Doxiegirl
My beautiful dachshund boy, whom I loved more than anyone or anything, passed away during adrenal cancer surgery two days ago. The vets told me it was his only chance at a decent lifespan and quality of life. Despite the 15% surgery related mortality they said he was in good shape other than the pain and discomfort he was beginning to experience. So I went for it. I am racked with guilt for making a decision that led to his death. I understand he didn’t have long anyway but he was happy the morning of the surgery. Two hours later he was gone. I’m devastated. Any help or advice is welcome.
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kikis_mom_1118
Don't riddle yourself with guilt you did the best that you could do. The vet did not want to operate on my girl because of her age and the tumor that was found in her groin. I told him this would be her last surgery but the tumors had to be removed. She got ill 2 months later and I had to euthanize her. I had to do everything possible to take care of her and I did. You did the same. Things just didn't turn out like we hoped. It doesn't make your decision wrong.
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BoxerMomForever
I’m so sorry. If I was told all was good for surgery, I would have done the same. Please do not blame yourself. I know it is heartbreaking. Hugs to you during this sad time. We are all ear to support each other.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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BoxerMomForever
I’m so sorry. If I was told all was good for surgery, I would have done the same. Please do not blame yourself. I know it is heartbreaking. Hugs to you during this sad time. We are all ear to support each other.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Doxiegirl
Thank you so much to both of you. @kiki’s Mom, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Olgita256
My condolences. If you would have opted not to have the surgery and he passed away... then you’d be feeling horrible that you didn’t have the surgery... there’s no winning. I lost my 15 1/2 year old Pomeranian back in 2017.... he had Cushings.... I blamed myself for so many things and the guilt was killing me. I lost so much weigh... saught counseling... I even had a car accident due to my grief and not concentrating. I literally felt like a walking zombie. Time helped... truth is we loved our babies so so much and would have done anything for them. You expected to give him a bit more life and comfort.... everything you did was done with love and hope that he would live a bit longer.. guilt is for people who do things deliberately to hurt others but our broken hearts can’t see that during the grieve process. Hang in there ... time will help. I believe with all my heart that we will see them again one day ❤️❤️ Imagine what a sweet day that will be. Prayers for your broken heart.
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Doxiegirl
Thank you Olgita256. I am sorry for your loss. Your perspective that I would have felt guilt if I didn’t agree to the surgery and he suffered is very helpful and kind. Thank you again. I sure hope I see my little guy again in the afterlife. He was my best friend.
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CK1991
Doxiegirl: I’m sorry for your loss. When I read your story the first thing that came to my mind was that your beautiful boy was spared suffering. The vets said it was his only chance at a decent “lifespan” but would it be a cure? If not there is always a chance he would have suffered and cancer is so very painful. He went quietly and without having any more pain. You shouldn’t feel any guilt. You were trying your best to help him and you were willing to go that extra mile. He is at peace now but always alive in the happy memories you have of him. Hugs to you!
CK
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Doxiegirl
Dear CK1991, thank you so much for your kind and comforting message. Indeed, I realize he would have continued to decline and that the pain would have gotten worse. I will try to focus on happy memories and take comfort in my remaining two dogs. He was my best friend and I think he knew it. So I will try and hold on to sparing him more suffering, as hard as it is. Thank you again and hugs to you.
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CK1991
You’re very welcome! I know it’s hard and you do have to grieve. Sometimes you just need to let it out; let the tears fall but always remember you put your boy’s needs first and you loved him and he knew it!
Wishing you peace and comfort,
CK
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dontharmanimals
Doxiegirl, My Jackie also died two days ago directly after surgery. She had mammary tumors removed. According to the vet she was "fine" after the surgery but the vet called the next morning to tell me Jackie had died in the night and thought her death may have been a clot. Jackie was energetic and bouncy going in to the surgery and now she's gone. I'm devastated. 
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Doxiegirl
Dontharmanimals, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I believe you did the best you knew to do for your Jackie. In case this is of any help: I am trying to meditate and am finding some solace in the knowledge we were each doing the best we could to give our babies more time with little to no suffering. I had several days of denial and what if’s before moving to a mix of anger and periodic acceptance. Let yourself feel the loss as you need to, knowing it will get a little easier each day after the first few days.

Please accept a hug and healing thoughts from me. 🙏🏽
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