This is my first post. I just found this forum and it’s good to know people like you all are out there. I had to put my daughters cat to sleep two days ago. It’s been a rainy few days here in NYS and just awful where I am. I had become really attached to her after my daughter left for college in 2016. About a month ago she wasn't eating and hiding which I have heard is their way of telling you something is wrong or there time here is done. Last Tuesday I finally took her in to the vet. She couldn't find anything wrong till she did a work up later that afternoon. Clara had anemia and the red blood cell count was being hurt because the immune system was attacking it. I found her Thursday under my daughters bed. I thought she was going to die so I gave her medicine. She started getting lethargic a few weeks ago, not coming around as much. I thought she was just changing behaviors or had a flu bug but then noticed last weekend it was bad. This past week they had me and my girlfriend give her predisone tablets. She hated them. Then we tried liquid prednisone and it was a little easier to administer it but you had to wrap her into a towel to give it to her. I kind of knew this was coming but she was not eating and dehydrated so when I brought her in Monday morning the vet came out and wanted to talk to me…..I knew what she was going to say. We were at the point that to have a chance acute care would have had to be brought it, something we couldn’t afford. She had jaundice also so she was dying from that and not eating or drinking. We had to say our goodbyes and after a couple of injections it was done.
As long as I have been around the girls she was there since 2009. She came from a shelter I think, Lollipop Farms (here locally) and they inherited her in 2008 maybe so we never knew Clara’s medical history. The vet assured me yesterday morning this was the way to go. I get that on paper but it feels terrible. I was told it was a gift of love and this is the best to thing to do. We didn’t take her pet-carrier box out and just left when the paperwork was done for cremation. Sometimes these things happen the vet said and going home after we threw everything out, litterbox, and food. I did go yesterday to donate some litter that was brand new in the package to the shelter she came from. It’s awful because I can see her face still looking at me before they put her to sleep. I cried more than some family member funerals I have been to.
I guess the hardest part is the unfairness of it all. They love us unconditionally not like all the mean people we have to come into contact with our whole lives. And we have them for a short time compared to our own and I can't figure that part out, the why of it? Going home is terrible, I don’t like to be alone there. I came home from teaching my martial arts class last night and was getting my keys out to unlock the door and broke down. She had this little hallway always to herself in the apartment. She would eat, lay down and she kind of owned it for herself. She was always there. I tried to clean up where she had been throwing up last week with resolve. I vacuumed but now but I still see her walking in the night, my girlfriend still calls out to her out of habit when she gets home for work. I have been up at 3:30 and 4 AM and don’t get back to sleep because I want to pull her close and she is never coming back. The silence is deafening as the expression goes without her now.