mishacosette1
You know its almost been 2 years since i put Cosette down,  and even though i'm better, the daunting guestions persist.  "why didnt i wait and try medicines after the  worst bite.  even the worst bite wasn't that bad.  She didnt want to hurt me, she was using some control.

If i only had someone rational with me who could have seen the situation clearer.  why did I rush to put her down?  Because i was traumatized .Until that point she had clamped my hands tight in her mouth.  and it hurt like fire,  but there weren't any lacerations. The last time she lunged up unexpectedly and did use canines,  but it looked so much worse than it was.  Why didn't i insist on Medication.  why didn't i take her to a behaviorist.  why didn;t i wear gloves.  so i could work with her.  I failed her.    I didn't know there were sanctuaries although not many took a dog that bites.
     Bottom line is i adopted a rescue at 3 yrs. old, and put her down at 4 .  after about 30 clampings.  
     However i did fail her,  and Cosette, I wish i had held you at the vet when they were tranquilizing you.    It's just that i was in shock.  I miss your beautiful personality,  and i am a criminal for not giving you a better chance.  love mommy
Michelle Cory
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camunki
i am so sorry for your loss, and i am sure 2 years feels like only 2weeks. I think you did the best that you could at the time. You made the choice that you wanted at that time. I am sorry you are questioning yourself, I think we all do. I know I question that i should have waited longer, even if it was a few hours or days. I think we all want to be with our pets for as long as possible.



Cam


 
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mishacosette1

Hi, 

just wanted to say,  thank you for responding,  it was not what i wanted to to,  it felt like my only choice,  i wish i could have found a sanctuary to take her. I begged some women and they said they couldn't because they had children,  my plan before the last series of bites,  was to leave her at a pet resort,  with behavior training,  and agility training for 5 weeks.  I was so happy when they said it was only 1500.00. I am missing her and talking to her all day asking for her forgivness,  I have adopted another dog, who is an angel,  and i tell her about her sister Cosette.  Thank-you

Michelle Cory
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KimR
Please stop beating yourself up. If she had been happy and healthy she would not have kept biting you. No matter how much you loved her, and she loved you, she sounds like she was at the emotional end of her rope, in incurable pain as surely as if she had terminal cancer.

I have had to make the same heart wrenching decision you did. I have come to believe I made a decision my friend, my dear cat of 15 years, couldn't.

Keeping you in my prayers...
Kim
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mishacosette1
Thanks Kim.  Some days i can stop beating up on myself, then i read a story about a do who was saved at a sanctuary.  After doing more exploration,  i read that most sanctuaries wont take aggressive  dogs  who bite.  She bit out of fear,  not dominance, and thats why i aways have the doubt, that the right person could have helped her with some medication.    As you said she was probably at the end of her rope and could take any more.   I have ocd,  and it makes tragedy and stress so much harder for me,  because the disorder of ocd, makes me keep doubting.  I have to constantly work at it, and i am so tired.  It feels good to have someone like you who understands.  hugs
Misha  ps.  ocd is (Obsessive Compulsive disorder)
Michelle Cory
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