Today, October 18th is your birthday. You would have been 13 years old today. You almost made it for your birthday... I would have bought you a new collar and a coat to match your blanket I bought you for when you turned 12. I would have taken you up grandma's house and sang happy birthday. You'd be wearing your Halloween bandana that now hangs from your picture frame. I miss you so, so much. Every day I realize how lost I feel without you and how much of me you took with you. It's not your fault at all... not mine either. I've heard many people say that if you have a true, strong love, the loss is unfortunately just as strong. You were my everything, and you always will be. I can still feel your little ears on my palms and when I think about you I can still feel your comfort you'd give me when I'd hold you close and kiss you goodnight. For the rest of my life I'll look forward to the day we can be together for eternity... with everyone that we love. I hate that you are so important to me and such a part of me... but my future husband, friends, family members, will never get to meet you. I can only share with them my memories, but I have enough memories of you to share for a lifetime.

I'll always remember how much you loved the snow. You'd frolic and be so happy, even though you knew your paws would get too cold in a matter of minutes. It was so adorable. Today was the first snow of the year, coincidently on your birthday.

Ginger... I know that was a sign that you really are in heaven. You've given me many signs when I've needed one. Thank you so much. I cannot wait to be with you again. For the rest if my life you will be the piece that's missing... but I know that your spirit will be with me until the day I die. You've proven that.

I always imagine when I see you again. I can see a bright sky with beautiful green trees. The bridge will be about ten yards long made of blue and purple stones. I'll see you in the distance, your little ears will perk up, and you'll run into my arms never to be apart again. Then I'll thank the man that has watched you all this time, and finally carry you to my heaven. I promise I'll make it there with you... I usually hope sooner than later.

One thing you have given me, and I am so thankful for, is the peace if my future death. I was always scared. How will I die? Cancer? A car crash? A heart attack? No matter what it may be, I know I'll be smiling. I'll be smiling because I know that I'll see you, and I know there is a heaven. You've given me too many signs not to believe... and I know God let you give me signs because he knew I lost faith when you left me. You were my first love to another, my joy of all my days when you were here, and now my everlasting faith and peace.

Happy birthday my Ginger. I love you so much. Please visit me tonight in my dreams.
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I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am over the loss of your baby Ginger. She is so cute. Anniversaries are so difficult- especially birthdays which used to be so much fun. She was lucky to spend her life with you-I can tell how much you loved her. I am glad that you had snow on her birthday-that it brought back memories of her joy playing in it. I think it was a sign that she is ok-that she is safe and happy. I have the same feelings about my future death. I know we will both get to see our babies again. I am holding you and Ginger in my heart and prayers. ~ Ana
Larchana Behrends
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