I've never posted before so not sure where to start. I adopted Sqeeker when she was 5 weeks old. Brought her home to meet the rest of the family. Slash, Rocket and our cat Cream Puff. She was so scared of everyone including the humans. I was the only one she would come to. 

Fast forward 3 years, we are building a house so right now a motorhome is home. All the babies love it. My health has deteriorated over the last few years. I don't drive because of seizures and mini strokes. I'm telling you this so the part makes sense.

It was a Sunday night. She had been her normal self all day. She use to come up and stretch herself as high as she could on my side. She did that then dropped to the floor. That's when it started. She made sounds I had never heard before. Couldn't stand or walk. I called the only 2 people close that might help. One said sleeping and other just refused. I had to watch my baby die.

Now I can't stop hearing her, seeing her suffer. I feel like I felled her. I miss her so much. She was my baby.

Any suggestions to help me.
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Hi Amy,

I am so sorry for your loss.  My beloved dog passed away unexpectedly and she was only 9.  I don’t know the exact cause of death but they said stroke, aneurysm, heart attack or possibly cancer So I know how you feel.  I also went through and I’m still going through all the what ifs and I should haves and maybes, guilt and blame but at the end of the day the only thing that gives me peace is knowing that she did not suffer.  I also believe that animals come to our lives for a reason and they leave us when it’s their time to go and with our best interest at heart.  Sending you love and prayers 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. You didn't fail her, you tried and did what you could. It's very sad that the people we know can be so utterly selfish at times we need them the most. The only suggestion I have to offer is to not beat yourself over it and give yourself time to grieve. I know it's hard to see it, especially when it's still so fresh, but you have nothing to feel guilty about. 
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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