It’s been 3 months since I lost Lola, and I’ve been reflecting on things these past few days. The immediate pain of losing my friend has faded, but I still feel an emptiness or incompleteness. Something in me has changed, and I don’t feel that I will ever be the same again.

Fans of the Harry Potter novels/movies might recall the term “horcrux” which, in a nutshell, refers to an object or living thing that contains a portion of the subject’s soul. If that thing dies or is destroyed, the portion of the soul is destroyed along with it.

That’s exactly how I feel. Lola was my horcrux and she held a portion of my own soul with her. A part of me died along with her, and I cannot ever get it back. I am forever changed and may never feel whole again.

This analogy probably sounds silly, but it fits perfectly with my relationship to my animals. Those like us can’t help but share a piece of our own souls with our pets. It’s rewarding while we have them, but incredibly heart-breaking when we lose them. I honestly don’t know if I could own more pets in the future. I don’t think my soul can be split again.
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That’s exactly how I feel.
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Me too, and my baby was a bunny. I know I feel different, and I can't explain it. I am just incredibly sad all the time, but the sadness is deep inside me. So even though everything about me seems 'normal', because I am trying very, very hard, I am not the person I was 5 months ago. And I want that person back so very much, along with my Timbob. 


"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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Your analogy is spot on.  I did not know the term horcrux before today but it explains so well what has happened to us.  When you refer to "being forever changed", I call it my "new normal".  Yes, I function in my everyday world, but there is an incredible and at times, debilitating, sadness that I carry.  It's inescapable.  It's taken me years to get to the point that I can now celebrate my Carmen's life.  I can finally happily recount all the adventures and incredible times we shared.  For me, what I have to remember is that she is now happy again, pain free, and enjoying every day of her precious eternal life at Rainbow Bridge.  Also for me, I have to remember that it's not goodbye to someone so special she changed my life, but that one day I will be with her again for eternity.  She will always occupy the best part of my heart.
My warmest regards,  Carmen's and Gigi's mom - alicia
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Not silly at all -I feel the same way
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I know what u mean. I lost my Chip 3 months ago too. I am still grieving but also feel like a part of me went with him. I alway knew I loved him but is it so unbearable knowing he is gone. We shared a special bond. We both depended on one another. I have a wonderful family but I am still so lonely without him. Dogs become our children. I just can't understand why their life span is so short. Take care of yourself and I hope the great memories help you thru
Linda Filipowicz
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Thank you for your kind words and sympathies.  I also feel alone even though family is near.  I'll still have his beds and all of his toys and meds.  I just can't throw anything out yet.  Where I live they're having a special event for rescue dogs and I'll donate his food and treat.  That all I can let go of right now
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I know what you mean by that "horcrux" thing. I felt like most of me died along with my girl. I remained literally half dead. But then her love came. I realised that our Souls are not destroyed, not one bit but kind of go "out there" to be with them. Part of us just isn't on earth any more. It is so incredibly painful and so incredibly beautiful, both at the same time.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer

Misty's life after death:
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Ur not silly for that term. I like it a lot and describes exactly how I'm feeling now. I just experienced that feeling today with my Rag doll Riley with an unexpected heart attack at the age of 2. I feel numb and feel ur pain. I'm sorry 4 ur loss. I want to scream and say why her, why my cat.
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I’m about to take mine to be put down (like in a couple of minutes) and this post is what I’m scared of but how I already feel. You are not silly at all.
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Hi sorry for your loss I understand what your saying my boy gizmo is away nearly 6 month and am so down and still struggling dont think al ever be the same person x thinking of you all here x
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