Mycatisanastronaut
He was my life. My best friend and only six years old. He was always very sickly. First it was food allergies giving him scabs everywhere and then it was his plastic water dish making his lips blow up from allergies to the plastic. I just moved in March to a new place. I had no idea my cat was not eating anymore. I have another cat and had one of those feeding things that you don’t have to worry about filling up too often. Well apparently he had stopped eating due to the stress of my move! I knew he had lost weight but I thought he was just not having to rush to eat any more and could monitor his own eating. No. He had stopped eating altogether. I missed it and didn’t realize it until he was jaundice and too weak to move. My guilt is intense here. How could I miss this? He has long hair but surely how could I miss him losing so much weight!! I cannot stop crying and cannot even imagine ever not being with him. He was my best friend. I wish I had a time machine and never move and never buy one of those free feeding bowls.
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Andee
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved kitty cat. Did he really stop eating because of stress due to the move or could he have had an illness?

No matter how our beloved pets pass away, it is always so hard to lose them. We are never prepared to say goodbye. All of us here would love a time machine, too, so we could all go back and see our fur babies again. What a great idea! We understand your grief and how it feels to walk through grief. You have come to the right place to get understanding and support for your loss.

May you find some peace as you travel the path of grief. Hugs 🤗🤗🤗

Furry Love Is Forever
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Isabellacat
Condolences to Georgy! My cat's nickname was Little Georgia. 
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sydneyrose
Know you are not alone in blaming yourself, however, understand that it is not your fault. You loved him and he knew that.

We all wish we could go back and try to change the course of time based on what we know now. Remember him for the good times and know that he wouldn’t want you to feel guilt.
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Mycatisanastronaut
The vet said it could be fatty liver disease or cancer. But fatty liver is caused by being overweight (he was) and stress. Moving is a normal cause apparently or any big change.
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sydneyrose
Blaming yourself is a normal part of healing. But just know that you did everything you could to provide. I was there yesterday and it still crosses my mind. It’s tough but think of the happy moments.
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Mycatisanastronaut
I still feel awful about it. 😰
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sydneyrose
I did too and there is nothing wrong with that. Just hang in there and it gets a little bit easier to cope every day.
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Mycatisanastronaut
So I’m on my way to my first day of my new job and I had to transfer buses and one of the stops is right at the place where I had to put down Georgey. I’m sitting here directly across from the hospital. What a cruel joke
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sydneyrose
Be strong for Georgey. He would want you to remember him in a happy way. That is the lifelong legacy he will have, creating a part of your heart that wouldn’t have existed without your time with him.
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BlairS
I'm very sorry about the loss of your Georgey.  My best friend was around the same age.  She was a stray I adopted, FIV positive, and also had many health problems.  My four years with her were far too short, but I know I made that time as good for her as it could possibly be, and she made made those years the best ones of my life.  I knew the day would come, and I feel guilt and anguish that it came so soon.  Hang in there - everyone here understands your feelings and we are here to listen and share as best we can.
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Jcunnane
Hi Mycatisanastronaut,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your Georgey. Please know you did everything you could to provide Georgey a sweet and loving home. These little lovebugs hide their illnesses very well, to the point that it's almost always too late to help. We all here, know what you're experiencing in the pain, the loss of a best friend, the heartbreak, the emptiness and the hardest..the guilt. The could of, would of, should of can be overwhelming. I'm sure we all want to go back in time and changes things now looking back. I know I sure wish I could have but in the end I think it would have been the same result.

I lost my little ginger boy, Bubby on June 13th. He was the sparkle of the house, a goofball, my protector, my hero, my warrior, my love, my son. Like Georgey, Bubby was dealt a bad hand of cards from the start. We had to help him cross to the Rainbow Bridge from kidney failure. In 2014, at a hospital stay for anemia due to a parasite (we still don't know how he got it) we found out his one kidney was pretty much not working and the other was wasn't that great either. It was still working but they said he would have CKD and that he wouldn't have a normal lifespan. Then in 2017 he had bladder stones which one got lodged. He let us know by a big meow and once we got to the animal hospital after going to our primary vet, he luckily dislodged it himself. But he ended up having to get surgery for the bladder stones.

He too was a stressed little man. He was scared of his own shadow, scared of the area rugs that never moved in the 4 years we have lived in this house. He was just a big scaredy cat...literally. I always feel guilty that maybe the crying from our 9 month old daughter sent him downward because she had a rough start with acid reflux and was crying or should I say screaming for many months. I did everything in my power to keep her calm so our kitties would not be stressed but somethings were out of my control. The guilt is huge and honestly overwhelming. He was my first baby. Did the crying really do this to him?

The daily life is really tough. I feel like we do have to go through it as a part of grieving. Everything will remind you of your love because let's face it, they were our daily lives. They depended on us to be there for them, take care of them and love them. We were it for them.

I can tell you it does get easier. It's been 11 days and I still cry but not like I was right after he passed. It doesn't mean I love him any less I think it's just me starting to accept what has really happened. My heart is still empty and I feel hollow but I think he took a huge portion of my heart with him. I don't think that will ever be filled. He was my one in a million.

Be kind and gentle to yourself in this difficult and dark time. You'll start to remember the good memories but there will be times that the tears are still there. It just shows us how these little loves made a huge dents in our hearts and lives. They're our loves.

Hugs,
Jackie

Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Andee
I am so sorry for your loss. I had asked if your kitty could have had an illness because of the experience I had with losing my fur baby of four years. My kitty died from FIP six months ago. I had to make the decision to let her go because she was so sick and in so much pain. FIP is a fatal illness caused by a mutation of the Corona virus that many cats carry. The vet said that stress, such as a move, could cause the mutation. I had not moved, so I do not know what the stress was that caused the illness. The vet said it wasn't my fault and nothing I had done. Of course, we automatically feel guilty when our fur baby dies, so I felt guilty, nonetheless. My kitty was a bit of a stress case, so it could have been anything or just a build up of her own stress.

You said your cat had always been sickly, so perhaps he had this virus that mutated due to stress from the move. It would have been the illness that caused him to lose his appetite. My kitty had lost her appetite. She was already a little thin, but had lost 3 pounds when I took her to the vet. She was short-haired and it was still difficult to tell she had lost that much weight. The disease can cause their sides to swell due to liquid retention in the belly. Your cat could have had FIP. The first noticeable sign the vet sees is jaundice. There is no definitive test for FIP, it is more a process of elimination. My vet did a blood test to rule out FIV and leukemia.

Illnesses, accidents, old age, stresses, cats' choices, etc. are not in our control and are not our faults. But guilt is a part of grieving. It's been six months for me, so I have worked through most of my grief and sorrow, but I still miss my baby. After her death, I felt guilty for a while, but now I know that her illness was not my fault. I hate the ruthless disease that took her from me. But, I know that I took good care of her and gave her a loving home. After bringing her home from the shelter, I patiently taught her how to accept love, something she didn't know how to do but wanted so badly. She was only four years old, but still she lived a longer and loving life because of me.

These things are true of you and your fur baby, too. He lived a longer and a loved life because of you. You will come to know this as you work through your grief and sorrow. Be patient with yourself as you grieve for it does take time. Hugs 🤗.
Furry Love Is Forever
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Mycatisanastronaut
Oh that’s interesting! Well they did bloodwork and his glucose was super low and other things were off the chart. I just assumed it was that. It was at the time the only thing that fit. That could be it too since the move seemed to be such a prevalent precursor
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just_lost
I'm sorry to have read about your losing Georgey, Mycatisanastronaut.  He's a beautiful boy!

I think of my cats as closer than family, and I know how deeply it hurts to lose one of your animals.  Based on what I've read of your story, you're a *wonderful* parent!  As has been said, self-blame is part of the process.  We all grieve differently and for different lengths of time.  I agree with others here - I believe that you did the best that you knew to do.  Sometimes the signs are so subtle that even the most in-tune parents miss them.  Know that we're all here for you.
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