Wrangler24
Saturday was just a normal day... my sister was visiting, we were going to have anice breakfast, go for a walk with both of our dogs. I was putting my makeup on and our dogs Wrangler and Waylon were playing tug of war and wrestling like they always do when suddenly Wrangler started to scream - a gut wrenching sound that will never leave my mind. When I ran in by him he was stuck on his back and so I tried to calm his cries and help him get onto his feet. I knew something terrible had happened when he started to have an accident on the floor and both his back legs were limp. My sister and I drove him to the ER vet thinking that they would fix it and everything would be better and we could go home later that day. Upon his exam they found that he could not feel his back toes, but he still had normal nerve reflexes. She said that because of that, it had to be a disc injury causing spinal cord damage. The whole day is just a blur to me and I was so out of my mind I don’t think I could really comprehend what she was saying. His prognosis was very poor- only a 20% chance of walking again, he would need physical therapy for months and would not be able to go the bathroom on his own anymore. When she told us that, I knew where it was going. My husband raced out to meet us and so did his parents. My parents drove 2 hours from their house to be with us. We made the incredibly hard decision that Wrangler would not want to live a life like that, and decided to have him put down. We got to visit him for an hour before it happened, with everyone he loved the most by him. It was just so hard to see him lying in their kennel shaking because he was so scared. We all said our goodbyes and got paw prints from him. Wrangler was going to be only 4 years old next month. We feel like we let him down and made the wrong decision. It didn’t really hit us until we got home and realized how empty and lonely our house is without him. He was our entire world, our first dog we’ve ever had together. He’s been with us since we got married. And just like that, he’s gone and our lives are completely broken. Right now it feels like we will never get past this.. we can’t eat or sleep and don’t want to do anything we did before because it will just remind us that he’s not here anymore. His lively personality made our house a home. And now we have to give extra love to Waylon, but it’s so hard to do that knowing he will never have a friend like Wrangler. How do we do it? Because life does not stop, we have to buy groceries and get gas... but just getting out of bed and getting dressed hurts. We feel like we will never ever be happy, or just content ever again. We feel like we cannot enjoy things anymore. We don’t know what to do. We are heartbroken. 💔
Quote 0 0
Avabear
That is so so sad and such a young and beautiful boy he is too.  I know exactly how you are feeling, I have my beautiful Ava put to sleep yesterday and I am a mess, I can't eat, sleep, wash or function on any level, the pain of the loss of our furbabies is so great and as many have said in previous posts myself included it is everybit iif not worse and I would say worse than losing a person.  It is a pain like no other our lives literally revolve round them in a way it doesn't with people.  I can give you no magic words or remedies with this other than time

I work for a cancer charity and this was posted on one of the support groups today and although its about the death of a person it is still relevant,
http://www.bbc.com/news/av/stories-43227108/why-grief-is-not-something-you-have-to-get-over?SThisFB



Avabears mummy

'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon

 

Quote 0 0
Lamont
Everyone here tells me that I will come to terms with my loss at some point. I am still a mess after losing my kitty over 2 weeks ago, but now I am only miserable about 75% of the time I am awake. That is a slight improvement, so maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is a lot of support here, and I urge you to stick around. 
The only thing that seems to help me, is to express my sympathy and to be helpful when I can to everyone here. 

Bertie's Daddy
Quote 0 0
DonnaM
What a cool dog!  I know your pain is so deep and raw right now, it's hard to fathom life ever getting better.  But Avabear is right, time will heal, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.  I can offer a few things I know have helped me and others when in such a place.  No guarantees as everyone is different, but maybe can get you on the road to getting gas and groceries as a first step.

Getting onto this forum seems to be a wonderful help to many, including me, I hope it is for you.  There are so many kind and understanding people here and in the world.  Go to them, talk to them, cry with them.  Trust yourself, do whatever you need to do, understand that everyone's different so your way may not be someone else's way.  Feel your emotions as awful as they are, whatever they are, it's part of the healing process.  I have joined a few grief groups and called a few hotlines since I lost my Ernie last Friday. It has helped. 

Be kind to yourself and each other, and to Waylon.  Take care of yourself and each other, and Waylon.  Ask for care when you need it.  Try to get some sleep and to eat -- very hard, I know -- but take care of you so you can help each other and Wrangler's brother.

Please try not to second-guess your euthanasia decision, it's probably the best thing you could have done given the prognosis and you made the choice out of your great love for him.  Sometimes we make choices to try and save our critters more for us than them.  I think you were right to understand he would not want to live that way.

When you are able, send us some stories about your boys.  No doubt Wrangler was a mighty spirit.  He still loves you very, very much. Love never dies.   
DonnaM
Ernie in the Sky, With Diamonds

Quote 0 0
nadene
I am so sorry for your loss.  I know there are no words that can ease your pain.  I just lost my Sophie on Friday.  She was the love of my life for 13 years.  I used to tell her she was my best girl, and she was.  I had her for a while, not that it's any easier.  You can take comfort in the fact that she loved you, and knows you did the best you could for her.  She loved you so much, but sometimes things happen for whatever reason.  Today is the first day I haven't cried in a few weeks, because Sophie wasn't eating, and I cried when I saw her.  My face is still chapped, but I decided to honor her memory.  I kept a few of her toys, and ordered some things with her pictures on, to have around me, so I can always see her.  I am writing a book, if only for myself on our time together.  Even today when I go downstairs in the morning, I still say, "morning Soph," and look over to where her bed was, and just smile to myself.  I loved her so much, and I know she loved me too.  I had to have her put down, and although my head knows it was the greatest gift I could give her, my heart doesn't see it that way."  Unfortunately, as in life, no one is ours to keep.  We have our friends and family and pets to love, but God takes them back when it's time.  Sometimes it's early and sometimes it's late.  So, try to remember the great times you had, and you will be able to celebrate his life.  You will, I promise.  I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
Quote 0 0
RileysMom
Wrangler24,

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your doggy. How completely horrifying! Your story absolutely broke my heart and I’m sorry for your family and Wrangler. This isn’t an easy thing to deal with to say the least. The first few days are the hardest. It helps to talk and express your feelings. Please do so here as much as you need to.

Many condolences and hugs to you and Waylon.
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

Quote 0 0
Wrangler24
Thank you everyone for your comforting words and support. Each day we cry a little less but our hearts still feel empty and broken. Our house is so quiet and so different. We have made it back to work, but I still find myself forcefully doing stuff with no emotion. I never want to cook another meal again, doing the dishes hurts, and looking at the laundry that just won’t go away makes me want to break down. Last night was the first night I slept more than a few hours and wasn’t constantly woken up by terrible dreams. I just find myself wanting to go back to any other time besides this. I’m trying to look at the positive- how much fun we had when Wrangler was around and how we get to treasure every memory with him. But then I just start sobbing because he’s not here anymore and he never will be again. This whole thing just feels like a terrible dream. I’m wondering with the clocks changing this coming Sunday, will that make it worse or better? I dread nicer weather and sunshine coming because it will remind me of all the walks and playtimes outdoors we had with Wrangler.. but then I wonder will that help? Because if it keeps getting dark so early, we just lay in the dark and think. I know everyone says time will make this more bearable, but it’s just so hard just trying to make it through the next hour. My husband and I wanted to move to a farmhouse and get farm animals and start a family, but now nothing feels like it matters anymore, because Wrangler was always in our minds when we thought about where we wanted to live here next.
It’s also terrible at work because everyone is so afraid to see me hurting they try to “cheer me up” by talking about anything else. I don’t want to talk period. They just don’t get it.
But I feel like if I’m not constantly talking to someone I’m very close to I’m going to fall into a deep depression. I text and call my mom all day, I text my husband while he’s working, today I have a phone call with a pet loss counselor.
Does this ever get better? I feel like we’ve experienced the best parts of our lives already and it’s just downhill from there.
I just want Wrangler to know that we love and miss him so much and to know that he’s happy.
Quote 0 0
DonnaM
I'm so sorry Elizabeth, all of us know what pure hell it is.  If I could hug all of you while you cry and let you talk all day I would.  I have also needed to talk constantly about my feelings -- it's how I heal.  Starting to cry a bit less and feeling a bit better, but I'm also dreading daylight savings time and spring because Ernie loved being outside with us and he loved eating our pansies, and then throwing them up.  Colorful.  Gonna miss that. 

I'm very glad you will be talking to a pet loss counselor.  It will get better, but it'll be on your own timetable.  You and your husband will have different timetables. I too avoid people who don't get it, and seek out people who do get it.  Sometimes we don't have a choice because the world goes cruelly on, so we have to plan how to deal with those that don't get it and do as much as we are able to seek out those that do. 

I've been telling people I have found a great website that also has a lot of good support resources and is a nice pairing with this website -- https://www.aplb.org/ - Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement.  "We are all professionally-trained volunteers in pet bereavement counseling, and are here for you. Our beloved animal friends have brought us together, and in honor of them we are now all here for each other, as well."  Check out their Support and Resources links, as well as the other links.  I'm near retirement -- this group trains pet loss counselors -- now thinking maybe that's something I'd like to do.

I talk to Ernie all the time, and call me crazy buy I ordered some orange and white kitty stuffed animals and put them where Ernie would sleep or hang out.  Makes me feel better than seeing an empty spot.  I feel like he's with me, and they give him a vessel to put himself into when he wants to take a nap in an old favorite spot or look out the window.

Don't give up your life dreams.  Your farmhouse will be there for you and your family when you are ready.  Wrangler knows you love and miss him, and wherever he his he's warm, safe and loved.  If he's hanging out with Ernie, I guarantee their having a good time.  Ernie was big, happy clown-cat, loved to play with everyone (when he wasn't sleeping).
DonnaM
Ernie in the Sky, With Diamonds

Quote 0 0
Purzel
Elizabeth,
I am so so sorry to read about your tragic loss. Wrangler's picture shows such a lovely little funny dog. He looks very joyful and I can see right there how much you must love him. I really do not have any healing words to say to you or anything to make your pain go away. I wished I did. I know you have done exactly the right thing by letting him go - this just shows how much you loved him as you wanted the best for him. Everything is still so raw and extremely painful - but just stay here for a while and talk about all that is on your mind. You are not alone and we will all be here for you to listen and share your grief.
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


Quote 0 0
MissingScooty
MissingScooty wrote:
Wrangler24 I just read your heartbreaking story. Please know that all deaths of pets is hard, and sudden deaths have their own issues, as do lingering illnesses. For you it's shock.  This forum has helped me a lot. I also ordered a bunch of books about pet grief, but had a hard time reading some of them. Yes, try to eat...but most important...let the tears flow, when they need to. I know that might be tough while at work though..but if that happens just go to a restroom for a few minutes if you need too. I understand the nightmares. I had one too and it was horrid. For me, I have started specific prayers to stop them but that's not for everyone.
It really sounds like you made the right decision. Please hang in there.
Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
Quote 0 0