JuanCo27th
Hello everybody,

I am new in this forum.

Dog: Cocker Spaniel Mixed, 14 years 9 months old. 
Situation: Cannot see anymore from both eyes and cannot hear from both ears. For many years has had severe Hip dysplasia (only way to ease pain is Dexamethasone + Metamizole in controlled doses). Lately (last 3-4 months) hasn't been able to control his sphincters and lately his anus has kind of "fallen down" maybe due to uncontrolling.
Emotionally he is not as playful and cannot recognize owners (family). Has no aggressive behavior but the vet doctor has told me that there is too much suffering and even a sedative (if we were to do surgery) may cause instant death. 

Yesterday night I heard the news that my loved dog has worsened a lot in health.
My family and I have agreed that it is the most humane & caring way to put him to sleep and the vet (more than 2 vets) has agreed. I don't feel guilty because I believe we have give him a great life and he in return has filled our lifes with joy and love for almost 15 years. I think the lifespan of small dogs is lower than this so I am very happy that he has been so eager holding on to life.
The most difficult and confusing thing is that I am actually not living with him right now (I am in Japan and he is in Peru (my home country) and the last time I saw him (2 years ago), he had the dysplasia and could see good only from one eye, but he still could climb on my bed and recognize me and my fiancee and move his tail.
Now I am in between feelings of sadness (knowing he will be gone soon and not be able to see him next time I visit my home) and memory (remembering him as the last time I saw him, happy that I was back home and he met my fiancee). 

I willing to say that he feels now confused and also sad that he's not been able to play and run and enjoy as before with us anymore and I truly believe that, besides his physical pain, he also feels a mental distress. I am not saying he should be put to sleep for this but I have shared with him almost 10 years of his life and I feel this is his situation now.

I am sorry for writing such a long post but I just needed to take this out from inside of me. I am in my work right now and, basically, not being able to share this with someone close, so I would just like to write this. If you have any comments, opinions, experiences and advices, please, feel free to share them here!

Thank you all very much for listening and if you have a pet, please, enjoy them as much as possible and be happy because someone loves you very much!
Best,

Juan
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Francine
Hello Juan,
It must be so hard being so far away. Maybe you can Skype to see and talk to your doggy before he goes to the rainbow bridge.
It helps to put your thoughts and feelings on this forum. Everyone is so kind and helpful. I think it's wonderful how people here can set aside their own grief and sadness for a moment to share thoughts and condolences with others.

Francine
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JuanCo27th
Hello Francine.

Thank you for your prompt response.

I just wanted an outlet to let go of my present feelings and thinking and I was so glad I found this forum. 

I would really like to receive as many comments, opinions, judgement or any kind of contact as possible. I think talking about it makes it a little bit better and easier to bare it.

Thank you again for your response and I am happy that this forum respects feelings of any kind (no matter race, sex, believes, social background, etc) and that is really rare to find in the Internet.

Best regards,

Juan
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Katel
Hi Juan, No one will judge you badly as your little dog is suffering, the vet said so,  so there is absolutely no
choice.  That knowledge should help you not to feel any guilt at all as some of us when we euthanise our pets are wracked with guilt about whether we do the right thing. 
My little dog has bone cancer and at this stage is pain free, but the minute he shows it I will have to
euthanise him and I dread doing it but will do it for him.
I'm so sorry you can't be with him.  That is hard for you.  You can talk as freely as you like here as we all understand and are going through grief.
Kate
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Bellamum
Dear Juan,
I am so sorry that you are going through this.  Losing a dearly loved friend like your beautiful dog is heartbreaking, and it is made more difficult because you are so far away from him. He knows that you love him and he will leave this world knowing how much you cared for him. What is your sweet boy's name?
I don't have words that will take away your pain, but I am thinking of you and sending warm thoughts of support and comfort to you.
Hold your precious memories in your heart.  You will have them forever.
I wish you peace and healing.
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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JuanCo27th
Katel & Bellamum,

Thank you so much for your warm and loving messages. I think the hardest part about the present situation is that I am so far away and, as I start to think,
I get these images that he is lonely and lost (even tho my whole family is there with him) and get the feeling that he might be wondering where am I or
if I have abandoned him. I know in my head that this is not true but I guess in these situations, the heart wins over the mind. I also imagine the suffering of
my family members and I also feel sorry for them, having to  witness such an event. But I am pretty sure that, since they have agreed on one solution
(with the help of the vet's opinion), they will try to cope with the loss of my beloved pet.

I know (and I am pretty sure 99% of the people in this forum) that the best is to have the memory of our pets in their best moment. One of mine, for example,
was when I was in my last stage of college (before coming to Japan to follow post-graduate) and he always visited me by my desk and slept in the couch nearby.
My family members or friends always thought that this was normal for any owner-dog relationship, but the funny thing is that he only did this
when I was in the "study room".
Also one funny stage of my dog was that he started to have some jealous feelings towards short people (children) and bark at them furiously.
But when my niece was born, he stood so quietly and bow his head, even without proper pre-warning, and let my niece play with him as much as she liked.
I was really proud of him since I felt that he knew this "little person" was the "master's puppy" (hehe) and had to be treated differently.
I don't know if this is scientifically true, but I choose to believe so.

I got to tell you, I feel so much better, when writing these lines, about my present situation. When remembering one funny anecdote with my dog,
I can remember all and that train of though is the best feeling I can get at these moments. I really appreciate that you have lent me a hearing ear
and probably a helping hand. I am  truly grateful such a place exists in the internet and I wish you all happiness with your pets (present or not)
and remember the memories are here to stay forever.

Love,

Juan

P.S.: Bellanum: My dog name is NACHO (as the tasty treat) hehe... maybe we chose because of the color and is quite nice to hear it in Spanish, thou hehe !
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JuanCo27th
Hello everybody,
This is just to let you know, it's done. My beloved Nacho is at the rainbow bridge. I decided not to see him
(Through Skype) one last time, since time zone is quite different (14 hours) and also I would like to
have a last image of him as I saw him last time, playful and active. I know this might sound selfish or mean, but I think I will always think the best of him (although, even painful memories are part of life) I will walks keep all of them.
I want to thank, first of all, my family, specially my brother, since I asked him to stay with my dog until the very last moment, even though, the vet advised to wait outside because it might be too painful, but I make my brother promise me that he will not leave him alone at his final hour because I didn't want my dog to feel alone or scared.
I want to thank also, the supporting people at this forum with the warm messages filled with love and support but mostly that are willing to spare a little time in their lives to hear and understand other people's feelings. You guys are beautiful.
Thank you again for your loving messages and I hope we can keep contacting through other channels or other messages.

Best and love!

Juan
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Katel
Dear Juan,   I've been reading your stories of Nacho and when you said he has finally crossed the bridge I found myself crying as I somehow feel I knew him from what you have so lovingly said. about him.   One thing's for sure,   your precious Nacho was surrounded by love and he would have
felt yours too in the spirit, I'm sure of that.   No you don't sound selfish at all,  just a very sad loving owner of a beautiful little dog who you will miss, but hold on to the happy memories.  I love the way he sat by you in your study room, and how he was such a good boy with your little niece.Is that photo of him with your niece, so sweet.   If you feel like it come back and tell us more stories of Nacho I love hearing them.
God bless and hugs to you,

Kate 
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