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forestchild

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #1 
Hi,
My daughter's beautiful 9 year old Labrador cross, Friskie is very ill. 10 months ago he was diagnosed with a probable brain tumour after having several fits. We didn't have an MRI scan as we have very little money and the vet said little could be done anyway, but because of this my daughter has clung to the outside chance that it was epilepsy. The vet said that in view of Friskie's age this was unlikely. He was treated for the fits and did well through the summer. He has had 2 bad patches when his medication was increased but has picked up each time.

On Saturday he seemed very lethargic and then started walking in circles. His back legs were weak and he was having frequent toilet accidents in the house. The vet said that he thinks he has had a stroke. He says he should recover in a week or two at most, but we still don't know how long he has from his tumour or even if he definitely has a tumour, though I am pretty sure he does. Today he is worse. He doesn't seem to have any use in his back legs and either sleeps or whines. We will call the vet again this evening and my daughter's heart is breaking.

She is 24 and has mental health problems. She is mildly autistic and highly sensitive to the dog's feelings. A little while ago we thought he was about to leave us but now he is sleeping.My husband and I both have poor health. We have 2 sons, one at home and one who lives nearby. They both feel we should have Frisky put to sleep but the vet said he would recover from the stoke. Even though he hasn't got long we want to keep him as long as we can so long as he is not suffering. We don't think he is in pain but not being able to walk around is distressing him. Are we justified in letting him live through this if he hasn't got long anyway? If it was me I would want every last minute, but he doesn't understand the paralysis is temporary. I just don't know what is right and my eldest son is making me me feel terrible saying I am keeping Frisky alive because I don't want to upset my daughter. Do I have a choice anyway? He is her dog not mine.

We also have an elderly cat with breathing problems whose time is approaching. It's all very hard.

Sylvia

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Cindy

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Posts: 12
Reply with quote  #2 
You are certainly between the rock and hard place.  You can try to convince your daughter to put him to sleep due to the pain he is in.  I do not envy you.  I can only imagine how hard it is for you.  It must be tearing you apart at the seams.  God love you.  You may have to make the decision yourself to prevent him from suffering.  You personally do not need this added stress in your life.  Nor does your beloved/.

Take care.
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forestchild

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you Cindy for your kind words.
It has been decided for us. Friskie passed away about a half hour after I posted that message. We had given him a sedative that the vet gave us for him if he was distressed, so he passed peacefully and in my daughter's arms. I thank God we didn't have to make the decision.

Now I have to get my daughter through this. She is saying she has nothing to live for now. It's a long story, but a neighbour exposed himself to her many years ago. After we got her the dog he never came near again. Friskie was her knight in shining armour and she adored him.She has severe social phobia and he was her reason to get out so that she could walk him. Now she says she never wants to go out again as he wont be there.

My husband is upset, too, as he did a lot of the walks when my daughter was ill and he grew very close to him. I keep looking at the place in front of the living room fire and seeing him stretched out there. We will get over it though. We've been there before. But I am so worried about my daughter as she already suffers depression.

In a way, though, I am relieved it is over. It was my late father's birthday yesterday and my parents wedding anniversary today. Dad adored dogs and I think it was a sign that he will care for Friskie now.

Sylvia

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Cindy

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Posts: 12
Reply with quote  #4 

I am not a doctor.  But, she may need professional help.  Due to her fragile mental condition, you may need assistance from a certified grief counselor.  My heart goes out to you and your family as you have lost a beloved member of your familu, but are fearing for your daughter already stressed emotional condition.  Talk to your family doctor for referrals.  It will take time for you but she may need more time.  Take care.

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zheriz

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Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #5 
Hi Sylvia,

   I just lost my 18 year old pup on Feb 28 and had to go through the same thing. I was so sure I wouldn't put my dog to sleep but in the end I did. She was crying a lot because of pain, she couldn't walk anymore but kept trying and it was so hard to watch. Unfortunately I had to do what I said I wouldn't. She was skinny, wasn't eating or drinking anymore, we were manually feeding her and it didn't seem right. I can't tell you what to do but you will know when it's time to make a decision. In my head it will never be time, up to this day I keep thinking she's at the vet and I can just come by and pick her up. We saw the signs that she was ready, I couldn't accept it but I had to. I wish they could all just live forever with us. We all want to keep fighting it, if we could have it our way they'd all be healthy. I am so sorry for your pain and your family's. Just give him much love so he knows he's not alone in this battle. I wish Friskie the best and will pray for him to get well. Take care.
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Susie_Squillions

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Reply with quote  #6 
Dear Sylvia,

My heart aches for your family  now.  In time, Friskie will send your daughter a new best friend.  Explain to her that when a best friend moves away, we make new friends with whom we can share our secrets and spend our days.  Friskie is her special angel now, and he will make sure that she has a friend with whom to spend her time.

I just posted a parable called The Dragonfly for you to pass along to your daughter.  It was written as a parable to explain death to young children, but I know it has brought comfort to so many of us here, I like to share it every so often.  I hope it will help your family now.

Your family and your sweet Friskie are all in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxoxo



__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

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In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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txgal

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Posts: 49
Reply with quote  #7 
I am praying for your Friskie......

My dog also suffered from what appeared to be a stroke or brain tumor about 18 months ago. Unfortunately he crossed the bridge on Feb 3rd due to congestive heart failure. What he suffered with when I thought it was a stroke was a severe inner ear infection. Something old dogs suffer with called vestibular disease. He was vomiting, couldn't stand well and was stumbling when walking. The vet said it could be a brain tumor...they just didn't know. After antibiotics for a few weeks he did just fine for the next 1 1/2 years.
You are in a tough position......I think the previous posts have brought up good points. I had to make the hard decision for my furbaby but it was evident that he was not comfortable and his quality of life was not going to improve...thank heaven we have this option available, as hard as the decision may be.....it's the final act of love we can give to our furbaby; to give them comfort and peace.....
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Hulasmommy

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Posts: 15
Reply with quote  #8 

I'm so sorry for your loss.....my loss is new as well and my heart goes out to you. I know this is going to sound not very sensitive but since your daughter is involved and  in a different mental state, maybe trying to explain that our Heavenly Father needed her dog in heaven but he does not want her to grieve because there is many dogs looking for her love at shelter, not only looking but needing her love, and try to get her a new companion would help her. Try to explain that they need her as much as she needs them. Hope this works/helps!!! You are in my prayers.....

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