think that it ok to move forward. But believe me, I understand.. I think your righ Lynn, I’m trying too hard to connect with him. I’ve been going to yoga 3 times a week for two months. I meditate. I try and remain open, and “ listen” maybe I’m trying too hard. Sometimes I hear him. Last Saturday I woke up and heard him crying. It was a bird outside my window. My heart sank and I started the day with tears. Summer, the holidays have been tough for me. I have no desire to celebrate. We will not decorate the house this year. I don’t even think we will get a tree. My wife and I are spending Christmas alone. We spent Thanksgiving in a spa hotel and got massages and did nothing. We went to dinner in th hotel, had a bottle of wine and the next day, it was over. Theses holidays are crazy. Too much . My favorite Christmas was when Elvis was 4 months old. His first Christmas with us. I remember how our family members were surprised that we were not attending . We decide to stay home with our new puppy. We had started our own family tradition. A family of 3. Just me, my wife, and Elvis. God I will miss that. So yeah, I’m having a hard time with this season. It sucks. I understand not being motivated. When I become paralyzed, I just say to myself, Elvis wouldn’t want this. He would want me to be happy. Summerbear would not want you to be so sad. When my wife and I would argue he would get this look of concern on his face. He would come over and physically nudge one of us with his snout. Like he was saying, stop guys please stop. We would stop most times. He was the peace keeper. He was Love. We usto say Love-Love Elvis and he would wag his whole body from the waist down. Such a beautiful creature. Makes the loss epic. I really don’t know what else to say guys.. I’m grateful for you guys because you understand. Praying for you. Always.

Pete

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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #144 
Yea the Holidays are just not good, at all. This time last year Thanksgiving, her Birthday and the bld results that changed everything happened within 5 days. My mind is reliving it all step by heartbreaking step. Now until Jan third we were just trying to keep her with us.
One step at a time even though our hearts protest.
Hang in there guys. our kids would want us to have moments of peace and comfort,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Peteyd

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Reply with quote  #145 
Today is 101 days that my Elvis is gone. My heart is still broken. I am very depressed. My wife also lost her Mother 3 weeks ago and she is depressed too. She was my rock throughout the loss of Elvis. I am doing my best to be there for her, but I often fall short. We are two depressed people trying to get through the holiday season. There will be no tree this year. No decorating. No visit to the local nursery for cider and doughnuts. We are also in the late stages of finalizing plans from an architect to start a renovation. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a good idea at all. This move has been on the table for a long time. It would cut ,y commute in half. I’m rambling now. Sorry, I know this is a site for pet loss. I miss my Elvis something fierce. Somehow he kept me grounded. Somehow if he were here it would all be ok. I’m lost. God help me I pray for peace . I pray for stillness in my heart. I pray that everyone who lost a beloved pet find peace too. I’m.grateful for the people here who care. I don’t know what else to say.
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Peteyd
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #146 
I’m so sorry for your wife’s loss Pete.
Please never think what effects you is limited in anyway to what you can share. This does matter, very much. Everything that happens after the loss of our beloved babies is even harder to handle. This is a biggie. This *joyful* season s a biggie. Your house is a biggie. Another death is a compound grief. It’s freaking crazy hard.
You’ve been a powerful couple in the grieving journey with Elvis. Keep being there, keep being there for each other. You very well remember the first weeks, nothing could reach you. But you wrote and spilled your guts over and over because that’s all there was and you desperately needed it. That connection. Pete is she the kind that would do that? Maybe you could find an online or email group similar to this. You can just say things here that don’t come out right in person. The anonymity can be very encouraging.
I know your love for her, (Elvis’s love for her will too), will be what she needs and feels. And patience, lots of patience❣️Two big long hugs,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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poodlemomof2

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Reply with quote  #147 
My 12 year old standard poodles Tessie has mast cell mammary tumors, due in part to my not spaying her until 6 years old.  However after starting chemo pills two weeks ago she seemed to rally acting like her old self, running, playing ball, eating, jumping on the bed being playful.. but since yesterday she seemed to crash, and is not herself.  Im heartbroken, as I am not ready to let go, going to see the oncologist at 2 pm.  My 5 yr old male poodle is feeling it too.. I feel lost..........
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Mary Ahearn
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