This is rough. I have been pondering how to write this for over a week. I am still not sure if I will post it when done.
People always picked on me for spoiling my pups but I didn't care. I came into possession of my beagle because my brother and his wife divorced and neither one wanted her. I never wanted to get a pet and become attached to it but I felt so bad for the poor thing. She was just so terrified and scared of everything. The first few years of her life where not filled with much fun or love. I decided to take her and once that happened she became a new dog. I also took care of my brother's dog because he was pretty irresponsible and never looked after her, so the three of us became inseparable. Talk about spoiled dogs. I even bought a house with a fenced in yard so there would be more room for them to play around in. We had a blast though. We had lots of fun over the years being together. I thought it would last forever.
It was a typical day. We slept in because we are lazy and love to sleep in on the weekends. We got up for breakfast and then the three of us started our fun filled Saturday. I mowed the yard and cleaned up around the house; they worked on their tans and kept watch over our domain. We jumped into the truck and ran around doing errands. We went shopping, went to toss yard clippings out and even stopped by to visit grandma on the way home. My girl sat on my lap the whole ride home. The other pup took up her spot on the floorboard. All was good. We got home and had dinner, my two pups even snuck a bite off my plate but I could never get mad at them. We wound down for the night and watched Minions before heading to bed. A typical day for us, fun and relaxation.
I woke up the next morning to let them out. My lazy beagle sometimes went ahead so I thought nothing of it when I woke up and didn't see her next to me. After some butt scratching I finally managed to pry the basset hound off me and headed for the living room to let them out. I am blind without my glasses so I thought I missed when my beagle snuck past me into the backyard. I went and corrected that little problem and went outside to run around with them and noticed my girl wasn't out there with her sister. I got worried and began a frantic search. I found her in her little nest that I had made in a closet. It had a fluffy blanket and toys and she would hide in it when any Florida storms came by and I was not home to snuggle her and keep her safe. She had passed in the night. The devastation was unbearable. It was the first day of May. I cried for hours next to her body until my parents came over to help out. My dad helped me bury her in the corner of the yard.
It hasn't gotten any better. I have lost all appetite. Nothing is fun anymore. I haven't told anyone at work or any friends. Aside from my immediate family, no one else knows. I don't think I can deal with tons of people all asking the same stupid questions now. How did she die, die she look sick, it will be ok, you have to move on. Blah blah blah I would probably lose it and punch someone in the face. I just don't want to hear it. To make matters worse, she had all sorts of social media accounts. I cringe every time I would get an email alert on my phone for one of them. I deleted most of them already. My poor other pup is no better off. She won't eat; I have had to take her to the vet for a checkup. Physically nothing is wrong but she is losing weight. We mope around the house when I get home. She used to be very independent but now will not stop crying if I even leave the same room she is in. Sometimes we can't even be in the house. We go to the park and just sit there and watch everyone go by. I am trying to maintain a regular schedule for her sake but nothing is going to plan.
I was never a big fan of celebrating my birthday. It was just never a big deal to me. Not that I hated it or anything, to me it was just another day. From now on though I will always associate this birthday with her death. I don't even remember what I did that day. I know folks called and emailed me about it. I don't think I replied to any of them. It just doesn't matter to me any more. It will be two weeks since she left me. I don't feel any better. The house seems empty. I keep finding her chewy toys and my socks everywhere. (she used to take and hide them.) The squirrels in the backyard have noticed she is gone. They now dare to walk around the yard and show off. We are just not sure how to move on. The solace I am finding is actually reading your stories and realizing I am not crazy for missing her this much. You all loved your pets just as much as I love mine. Hopefully they are all keeping each other company while they wait for us to come home.