bluebubble
We lost our bulldog Piper tonight. It was so sudden - she was sick on Friday, we took her to the vet who gave us medicine to treat her for a UTI.  Today, full liver failure and she was gone. We have two small children and with no one to watch them we couldn't even be there when she went. I can't even go to the vet now to say goodbye. 

My husband and I are beside ourselves. How do we deal with this huge gaping wound in our lives? 

Piper.jpg 
Quote 0 0
MyTacoBaby
Your baby was so cute. I hate the empty, lost feeling. I totally relate. We have to try one hour at a time, one day at a time is all I know. I am so sorry for your pain.
Quote 0 0
Sadiesmom061308
I am sorry for your loss. It is a shock when they leave us. Keep talking on this forum. Everyone here feels the same way. It is one day at a time. Some more bearable than others. A big hug for you
Quote 0 0
bluebubble
Thanks so much for your kind words. I think we are still in shock :(
There are reminders of her everywhere. I don't want to go near my car where there are still hairs on the seat from when I rushed her to the vet yesterday. I hate to think of her being scared and alone in the vet ICU and then passing. I wish I could have scratched her ear one more time, had one more cuddle, at least been able to say goodbye.
Quote 0 0
GabesMom
Hi Bluebubble. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. My dog died 2 months ago under the same circumstances. Because the toxins from his liver & kidneys failing, he didn't know me when he died.  All I can say is you are not alone. I feel for you. I hope today you find some gentleness 
Gabe's Mom
Quote 0 0
JerseyNonna
bluebubble, i'm so sorry to read that your loss of piper was so sudden, mine was too so I know that we do go into shock when the loss is so close and so unexpected.  one thing I want you to remember is that our dear loved companions understand more about us humans they love then perhaps we do of them.  piper really didn't leave the family and more than likely her spirit is right back in the home with all of you...only her tired earthly vessel left your lives.  piper is now safely across the bridge with the rest of our loved companions in a younger, healthier form with no pain, no illnesses and omg I bet they are playing hard and enjoying themselves.  when I had to rush my service dog roxie to the emergency vet the night after Christmas and told by doc that her heart stopped during his ultrasound of her chest initially I approved cpr to bring her back to me - then I received the thought that "wow, was that a selfish thing to do" and after they established a weak heartbeat again that I sensed was not a viable one I asked to see rox to tell her I was going to let her finish crossing the bridge so she didn't have to come back to her body that was failing her.  to this day I replay that final day over and over and while I know everyone involved did everything they could to save my girl, it just wasn't meant to be.  i'm still scared of daily life without my girl who helped me make the best of each day but i'm trying to honor her memory and just taking steps a bit smaller and more careful.  I still cry throughout the day here and there and it is hard to fill that void they leave physically in our homes and in our hearts - but I have sensed and smelled roxie at home since her passing and every now and then I catch a shadow that looks like a quick visual.  you are in a forum here where all of us understand how deep the loss cuts us and in all honesty i'll say there are still bad grief days ahead, but there are also good ones ahead.  we are all here for you and please keep talking to piper when you can - it can be out loud or within your thoughts.  piper will hear and continue to watch over "her family" in spirit as she always has.  look into your heart deeply to that place where she put all her love for you for your safekeeping much as she took your love for her with her as she crossed to a most wonderful place where she knows she will see you all again.  hon, it is difficult at times but God never gives us more than he knows we can handle and learn from - learn that the loss is a temporary separation and you will be reunited in his glory.  many many hugs and prayers to all of you
JerseyNonna
Quote 0 0
bluebubble
Thank you so much.

We were able to go in and say goodbye to her (although she was gone, we needed that closure I think). She looked peaceful...like she was sleeping. 

I have my kids, so I am trying to be strong and not totally lose it, but I don't know what to do with myself. Do I put away her things? Leave them for a while? I feel frozen with pain.
Quote 0 0
JerseyNonna
aaww hon your question about piper's things is one that nobody else can answer for you.  in all honesty, I still have roxie's food bowl in it's stand (though it has long since been cleaned and empty) and her toys still in her basket on the floor by her crate (which is still open as if waiting for her to come back and lay in it).  if piper's things being out is too hurtful for you all right now, simply put them in a box and put the box in a closet.  one day when you are ready they will still be there for you all to have some really good memories of piper from.   some days I too still feel that frozen in pain type feeling though these days it does pass a bit quicker - it still leaves me almost shaken to the bone with a loss so darned deep that some days I almost question why she had to be taken from me but my faith keeps me from doing that as it isn't my place to question God's divine plan whether we agree with it or not.  glad to hear you were able to get closure with piper's sleeping earthen body and i'm sure her spirit was there listening to all you said - though I also feel she knew your thoughts and feelings that night she left you all.  as much as you are trying to show your kids a strong mama exterior, you need to grieve as you need for your own good.  if you have to wait to shed your tears until after the kids go to bed then please take that time to talk to piper and cry as you need to (it does cleanse all the yuck from us).  healing takes place in it's time and if you have a faith you believe in then it can help you with any loss.  today for me is one of those tsunami days again where i'm crying at the drop of a dime and missing my roxie so deeply even though I know she is in such a wonderful place...the grief ebbs and flows as do the tides - just some days the tide rises a bit higher than normal.   hope you feel even just a wee bit better but remember we're all in this nightmare together.   many many hugs
JerseyNonna
Quote 0 0
bluebubble
We just heard from the vet that it was lymphatic lymphoma. 
It seems like she had a rapid decline, so we hope this means she wasn't suffering too badly before she got really sick on Friday.

Bulldogs are so stoic they don't let you know what is going on. :(
Quote 0 0