moonunit
I can't believe I'm writing this. I never thought it would happen to me and I feel like such an awful person. My dog had starting chasing cars and I had arranged for a trainer come over but, in the meantime, I still let him out front. He loved to go out the garage and run around our fence to the back field but sometimes he would chase a car passing by. He didn't do every time but he loved to chase anything that moved. I told myself just two nights ago that I needed to be careful with him after he chased a car at night. 

Usually, at night, there aren't many cars. We live in a small neighborhood with lots of field and and people don't usually drive fast on our little road. We have one little pug that runs around all over the place and people watch out for him. We don't have a leash law. But that doesn't matter. I am so stupid. I can't believe I was so careless. He was such an amazing dog. I feel so much guilt. He was only three years old and I am incredibly sad. 

What's worse, I didn't see him get hit. I just saw him running away from the road toward our fence and I thought he just hurt his leg or something. I ran toward the people! Why didn't I run toward him?! I wanted to tell them I was sorry and that he was okay and I was going to take him to the vet. Then we turned around and he was on the ground. The guy just happened to be be a vet and knew he was dying. We just stayed with him while he died.  Why didn't I check on him immediately? He should have been my reaction. What the hell is wrong with me?!

I feel soooo bad. I really loved him and I just hope he knew that. All of my pets have died of old age. I've never had something happen like this to me because I think I'm a responsible pet owner but I let my sweet boy down. I didn't protect him. I'm just really overcome with grief and sadness and regret and sorrow. 
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TommyRoo
How awful for you! I am so terribly sorry. I can't imagine seeing that.

He died doing something that made him truly happy. That is how I finally feel about my first cat, Marshmallow. She was also three years old, and she was hit by a car at night. I was not with her when she died; I found her the next morning. I was overcome with guilt for so many years, until I finally realized it was not my fault. It wasn't even the fault of the driver; it was an accident. My kitty died doing what she loved, which was roaming around outside at night, being an animal. Sometimes there is only so much we can do to contain our animal's natural instincts to run and roam.

I hope with time you can forgive yourself. And keep posting about your sweet pup here to us.

Many hugs,

Tommy
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Bellamum
I am so sorry that you have lost your dear boy.  I know the heartache that you are feeling and I also know the guilt.  Many of us on this forum suffer from guilt after our dearly loved companions leave us.  The guilt is for various reasons, but it tortures us and adds a new dimension to our overwhelming grief.
Unfortunately, nothing I can say can take away your pain.  If there were words to help you heal I would say them.  What I will say is that this is a pain that runs very deep and we feel like we will never recover - feeling guilty makes it so much harder.  I know because for a long time after I said goodbye to my gorgeous beagle, Bella, I tortured myself with every guilty thought possible.  I now have been able to let go of the guilt and I know that I loved my girl with all of my heart and I would have done anything to have changed the outcome for her, but it was not possible.  What happened to your boy was an accident.  You would never, ever have harmed him and he knows that.  Try to remember his life, not by the last moments, but by the many, many, many happy, loving moments that he had with you, the person who loved him dearly and cared for him devotedly.  He would be remembering all that you mean to him.
I wish you peace and healing and I hope that soon you can let go of the guilty feelings and forgive yourself, because your baby boy would not think there is anything to forgive.  He knows that you are sorry that it happened.
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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moonunit
Thank you both for the kind words. I really needed to hear them. I have lost 5 dogs in the past 5 years, all to old age. My oldest girl was 18. Each time I lost a beloved pet it was devastating and I felt horrible and sad and wondered if I made the right decision when the time came but nothing compares to how I feel now. Maybe I just don't remember. But this pain feels so deep and I feel so guilty and sorry and I miss my boy so much. He was only about 3 - he was a rescue. We were just about to start training to make him a service dog. His second round of agility classes started today. I was so excited for him to move out West with us. We are moving soon and I was excited to take him everywhere with me as a service dog. He loved to go for car rides. I just wish I had more time with him. He had such a horrible start in life. It was clear he had been mistreated. He was in about 7 different homes before us and even I took him in as a foster. He was adopted out and returned three times before I finally decided I wasn't doing that to him again. I wish I had more time to love him and give him a good life. He was just taken too early. He was so special and I hope he knew that. I know now how much I adored him. It is weird. I didn't realize how much I loved him until now. I just want him back. And I wish I had, in those last minutes, run toward him instead of toward the people. I don't know why I did that.
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powrbruh
moonunit,

I know you are blaming yourself for your dog getting hit.  Please try to forgive yourself.  It was an accident.  I know it's hard to do.  I am still blaming myself for putting my Kia down.  I am still angry at myself, the vet, and the world.  But I knew it was her time. 

Please don't let the guilt of what happened stop you from remembering the wonderful times you have spent with your baby.  Your dog knows you loved him.  I hope my words help some. 

Mike
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fitkix
No on can truly know how another is feeling in a time like this. My husband and I are grieving the loss of our 5 month old puppy yesterday morning. We too are grief stricken and feeling guilty that we were unable to save him from a freak drowning accident. The "what ifs" are killing us. We want him back so bad!
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moonunit
Thank you so much Mike. Your words do help a lot.

Fitkix, I'm so very sorry to hear about your puppy! I know you must devastated! I so sorry that happened! Thank you for taking time to comfort someone else in your grief.

It is the most horrible longing to want them back. I'm so sorry you are going through that. I had hopes and dreams and future plans with my boy. I know you did with your puppy too. It's so hard to accept that those things will not happen now. It's just heartbreaking. I am so sorry for loss.
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fitkix
Moonunit, yes, we had big plans for our puppy. He was showing real promise as his Daddy's hunting dog, and his mommy's baby boy. It was such a freak accident that happened so fast. I wish this pain would stop. I wish my husband would let himself off the hook. He is blaming himself because it happened when they were together. He fell down a steep embankment into water right next to a culvert. He was immediately drawn in, but my husband couldn't reach him in time. It was too late when he came through the narrow opening on the other side. I feel so bad my husband had to witness that!
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sueboo
Sorry for your loss.  I can relate to the guilt, but I logically know that we shouldn't continue to let it eat us alive.  My 5 month old puppy was hit by a car last weekend, and we knew better than to have him off his leash but I wanted him to have fun. I have 3 young kids and they didn't see it but I can't get over the pain I have caused them and worse that I didn't let this puppy grow up into the great dog he would have been.  Try and think of the good and the fun times you gave yours.

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Hkbuddy
My 12 yr old chihuahua mix Buddy was hit by a car 2 nights ago and died. I just can’t deal with it. My guilt for letting it happen is overwhelming me. I should’ve been his protector. My husband died a few years ago and Buddy and I became soulmates. 24/7 always together. And now it feels like my life is over and I should suffer for what happened.
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Lu
Aww, I'm sorry about your chihuahua mix. Please don't beat yourself up so much. I know it's hard, it seems like almost everyone on these boards has some guilt. I lost my little chihuahua of 9 years 3 weeks ago and I also have so much guilt about how she passed. It was a freak accident and I wasn't around to save her or tell her goodbye. It's so heartbreaking. i keep playing it over and over in my mind how it must have happened and it is mental torture. I had promised her I would never let anything bad happen to her and that I would keep her safe. It seems to be a bit easier after a few weeks and I am better able to think about happier memories. We get so attached to these precious little creatures and so many of them are taken away from us tragically. I don't understand why it has to happen. 

Please try to hang in there and maybe after awhile you will be able to take in a rescue pup who needs a home. Maybe foster a dog? I would like to take in or foster an older dog but may have to wait until I retire as I work full time and already feel guilty for not having spent enough time with my little dog who passed away. Most rescue groups will pay for vet treatment for dogs that are fostered. It may be too soon, but as time goes by it may be of some comfort to you. Also, I hope and believe that we will see our dogs again some day. Be kind to yourself and I am sending you hugs and hope for peace. 

lea
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