Zoes_Mom
I put down my dog Zoe on Thursday November 5, 2015.  Today is November 10th and she would be 12 years old today.  Happy birthday Zoe. I miss you so very much. Now, I am suffering incredible grief.

I feel so empty without her.  I miss her so much!!! 

Zoe was always beside me. She has always been there for me.  Ready to cuddle, serve and protect. Her true love was human food and being with her family.  Her true hate was being wet. She hated the rain and bath time.

She should have been a service dog.  She was so smart!!  If I asked for my slippers she would bring them to me.  She would sleep in my bed beside me or on the couch.

She was a Golden Retriever/ Black lab cross.  She looked like a black retriever. 

She had a vet checkup a few months before and the vet said she was looking good. No concerns. I was comfortable with that. I knew she was getting old.  She was slowing down.  I declined blood work at that time. All her shots were up to date. She had dental surgery twice in the past to ensure her teeth were healthy.

I went to work on Tuesday evening (a week ago). Wow, its been a week since she first got sick.  When I got home Tuesday Zoe was lethargic and wobbly. My adult son said Zoe had vomited a yellow bile few times.  I don't know what caused her to get sick.  I will never know.  She was barely able to stand. 

We made her a comfortable bed.  I made some homemade pedialite (honey/salt water) for her drink and syringe fed her fluids.  I was hoping the next day she would feel a bit better. I sat close to her all Wednesday.  Tried to make sure she was comfortable.  My son carried her outside to do her business.

I took her to the vet on Thursday which was an hour away. Her last car ride. I knew when I took her to the vet, I would be leaving the vets office alone. 

The vet tried to palpate her stomach but her stomach was very hard.  She took her temperature and was very high.  Zoe was very sick.  I could see that she was suffering.  So, the vet and I discussed our options an I felt it was best to have her euthanized to end her suffering. She was at the end of her life span.  Blood work may have given me answers but it would have just prolonged her suffering. I think it was cancer. 

The vet gently gave her a shot.  Zoe went to sleep. It was very peaceful.  I stayed with her for awhile and told her how much I love her and how much she will be missed.  I thanked the vet and the staff for their kindness and drove home. I cried all the way home.

I feel so numb and lonely for her.  I do have other pets. Two cats and a little Maltese dog named Bella.  I have been giving them lots of love and reassurance but it doesn't help the emptiness

I miss you Zoe girl!!  You were such a loyal friend.  I am giving your dog sister Bella lots of pets and love. We  miss you.  Enjoy Rainbow Bridge.  Try not to be too sad.  Until we meet again, my sweet, 176.JPG  sweet girl. RIP Zoe.



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Apollo_the_great
I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's been 10 months today since I lost my boy Apollo and I'm still not over the loss.  I hope that you feel better. She looked like she was a great girl. Again, I'm sorry.
William
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Zoes_Mom
Thank you. 

Tomorrow it will be one week since I lost my dog Zoe.  Its not getting any easier. 

Zoe, I want to believe you are safe, sound and happy at Rainbow Bridge.  Free of pain.  I hope you are able to run and play with all our beloved pets. 

I miss how you sat beside me and looked deeply into my eyes. I miss the warmth you would bring to me as you would cuddle beside me.  For 12 years you were my shadow. 

I realize now how much you added to my life.  I thought I was the one caring for you.  Providing you with love, food, shelter, cuddles, etc.  but now I see how you were actually caring for me too.  I miss you girl. 
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Idahosmom
Reading posts like yours always makes me cry. It breaks my heart that you're going through this terrible pain. Thank you for sharing Zoe's story; she sounds like a great dog, a wonderful being, truly god's creature. I'm so very sorry for your loss. 
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Zoes_Mom
Thank you for your kind words.

My grief for my Zoe girl is so intense. It's like my brain and my heart are at war.

My brain thinks its not logical to miss a pet this much and I need to stop acting this way. It's been 8 days since i held her for the last time.

My heart is completely broken. I miss petting her. I miss stroking her fur. I miss looking into her beautiful eyes and wondering what she is thinking. I miss her moans and barks. I miss her supervision in the kitchen.

I am thankful we had 12 years together. Now she is my angel. I know she would not want me to be sad.

I hope she is at rainbow bridge. I hope our paths will cross again one day.

For everyone reading this post, I am sorry you are hurting too.

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Apollo_the_great
No you don't need to stop acting that way. It is normal. Why people think that it is not logical to miss something they love, doesn't matter what it is, and cry or be miserable about it, is beyond me. You loved your Zoe when she was here, it is normal to love her after she is gone. It's been 10 months since I lost Apollo and I cried today about him. I will always miss and love him. I don't care what anyone else might think about it. I loved him, not them, so I don't expect them to understand or care. Again, I'm sorry for your loss, the intense grief will lessen over time, but I doubt if your love for her will, nor should it.
William
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